


Till Dawn

by 71Mistakes



Series: Twilight: Re-imagined [2]
Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Jacob is not Bella, M/M, New Moon Re-imagined
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 19:22:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 50,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14960612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/71Mistakes/pseuds/71Mistakes
Summary: What if the Twilight Saga was re-written with Jacob as the Protagonist? What if instead of Bella being the new girl in Forks High it was Jacob? What would happen when the wolf warrior and the cold one parts crossed and their destiny was already written? Would the two of them be able to co-exist in peace? Or will they be torn apart.





	1. And So It Begins

**Chapter I**

Today was my birthday. I was officially seventeen years old.

I'd been dreading this day for months.

All through what had to be the most perfect months of my life - where my relationship with Edward was better and stronger than ever, I got along with every single one of the Cullens, even Billy and I found a happy medium for us to get along, Angela and Mike were the best friends anyone could ask for, I was acing all my classes and everything was all around great - this bleak date had lurked in ambush, waiting to spring.

And now that it had hit I didn't know what to expect. The tribe was still anti-Edward - of course but they had given me what they called a compromise and what I saw as an ultimatum. I had until my seventeenth birthday to accept my birth right and pick up the mantle of Alpha or else the entire Black line would be banished from La Push. Which if the meant just me I could care less but it would mean Billy. It would mean Sue, Leah, Seth who apparently their great-grandmother's mother was a Black. It would mean the Littlesea family who was related somehow and so on and so forth. Practically a quarter of the reservation would be gone if they banished everyone who was related to a Black.

But accepting 'my birthright' would mean abandoning Edward which was not on my list of things to do.

Plus it had been months since 'the incident' and I had not officially shifted yet. Not that the tribe wasn't trying. They were constantly trying to piss me off and force me into a shift but these days I was pretty zen. It helped that Jasper made sure that he was always attuned to my emotions even if he wasn't with me and helped me stay calm.

When I went to brush my teeth, I was almost surprised that I was no longer surprised at the face in the mirror. I was now starting to get used to the height - having to bend my head to enter doors and muscles - having to buy a whole new wardrobe courtesy Alice since my clothes no longer fit and increased appetite - it was ridiculous the amount of food I ate daily.

I skipped breakfast - a thing I would regret later -, in a hurry to get out of the house as quickly as possible. I was successful in avoiding my dad but I saw that he had left out presents for me - even though I requested that I not get any.

I drove to school and pulled into the familiar parking lot behind Forks High School and spotted Edward leaning motionlessly against his polished silver Volvo, like a marble tribute to some forgotten pagan god of beauty. He was waiting there for me, just the same as every other day.

Except today Alice, Mike and Angela was standing by his side, waiting for me, too. Mike and Angela made an effort to talk to the Cullens now since I tended to spend a lot of time with them but it was always funny to see how awkward they would act around each other.

The sight of Alice waiting there - her tawny eyes brilliant with excitement, and a small silver-wrapped square in her hands - made me frown. I'd told Alice - I told everyone - I didn't want anything, anything, not gifts or even attention, for my birthday. Obviously, my wishes were being ignored.

I slammed the door of my 1996 Chevy K150- which Billy gave to me cause he had no use for it - and walked slowly toward where they waited.

Mike ran forward to meet me - jumping up towards me when he was close enough expecting me to catch him, which I did. Ever since I got taller, Mike had a habit of jumping all over me - 'the weather is different up here Jake' - and I'd just gotten use to it.

"Happy birthday, Dude!" he screamed

"Thank you Mike" I laughed "Get down!"

When Mike finally jumped down Angela came forward and gave me a hug "Happy Birthday Jake." she said softly

She was always so soft spoken but a great friend "Thanks Angie"

Mike turned around and looked at where ALice and Edward were still hanging back and then looked at me. I laughed at the look on his face. The Cullens still made everyone nervous.

"Um .. we'll see you in class right Jake." he said and then Angela hugged me again and the were off.

"Later guys!" I said to their retreating backs.

Then Alice stepped forward holding the box not looking the least bit sorry. "Do you want to open your present now or later?" she asked eagerly as we made our way to where Edward still waited.

"No presents," I protested in a mumble.

"Okay... later, then. Did you like the scrapbook you got? And the camera from Billy?"

I sighed. Of course she would know what my birthday presents were. Edward wasn't the only member of his family with unusual skills. Alice would have "seen" what I got. Although these days Alice was having trouble 'seeing' me. She would get flashes flickering in and out.

Carlisle had a theory that Alice couldn't see the wolves but since I was in the middle of shifted/yet not shifted she could still see me. Just not clearly. It was very frustrating for her at times.

"Well I didn't open it yet but yeah those sound like cool gifts."

"I think it's a nice idea. You're only a senior once. Might as well document the experience."

"How many times have you been a senior?" I smirked

"That's different." she said sticking her tongue out.

We reached Edward then, and he held out his hand for mine. I took it eagerly, pulling him to me and touching his lips to mine. It was a tame kiss - we were in school after all - but it still made my heart skip a beat. Hearing the stutter in my heartbeats, he smiled again.

We pulled apart and lifted his free hand and traced one cool fingertip around the outside of my lips as he spoke. "So, as discussed, I am not allowed to wish you a happy birthday, is that correct?"

"Yes. That is correct."

"Just checking." He ran his hand through his tousled bronze hair. "You might have changed your mind. Most people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts."

Alice laughed, and the sound was all silver, a wind chime. "Of course you'll enjoy it. Everyone is supposed to be nice to you today and give you your way, Jake. What's the worst that could happen?"

She meant it as a rhetorical question but both Edward and I had an answer. The other Cullens did not know of the threat of banishment that loomed over my head. Edward and I made a conscious decision not to tell them.

The Cullens had become fiercely protective towards me and I didn't know what they would do when they found out what the tribe was threatening.

"What time will you be at the house?" Alice continued, oblivious to the change in our moods. From her expression, she was up to exactly the kind of thing I'd been hoping to avoid.

"I didn't know I had plans to be there."

"Oh, be fair, Jacob!" she complained. "You aren't going to ruin all our fun like that, are you?"

"I thought my birthday was about what I want."

"I'll get him from the border right after school," Edward told her, ignoring me altogether.

"I have to work," I protested.

"You don't, actually," Alice told me smugly. "Mike already spoke to Mr. Newton about it. He said he could do without his best mechanic for one evening. He said to tell you 'Happy Birthday.'"

"I - I still can't come over," I stammered, scrambling for an excuse even though I knew it's pointless. "I, well, I haven't watched Romeo and Juliet yet for English."

Alice snorted. "You have Romeo and Juliet memorized."

"But Mr. Berty said we needed to see it performed to fully appreciate it - that's how Shakespeare intended it to be presented."

Edward rolled his eyes. He knew I was fighting a losing battle.

"You've already seen the movie," Alice accused.

"But not the nineteen-sixties version. Mr. Berty said it was the best."

Finally, Alice lost the smug smile and glared at me. "This can be easy, or this can be hard, Jacob, but one way or the other - "

Edward interrupted her threat. "Relax, Alice. If Jake wants to watch a movie, then he can. It's his birthday."

"So there," I added suspiciously. Edward wasn't one to bet against Alice

"I'll bring him over around seven," he continued. "That will give you more time to set up."

Traitor.

Alice's laughter chimed again. "Sounds good. See you tonight, Jake! It'll be fun, you'll see." She grinned - the wide smile exposed all her perfect, glistening teeth - then pulled me down and pecked me on the cheek and danced off toward her first class before I could respond.

"Edward, please - " I started to beg, but he pressed one cool finger to my lips.

"Let's discuss it later. We're going to be late for class."

No one bothered to stare at us as we took our usual seats in the back of the classroom (we had almost every class together now - it was amazing the favours Edward could get the female administrators to do for him). Edward and I had been together too long now to be an object of gossip anymore.

As the day progressed, I considered ways to get out of whatever was going down at the Cullen house tonight. It would be bad enough to have to celebrate when I was in the mood to mourn. But, worse than that, this was sure to involve attention and gifts. I had this big decision to make and no more time to make it. It was just frustrating.

Because of all of this unneeded stress I'd very pointedly asked - well, ordered really - that no one give me any presents this year. It looked like Billy and whoever gave me the scrap book - probably Seth - weren't the only ones who had decided to overlook that.

I'd never had much money, and that had never bothered me. Sarah had raised me on a painter's salary - and anyone who was into art would know it's not much. Billy wasn't getting rich from his disability cheques either. My only personal income came from the days I worked the garage. In a town this small, I was lucky to have a job. Every penny I made went into my microscopic college fund.

Edward had a lot of money - I didn't even want to think about how much. Money meant next to nothing to Edward or the rest of the Cullens. It was just something that accumulated when you had unlimited time on your hands and a sister who had an uncanny ability to predict trends in the stock market. Edward didn't seem to understand why I objected to him spending money on me - why it made me uncomfortable if he took me to an expensive restaurant in Seattle, why he wasn't allowed to buy me a car that could reach speeds over fifty-five miles an hour, or why I wouldn't let him pay my college tuition. Edward thought I was being unnecessarily difficult.

As the day went on, neither Edward nor Alice brought my birthday up again, and I began to relax a little.

We sat at our usual table for lunch.

A strange kind of truce existed at that table. Six of us - Edward, Alice, and I sat on the extreme southern end of the table. Now that the "older" and somewhat scarier (in Emmett's case, certainly) Cullen siblings had graduated, Alice and Edward did not seem quite so intimidating, and we did not sit here alone. Angela and Ben (whose relationship was going strong) and Mike sat with us, while Jessica (who was in the awkward post-breakup friendship phase with Mike), Eric, Conner, Tyler, and Lauren (though the last few didn't really count in the friend category) all sat at the same table, on the other side of an invisible line. That line dissolved on sunny days when Edward and Alice always skipped school, and then the conversation would swell out effortlessly to include all of us.

Edward and Alice didn't find this minor ostracism odd or hurtful the way I would have. They barely noticed it. People always felt strangely ill at ease with the Cullens, almost afraid for some reason they couldn't explain to themselves. I was a rare exception to that rule. Sometimes it bothered Edward how very comfortable I was with being close to him. The whole shifter vampire are enemies thing meant more to him than it did to me.

The afternoon passed quickly. School ended, and Edward walked me to my truck as he usually did. But this time, he held the passenger door open for me. Alice must have been taking his car home so that he could keep me from making a run for it.

I folded my arms and made no move to get out of the rain. "It's my birthday, don't I get to drive?"

"I'm pretending it's not your birthday, just as you wished."

"If it's not my birthday, then I don't have to go to your house tonight..."

"All right." He shut the passenger door and walked past me to open the driver's side. "Happy birthday."

Edward played with the radio while I drove, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Your radio has horrible reception. Your truck on the whole is horrible"

"First off you want a nice stereo? Drive your own car." My tone made him press his lips together to keep from smiling "Secondly you know that I'm fixing the Rabbit. It'll have all the upgrades. Radio included. I just need the master cylinder which I almost have enough saved up for.

When I parked in front of border to let Edward out the mood shifted. He reached over to take my face in his hands.

"Have you come to a decision," he whispered.

"You know I haven't."

"You should choose the reservation." he said seriously

"Edward shut up."

It was a argument we had many times since the ultimatum was given. That although the rez wasn't my way of life all those people it was all they knew. And I agreed with him but it wasn't that easy.

"You know it's the logical choice." he added

"It isn't. You know it isn't. They can't force me to be a wolf. They don't even know if I am one yet. There's a lot of grey area that no one seems to been considering. It's not that bad. You said we were soulmates. You're okay with just given up on that?"

"You don't believe in soulmates. Plus the tribal leaders said you shifting proves that I'm not your soulmate even if you are mine."

"Yeah and then those same tribal leaders refuse to explain exactly how does shifting prove you're not my soulmate. I'm 'one of them' but they still keep secrets from me."

"They keep secrets from you because you're with me. You could be so much more."

"Bullshit."

"You could. You could be Alpha. You are Alpha."

"I don't want to be Alpha and you know that."

"But ..."

"No but" I silenced him with a kiss "Enough. I don't want to talk about this with you. When I figure out what I'm doing I'll let you know."

"Okay. Whatever you say."

"Good. Now get out of my truck. I have to go watch Romeo and Juliet."

"You know, I've never had much patience with Romeo," he commented making no move to leave the truck.

"What's wrong with Romeo?" I asked, a little offended. Romeo was one of my favorite fictional characters.

"Well, first of all, he's in love with this Rosaline - don't you think it makes him seem a little fickle? And then, a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?"

I sighed. "Well it's a good thing I'm not watching the movie with you."

"I'll see you later." and he was gone.

* * *

I drove over the border half expecting to be stopped by the elders demanding my decision. Shockingly enough there was no obstacles between me and my house.

When I arrived Billy was nowhere to be seen. I dropped my bag by the door where I always leave it and plopped myself down to watch the movie. Romeo and Juliet was truly one of my favourites and I could watch it over and over again.

I cried at the end - though I would admit that to no one - and considered putting it on again but I did promise I'd meet Edward at the border at 6:45. I shut off the TV and moved to take a shower. It was an effort because the shower was way too small for me but I had mastered it by now.

Pulling out a black button down that was much more expensive than a black shirt should be and a pair of my fanciest jeans along with my black dress shoes I was ready to go.

I was almost home free - practically out the door - when I was stopped by the masses.

"Jacob we need your answer." Quil Atera III, one of the Elders of the tribe and Quil's grandfather demanded.

"Hey dad," I said cheerily instead, seeing him among the other. It was the Elders - Quil Atera III, Harry Clearwater, Billy - and the pack - Sam, Paul, Jared, Embry, Quil and Seth.

Billy was not amused. I did not call him dad unless I was using extreme sarcasm.

"We gave you until today." Quil III continued "What is your decision?"

"The day isn't done yet. I have until midnight." I said walking forward "So if you could just all be on your way."

I didn't make it far. Sam stood in front of my blocking my path - Jared and Paul on his flank.

"This is serious Jacob."

"I understand that. Which is why I need the full time to consider all options."

"Options?" Paul spat "You are actually considering allowing people to be forced out of their homes. And for what? A leech!?"

I hated Paul. He was such an ass. Always picking fights "I was not the one who came up with the ultimatum!" I yelled. I was starting to get pissed.

"But you are the one who can make the decision" Jared said. I had not decided how I felt about Jared. He was soft spoke like Angela but he hung around Sam which made him a dick. "I understand it hard but you must understand too. They are the enemy. It should be an easy decision"

"The Cullens did nothing, NOTHING, to deserve the title of enemy." I yelled

"Their kind ..." Quil started but I cut him off

"Their kind does not define them. Just like my kind doesn't define me. And what would you know about the Cullens anyway Quil. Have you met any of them?"

"They're leeches." he countered "That's all I need to know."

"Have a lot of experience with vampires do you?" I asked and he was quiet.

"Do any of you?" I demanded looking around the group. "No you don't. All you have is your stories. Your legends. Me, I know the Cullens and I've fought other Vampires. I know the difference. I know that Edward and his family does not fall into the category you try to place them in. So no. It isn't an easy decision. And no, I haven't decided yet. But you gave me until the end of today and I plan to use the entire day. So if you would excuse me, my boyfriend's sister is throwing me a party and she will murder us all if I'm late."

I pushed pass Sam and the others and walked towards the border half expecting them to follow.

They didn't.

* * *

"What's wrong?"

Edward was out of the car and walking towards me as soon as I was close to the border.

"I don't want to talk about it." Edward looked like he was going to protest "I mean it Edward. I don't want to talk about it. But I do need to be home by 11 so I can tell everyone by big decision."

Edward still looked like he would rather say something by instead turned and got in his car and i followed.

"How was Romeo and Juliet? Did you cry at the end?" he smirked as though he already knew the answer.

"Shut up" I laughed "It's sad they killed themselves."

"I agree," Edward said. "I must admit though I do envy them."

"Why is there in Romeo and Juliet to envy?" I asked curiously.

"The ease of the suicide," he clarified. "You humans have it so easy! All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts..."

"What?" I gasped.

"It's something I had to think about once, and I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple. I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself in the beginning... after he realized what he'd become..." His voice, which had grown serious, turned light again. "And he's clearly still in excellent health."

I twisted around so that I could read his face. "What are you talking about?" I demanded. "What do you mean, this something you had to think about once?"

"Last spring, when you were... nearly killed..." He paused to take a deep breath, struggling to return to his teasing tone. "Of course I was trying to focus on finding you alive, but part of my mind was making contingency plans. Like I said, it's not as easy for me as it is for a human."

For one second, the memory the iccident washed through my head and made me feel dizzy. I could see it all so clearly - the blinding sun, the heat waves coming off the concrete as I ran with desperate haste to find the sadistic vampire who wanted to torture me to death. James, waiting in the mirrored room with my Leah and Seth as his hostages. I shook my head - as if I could shake away the bad memories - and tried to grasp what Edward meant. My stomach plunged uncomfortably. "Contingency plans?" I repeated.

"Well, I wasn't going to live without you." He rolled his eyes as if that fact were childishly obvious. "But I wasn't sure how to do it - I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help... so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi."

I didn't want to believe he was serious, but his golden eyes were brooding, focused on something far away in the distance as he contemplated ways to end his own life. Abruptly, I was furious.

"What is a Volturi?" I demanded.

"The Volturi are a family," he explained, his eyes still remote. "A very old, very powerful family of our kind. They are the closest thing our world has to a royal family, I suppose. Carlisle lived with them briefly in his early years, in Italy, before he settled in America - do you remember the story?"

"Of course I remember."

I would never forget the first time I'd gone to his home, the huge white mansion buried deep in the forest beside the river, or the room where Carlisle - Edward's father in so many real ways - kept a wall of paintings that illustrated his personal history. The most vivid, most wildly colorful canvas there, the largest, was from Carlisle's time in Italy. Of course I remembered the calm quartet of men, each with the exquisite face of a seraph, painted into the highest balcony overlooking the swirling mayhem of color. Though the painting was centuries old, Carlisle - the blond angel - remained unchanged. And I remembered the three others, Carlisle's early acquaintances. Edward had never used the name Volturi for the beautiful trio, two black-haired, one snow white. He'd called them Aro, Caius, and Marcus, nighttime patrons of the arts.

"Anyway, you don't irritate the Volturi," Edward went on, interrupting my reverie. "Not unless you want to die - or whatever it is we do." His voice was so calm, it made him sound almost bored by the prospect.

My anger turned to horror. I took his marble face between my hands and held it very tightly.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You must never, never, never think of anything like that again!" I said. "No matter what might ever happen to me, you are not allowed to hurt yourself!"

"I'll never put you in danger again and you're strong enough to take care of yourself so it's a moot point "

"Suicide is not moot point" I was getting angrier. "How dare you even think like that?" The idea of Edward ceasing to exist, even if I were dead, was impossibly painful.

"What would you do, if the situation were reversed?" he asked.

"That's not the same thing."

He didn't seem to understand the difference. He chuckled.

"What if something did happen to you asshole?" I blanched at the thought. "Would you want me to go off myself?"

A trace of pain touched his perfect features.

"I guess I see your point... a little," he admitted. "But what would I do without you?"

"Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence."

He sighed. "You make that sound so easy."

"It should be. You seem to think it'd be easy for me."

He was about to argue, but then he let it go. "Moot point," he reminded me. Then we were in front the Cullen mansion.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"That depends on what it is."

He sighed, his lovely face serious. "Jacob, the last real birthday any of us had was Emmett in 1935. Cut us a little slack, and don't be too difficult tonight. I get it that you're a bit stressed but they're all very excited."

It always startled me a little when he brought up things like that. "Fine, I'll behave."

"I probably should warn you..."

"Please do."

"When I say they're all excited... I do mean all of them."

"Everyone?" I choked. "I thought Emmett and Rosalie were in Africa." The rest of Forks was under the impression that the older Cullens had gone off to college this year, to Dartmouth, but I knew better.

"They wanted to be here."

Bright light shined from every window of the house on the first two floors. A long line of glowing Japanese lanterns hung from the porch eaves, reflecting a soft radiance on the huge cedars that surrounded the house. Big bowls of flowers - pink roses - lined the wide stairs up to the front doors.

I moaned.

Edward took a few deep breaths to calm himself. "This is a party," he reminded me. "Try to be a good sport."

"Sure," I muttered.

He came around to get my door, and offered me his hand.

They were all waiting in the huge white living room; when I walked through the door, they greeted me with a loud chorus of "Happy birthday, Jacob!" while I blushed and looked down. Alice, I assumed, had covered every flat surface with candles and dozens of crystal bowls filled with hundreds of roses. There was a table with a white cloth draped over it next to Edward's grand piano, holding a birthday cake, more roses, a stack of glass plates, and a small pile of silver-wrapped presents.

It was a hundred times worse than I'd imagined.

Edward, sensing my distress, wrapped an encouraging arm around my waist and pulled me down for a kiss.

Edward's parents, Carlisle and Esme - impossibly youthful and lovely as ever - were the closest to the door. Esme hugged me carefully and then Carlisle shook my hand in a firm grip.

"Sorry about this, Jake," he stage-whispered. "We couldn't rein Alice in."

Rosalie and Emmett stood behind them. Rosalie smiled and Emmett's face was stretched into a huge grin. It had been months since I'd seen them; I'd forgotten how gloriously beautiful Rosalie was - it almost hurt to look at her. And had Emmett always been so... big?

"You haven't changed at all," Emmett said with mock disappointment. "I expected you to be at least 8 feet or something by now. But here you are as small as ever."

"Oh bite me Emmett," I said, with a laugh stepping forward to hug him.

He laughed, "I have to step out for a second" - he paused to wink conspicuously at Alice - "Don't do anything funny while I'm gone."

"I'll try my best."

Alice let go of Jasper's hand and skipped forward, all her teeth sparkling in the bright light. Jasper smiled, too, but was smart enough to let Alice hug me first. Then he stepped forward and hugged me.

"Jasper buddy" I said with a laugh "How things?"

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes "Been better."

Jasper had more trouble sticking to the Cullens' diet than the rest of them; the scent of human blood was much harder for him to resist than the others - he hadn't been trying as long and recently he came close to attacking a human girl out of pure instinct. It hit him hard cause he had been doing so well.

"Time to open presents," Alice declared. She put her cool hand under my elbow and towed me to the table with the cake and the shiny packages.

I put on my best martyr face. "Alice, I know I told you I didn't want anything - "

"But I didn't listen," she interrupted, smug. "Open it." She placed a big, square silver box.

The box was slightly heavy. The tag on top said that it was from Edward, Rosalie, and Jasper. I tore the paper off and then stared at the box it concealed.

"Is this why you were dissing my radio?" I asked Edward laughing and he smiled.

It was a new stereo. Perfect for the rabbit.

"We figured you'd have as much fun installing it as getting it." Jasper said

"Thanks, Jasper, Rosalie, Edward," I told them, grinning.

"Open mine next," Emmett said as he bounded through the door.

I inhaled deeply and turned to Emmett. "Give it to me," I sighed.

Emmett chuckled with delight.

I took the little package, rolling my eyes at Edward but before I could open it –

"Fuck!" Edward yelled

"What fuck?" I asked alarmed at the panic in his voice.

"The wolves. They're attacking."

"What!" I asked at the same time Carlisle demanded "Why? We haven't broken the treaty."

"They don't want to wait any longer for your answer." Edward said to me.

"Answer for what?" Emmett asked

"Nothing. Don't worry about it." I replied.

"If it's nothing why are they attacking?" Rose countered

"We need to strategize" Emmett said

"Plan a counter attack" Jasper added

"How far out are they?" Carlisle asked

"ENOUGH!" I yelled "No one's countering anything. No one's attacking. No body's being ambushed."

"Jacob they're almost here." Edward said with urgency "They're not coming to talk. They're here to kill us. We need to defend ourselves."

I shook my head. "No one dies tonight. Let me talk to them."

"JACOB!"

"Edward!" I said grabbing his face "Do you trust me?" he nodded "Let me talk to them. How far?"

"They're coming through the trees."

I nodded and stepped outside. The sight before me was one I would not believe if I had not seen it. Six monstrous wolves were running towards us. Each similar yet different. Somehow just by looking at them I could tell who was who.

The largest wolf in the centre of it all was most definitely Sam. He was tall like a horse but more muscular with dagger like incisors and golden eyes and black fur – black like his heart.

A dark silver wolf to the left of Sam was most likely Paul if the look in his dark eyes and his attack stance was anything to go by.

To the right of Sam had to be Jared. He was not as tall as Sam. His fur was short but thick and brown and he had dark grey circles around his eyes.

Next to Jared was Quil with his chocolate brown fur the got lighter as it moved to his face and next to Paul had to be Embry with his grey fur with black spots. He was the only one with a grey nose.

And lagging behind had to be none other than Seth. He was the smallest of them all and had sandy coloured fur and oversized paws.

These things were huge. That's what people expected me to shift into.

"Guys," I said to the wolves who were stalking forward "Let's talk this out."

"Jacob," Edward tried again – the entire Cullen family stood behind me alret and ready "They don't want to talk."

"Too bad because I do" I spat turning to Edward them to the black wolf "It would be nice if I could hear you too Sam. I don't speak growl."

For I moment I wasn't sure if he would listen. Then he barked - which I figured was a command because the others stopped – and turned back to the trees. When he came back out he was on two legs wearing only a pair of cut-off jeans and was walking towards me.

I took a step towards him to meet him half way.

"What are you doing Sam?" I demanded "My times not up yet."

"We're doing what we have to do. You refuse to choose. We're making the choice for you."

"This is bullshit Sam. The choices are dumb. I'm not one of you."

"Because you aren't letting you true self free."

"What is this? The 'born this way' speech"

"This is serious Jacob. You need to not treat it like a joke. They're not who you think they are"

"The Cullens are different."

"No they are not." He insisted "And I'll prove it." He took a step back.

Things happened very quickly then.

Sam shifted back, Leah stepped out of the trees holding a knife and in one swift motion cut the palm of her hand and a single drop of blood oozed from the tiny cut.

"No!" Edward roared.

He threw himself at Leah, flinging her back into a tree. Jasper slammed into Edward, and the sound was like the crash of boulders in a rock slide. The same time Sam attacked Edward biting at his arm.

There was another noise, a grisly snarling that seemed to be coming from deep in Jasper's chest. Jasper tried to shove past Edward, snapping his teeth just inches from Edward's face as Jared came up behind him – jaws on his neck.

Emmett grabbed Paul and yanked him back from Jasper and Rosalie moved to grab Jasper from behind in the next second, locking him into his massive steel grip, but Jasper struggled on, his wild, empty eyes focused only on Leah.

Then Paul was opposite Sam biting the other arm and they both pulled in opposite directions. The scream that Edward gave was one I never wanted to hear again.

At one moment I was watching the scene unfold in horror on two legs, the next I was crashing into Sam on four legs.

"LET HIM GO!" I screamed not knowing if they would even hear me but apparently they did because all the wolves froze.

"Leave this place!" I demanded and they did.

I had no time to question why they listened. Edward was on the floor and he wasn't moving. Emmett and Rosalie were holding Jasper who was still trying to get at Leah while Alice tried to calm him down. Leah sat on the floor shocked and bleeding.

"Jacob?" Carlise said approaching me slowly. He was scared of me I realized.

I tried to make myself look less intimidating.

"Can you change back?" Esme asked.

I shook my head no. I didn't know how. I turned back to Edward in question hoping they would understand. Thankfully Carlisle did.

"Edward is fine. He's just unconscious." He paused "You should take Leah and go back to the rez. Find out how to change back."

I nodded and walked over to Leah. I had to nudge her to get her to climb on my back. I speared one last look at the Cullens then moved to run toward the rez.

For some reason leaving felt final.


	2. The End?

**Chapter II**

"How's Jasper?"

It was the first thing I could think to say. It had been a little more than a week since my disastrous birthday. Things were hectic. There was me having to go to Sam for help in order to shift back, then finally hearing the stories and legends of the tribe.

Now that I had shifted things were different. There was no denying I was a shifter. No if ands or buts about it. I was part of the pack and its rightful leader. That still didn't change the way I felt about Edward.

Now all that was left to do was actually talk to Edward. While I was busy getting used to being a giant wolf he was busy healing.

"He's very unhappy with himself. It's all so much more of challenge for him, and he hates feeling weak." Edward answered even though he refused to look me in the eye.

"It's not his fault. You'll tell him that I'm not mad at him, not at all, won't you?"

"Of course." He paused "Um we should talk."

"Yeah yeah," I hesitated "Just give me a few seconds and let me just tell the guys."

"The guys? Since when are they the guys Jacob?"

I sighed. "A few seconds Edward. Then we'll go somewhere away from the reservation and talk."

It was a quick in and out. I had come to realize that part of being Alpha meant no one questioned your decisions. At least not out loud.

I got in the Volvo and Edward took off. We didn't speak and the silence was somehow intensified by the sudden thunder of the engine. He drove too fast but if anyone could probably survive a crash it was us two.

The silence was making me insane.

"Say something," I finally begged as he turned onto the freeway.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked in a detached voice.

I cringed at his remoteness. 'Tell me you forgive me."

That brought a flicker of life to his face - a flicker of anger. "Forgive you? For what?"

"If I'd just given them an answer instead of putting it off, nothing would have happened."

"Jacob, it was your decision to make and you deserved the time to make it - that hardly deserves the death penalty."

"It's still my fault."

My words opened up the floodgate.

"Your fault? If you were going out with Mike Newton and spending your birthday with Jessica there and Angela and your other normal friends, the worst that could possibly have happened would be what? It's me Jake. It's always been me. I should've stayed away from you. I knew what you were I just love you so much I didn't care. Consequences be damned."

"How the hell did Mike Newton end up in this conversation?" I demanded.

"Mike Newton ended up in this conversation because Mike Newton would be a hell of a lot healthier for you to be with," he growled.

"I'd rather die than be with Mike Newton," I protested. "I'd rather die than be with anyone but you. We knew it wasn't going to be easy. We knew that. So shit hit the fan. Okay. Let's deal with it. But we're not going to talk about me being with frigging Mike."

"Don't be melodramatic, please."

"I'm the melodramatic one? Seriously? Well then, don't you be ridiculous."

He didn't answer. He glared through the windshield, his expression black.

"I brought your presents." He said breaking the silence once again

"What?"

"Your presents. You never finished opening them. I brought it. It's in the back seat.

I reached back and grabbed the box I was opening from Emmett before all the drama started. When I opened the box I almost dropped it in surprise.

"He got me the cylinder for the rabbit?" I said excitedly. I held it like it was the holy grail.

"Yeah he was shopping for some other car parts, he saw it know you needed on and couldn't resist."

"I could finish the Rabbit now" I smiled

"Yes you can." He smiled too but he still didn't look at me.

I picked up the long flat rectangle that must have been from Carlisle and Esme.

I tore the silver paper off with one fluid movement.

Inside the box was a long thick piece of paper with an overwhelming amount of fine print. It took me a minute to get the gist of the information.

"Plane tickets?"

"Well they know you're saving for college and they also know you're way too smart to stay in Forks. So those are plane tickets to anywhere. You don't even have to use it for college it's for anything. And because it doesn't have a destination yet it wouldn't expire until you're ready to go where ever"

"There's two." I said smiling

"Yes there is."

"Well, of course it's too much. But I get to take you with me!"

He chuckled. "Now Alice's."

I set the tickets aside and reached for the last present, my curiosity rekindled. It was a clear CD jewel case, with a blank silver CD inside.

"What is it?" I asked, perplexed.

He didn't say anything; he took the CD and put it in the CD player. He hit play, and we waited in silence. Then the music began.

I listened, speechless and wide-eyed. I knew he was waiting for my reaction, but I couldn't talk. It was his music, his compositions. The first piece on the CD was a song he had written for me.

"It's beautiful, Edward." I shut up, so I could listen.

"Alice said it's from her since she was the one who convinced me to record it," he explained.

"Makes sense." I laughed

Then he pulled off on a dirt road leading into the forest and got out the car.

"What are we doing here?" I asked

"Figured we could talk here"

"In the middle of nowhere?"

"It's a middle of nowhere conversation."

"Okay, let's talk,"

He took a deep breath.

"Jacob, we're leaving."

I took a deep breath, too.

"Why now?"

"Jaocb, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."

"And just to make sure I'm understanding you clearly, when you say we - ,"

"I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct.

I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before I could speak.

"Okay," I said. "I'll come with you."

"You can't, Jacob. Where we're going... It's not the right place for you."

"Where you are is the right place for me."

"I'm no good for you, Jacob."

"Don't be ridiculous." I was starting to get pissed off. "You're the very best part of my life."

"My world is not for you," he said grimly.

"Your world?" I said incredulously "You mean the supernatural world? Cause yeah, where the hell would a horse sized wolf fit in that?"

"Jacob our kinds aren't meant to be together."

"This shit again. I'm tired of the conversation Edward. I'm tired repeating myself. We can make it work. We have made it work. You don't age. I won't age. There's nothing stopping us."

"Except your pack."

"Exactly. My pack. Which by shifter rules mean they have to do whatever the ass I say."

"That still won't stop them from hating us. What happened with Jasper and Leah –"

"What happened with Jasper - that was nothing, Edward! Nothing! It wasn't his fault, or yours, or mine. Those guys shouldn't have brought Leah. They were trying to prove a point!"

"They did prove a point. We're monsters Jake"

"Oh come on. I call bullshit. This is what they want. This is what they expect."

"You're right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."

"You promised! You promised that you would stay – that you won't leave me"

"As long as that was best for you," he interrupted to correct me.

"How is this best for me? What happened to all your soul mate talk? What, all of a sudden you don't love me anymore?"

"Of course, I'll always love you... in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm... tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Jacob. I am not human. I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."

"I'm not human either. You're not making any sense. Don't do this."

"You're not good for me, Jake." He turned his earlier words around, and so I had no argument.

"Fine. You want to break up with me? Fine. You want to leave? Fine! But at least have the audacity to look me in the eyes!"

He turned his head slowly and then his topaz eyes locked on mine.

Then it was as if timed stopped. Everything that matter before didn't anymore. All that matter was Edward. Edward was the only thing holding me to this world.  _Imprint_ my mind supplied. Well would you look at that. The asshole was my soulmate after all. But before I could say anything – give him all new reasons why he was being ridiculous and why he had to stay -

"Goodbye, Jacob," he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice.

"Wait!" I choked out the word, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry me forward. "You can't leave Edward. You're my soul mate."

"You don't believe in soul mates."

"No Edward. You don't understand. It's a wolf thing. Read my mind. You can't leave."

"Take care of yourself," he breathed, cool against my skin.

There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage.

He was gone.

"FUCK!" I screamed and then exploded out of my body.

As a wolf I followed him into the forest but as soon as he realized I was on his trail he moved faster. I felt like I was following him forever when the trail went cold and he was gone.

Love, life, meaning... over.

I lay there with nothing better to do. As I lay there, I had a feeling that more time was passing than I realized. I couldn't remember how long it had been since nightfall. Was it always so dark here at night? Surely, as a rule, some little bit of moonlight would filter down through the clouds, through the chinks in the canopy of trees, and find the ground.

Not tonight. Tonight the sky was utterly black. Perhaps there was no moon tonight - a lunar eclipse, a new moon.

A new moon. I shivered, though I wasn't cold. I realized at some point I had shifted back but I was still warm enough that the cool air didn't bother me.

It was black for a long time before I heard them calling.

Someone was shouting my name. It was muted, muffled by the wet growth that surrounded me, but it was definitely my name. I didn't recognize the voice at first. I thought about answering, but I was dazed, and it took a long time to come to the conclusion that I should answer. By then, the calling had stopped.

Sometime later, the rain woke me up. I don't think I'd really fallen asleep; I was just lost in an unthinking stupor, holding with all my strength to the numbness that kept me from realizing what I didn't want to know.

The rain bothered me a little. It was cold. I unwrapped my arms from around my legs to cover my face.

It was then that I heard the calling again. It was farther away this time, and sometimes it sounded like several voices were calling at once. I tried to breathe deeply. I remembered that I should answer, but I didn't think they would be able to hear me. Would I be able to shout loud enough?

Suddenly, there was another sound, startlingly close. A kind of snuffling, an animal sound. Probably a shifter but I hoped it was a bear. Maybe a bear could eat me?

The rain continued, and I could feel the water pooling up against my cheek. I was trying to gather the strength to turn my head when I saw the light.

At first it was just a dim glow reflecting off the bushes in the distance. It grew brighter and brighter, illuminating a large space unlike the focused beam of a flashlight. The light broke through the closest brush, and I could see that it was a propane lantern, but that was all I could see - the brightness blinded me for a moment.

"Jacob."

The voice was deep and familiar and completely unwanted. He wasn't calling my name to search, he was acknowledging that I was found.

"Go to hell Sam" I managed at a whisper

He ignored me "Have you been hurt?"

I knew the words meant something, but I could only stare, bewildered. How could the meaning matter at this point?

"Jacob" he tried again "Billy sent me to look for you. Sent everyone to look for you actually. We were worried"

He held out a hand. I gazed at it, not sure what I was supposed to do.

"Jacob you're scaring me."

"Go to hell Sam." I tried again softer this time. His black eyes appraised me for a second. Then he was pulling at my legs. Part of my brain registered that I had on no clothes and he was putting a pair of cut-off jeans on me and then he shrugged and walked away.

Good.

Then I heard him call out in a booming voice "I found him!"

"No, I don't think he's hurt," he told someone. "But he's refusing to move. "

"Jake buddy, are you all right?" a new voice asked

"Mike?" I said confused "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you buddy. You had us all freaking out. No one knew where you were and the Cullens are MIA. People were thinking you jumped ship but I knew you would've at least told me."

"It's only been a few hours" I countered.

"Jake," he said his voice filled with concern "It's been three days."

"Huh" I said disoriented.

"Can you walk buddy?"

I nodded slowly

"Okay then, let walk."

He helped me up and we walked forward. It was challenging since I was that much taller than Mike and he had to prop me up. Sam hovered behind looking as though he expected me to fall.

We walked slowly, struggling and then I was in a car.

I closed my eyes.

I opened my eyes again when I heard the door unlock. We were on the porch of my house, and Sam was holding the door for Mike, one arm extended toward us, as if he was preparing to catch me when Mike's arms failed.

"Jacob?" a new voice asked. I looked at the grey-haired man leaning over me, and recognition came after a few slow seconds.

"Billy" I mumbled.

"Are you hurt, Jacob?"

It took me a minute to think that through. I was confused by the memory of Sam's similar question in the woods. Only Sam had asked something else: Have you been hurt? he'd said. The difference seemed significant somehow.

Billy was waiting.

"Not in a way that would matter to you," The words, were true enough for what he'd asked.

His warm hand touched my forehead, and his fingers pressed against the inside of my wrist. I watched his lips as he counted to himself, his eyes on his watch.

"What happened to you?" he asked casually.

I didn't bother to answer just turned and closed my eyes and went to sleep.


	3. Freaking Beau Swan

**Chapter III**

**Four Months Later**

Time passes even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.

Billy's fist came down on the table. "THAT'S IT, Jacob! I'm sending you back to Hawaii."

I looked up from my cereal, which I was pondering rather than eating, and stared at Billy in shock. I hadn't been following the conversation - actually, I hadn't been aware that we were having a conversation - and I wasn't sure what he meant.

"What?," I mumbled, confused.

"I'm sending you back to Rebecca, to Hawaii," he clarified.

Billy watched with exasperation as I slowly grasped the meaning of his words.

"What did I do?" I felt my face crumple. It was so unfair. My behavior had been above reproach for the past four months. After that first week, which neither of us ever mentioned, I hadn't missed a day of school or work. My grades were perfect. I never broke curfew - I never went anywhere from which to break curfew in the first place. I hung out with Sam and the others when necessary – even though I was back to by initial problem of not being able to shift. This time though it had to do with being away from my imprint I was sure – not that anyone knew I'd even imprinted. According to the legends I was not sure how I was still alive.

Billy was scowling.

"You didn't do anything. That's the problem. You never do anything."

"You want me to get into trouble?" I wondered, my eyebrows pulling together in mystification. I made an effort to pay attention. It wasn't easy. I was so used to tuning everything out, my ears felt stopped up.

"Trouble would be better than this... this moping around all the time!"

That stung a bit. I'd been careful to avoid all forms of moroseness, moping included.

"I am not moping around."

"Wrong word," he grudgingly conceded. "Moping would be better - that would be doing something. You're just... lifeless, Jacob. I think that's the word I want."

This accusation struck home. I sighed and tried to put some animation into my response.

"I'm sorry, Billy." My apology sounded a little flat, even to me. I'd thought I'd been fooling him.

"I don't want you to apologize."

I sighed. "Then tell me what you do want me to do."

"Jacob," he hesitated, scrutinizing my reaction to his next words. "You're not the first person to go through this kind of thing, you know."

I'm pretty sure none of the others had to suffer existence without their imprint but I wasn't going to say that "I know that."

"Listen, I think that - that maybe you need some help."

"Help?"

He paused, searching for the words again. "When your mother left," he began, frowning, "and took you with her." He inhaled deeply. "Well, that was a really bad time for me."

"I know," I mumbled.

"But I handled it," he pointed out. "You're not handling it. I waited, I hoped it would get better." He stared at me and I looked down quickly. "I think we both know it's not getting better."

"I'm fine."

He ignored me. "Maybe, well, maybe if you talked to someone about it. A professional."

"You want me to see a shrink?" My voice was a shade sharper as I realized what he was getting at.

"Maybe it would help."

"And maybe it wouldn't help one little bit."

I didn't know much about psychoanalysis, but I was pretty sure that it didn't work unless the subject was relatively honest. Sure, I could tell the truth - if I wanted to spend the rest of my life in a padded cell.

He examined my obstinate expression, and switched to another line of attack.

"It's beyond me, Jacob. Maybe your sister - "

"The one that sent me away in the first place? That sister? What about her," I said in a flat voice.

His fist came down on the table again. "We both know what's really going on here, Jake, and it's not good for you." He took a deep breath. "It's been months. No calls, no letters, no contact. You can't keep waiting for him."

I glowered at him. This whole subject was utterly forbidden, as he was well aware.

"I'm not waiting for anything. I don't expect anything," I said in a low monotone.

"Jacob - ," Billy began, his voice thick.

"I have to get to school," I interrupted, standing up and yanking my untouched breakfast from the table. I dumped my bowl in the sink without pausing to wash it out. I couldn't deal with any more conversation.

"At least make plans with someone. It's been a while since you hung out with anyone not on the rez. What about that Mike fellow? You were close."

I strapped on my school bag, not meeting his eyes and I was out the front door before he could react. I hadn't talk to Mike or anyone for that matter in a while. The guys on the rez were different. They didn't like the Cullens therefore never speak about them. Mike on the other hand would ask too much questions. Questions I neither had nor wanted the answers for.

* * *

In my haste to get away from Billy, I ended up being one of the first ones to school. The plus side was that I got a really good parking spot. The downside was that I had free time on my hands, and I tried to avoid free time at all costs.

Quickly, before I could start thinking about Billy's accusations, I pulled out my Calculus book. I flipped it open to the section we should be starting today, and tried to make sense of it., I'd spent ten times the amount of time on Calculus than I'd ever spent on math before. As a result, I was managing to keep in the range of a low A. I knew Mr. Varner felt my improvement was all due to his superior teaching methods. And if that made him happy, I wasn't going to burst his bubble.

I forced myself to keep at it until the parking lot was full, and I ended up rushing to English. We were working on Animal Farm, an easy subject matter. I didn't mind communism; it was a welcome change from the exhausting romances that made up most of the curriculum. I settled into my seat, pleased by the distraction of Mr. Berty's lecture.

Time moved easily while I was in school. The bell rang all too soon. I started repacking my bag.

"Jake?"

I recognized Mike's voice, and I knew what his next words would be before he said them.

"Are you working tomorrow?"

I looked up. He was leaning across the aisle with an anxious expression. Every Friday he asked me the same question. Never mind that I hadn't taken so much as a sick day. Well, with one exception, months ago. But he had no reason to look at me with such concern. I was a model employee.

"Tomorrow is Saturday, isn't it?" I said.

"Yeah, it is," he agreed. "See you in Spanish." He waved once before turning his back. He didn't bother walking me to class anymore.

I trudged off to Calculus with a grim expression. This was the class where I sat next to Angela.

It had been weeks, maybe months, since Angela had even greeted me when I passed her in the hall. I knew I had offended her with my antisocial behavior.

With a sigh, I shoved the door open.

Mr. Varner gave me a dark look - he'd already started the lecture. I hurried to my seat. Angela didn't look up as I sat next to her.

This class flew by even faster than English and just like with Mike Angela walked off without any true acknowledgment towards me. Not that I could blame her.

* * *

Lunch was something. I no longer sat with the others. Instead at sat at what used to be the Cullen table except I sat there by myself. Today however was different.

"Do I know you?"

The guy opposite me was very pale with thick, dark brown hair and the bluest eyes you've ever seen. He had broad shoulders and at athletic build. He looked slightly familiar.

"The laws of human nature says you should." He said with a smile casually taking a bite of his pizza.

I was confused and my faced showed it. "I don't think I know you."

He smirked "I'm Beau," he held out his hand for me and I shook it tentatively "Beau Swan. Charlie's son."

That's why he looked familiar. "I thought you were in Phoenix or something like that."

"Yeah I was," he confirmed "But I moved here recently to hang with my dad for a bit."

"Really?"

"Yip. Been in Forks for about 4 months."

Which explains why I didn't notice. I hadn't really been Mr. observant. "Huh"

He laughed "You doing anything later?" he asked catching me off guard.

"What?"

"Are. You. Doing. Anything. Later?" he asked again saying the words slowly.

"Why? Does it matter?"

"It does because if you're free we could go to a movie or something."

"You're not my type." I said with a roll of my eye and moved to gather my tray.

"Billy's worried about you." He said effectively stopping me in my tracks "Your dad called my dad and then my dad demanded that I get you to do something other than go to school and go home and mope."

"Yeah? And what else did your dad tell you?" I asked defensively

"Hey, I don't know your life story. All I know is that everyone's been saying that you wasn't always such a downer and my dad asked me to talk to you. So, I want to know if you would go to the movies with me tonight? Just two sons of best friends forcibly hanging out like the universe intended."

"Well, I don't know."

"Do you have plans?"

"No"

"Good then I'll pick you up at six"

"I didn't say yes."

He laughed. "You didn't say no."

I had to give it to this guy. He was persistent. "Is there anything you'd like to see?"

"Well, there's that new romantic comedy that's getting great reviews. I want to see that one. And my dad just saw Dead End and he really liked it."

I grasped at the promising title. "What's that one about?"

"Zombies or something. He said it was the scariest thing he'd seen in years."

"That sounds perfect." I'd rather deal with real zombies than watch a romance.

"Okay I'll see you after school"

"I'll meet you at the border."

"The border? Why? I'll just come by your house."

It shocked me for a moment before it clicked. "Right. Yeah – my house. Um, see you after school."

Beau smiled at me with tentative friendliness before he left. My answering smile was just a little late, but I thought that he saw it.

* * *

The rest of the day passed quickly, my thoughts focused on planning for tonight. I had no idea why I agreed or if I even did agree but I knew Billy would be happy. I supposed Charlie's son was a safe bet. Plus it was a movie so only minimal interaction would be required.

The thick haze that blurred my days now was sometimes confusing. I was surprised when I found myself in my room, not clearly remembering the drive home from school or even opening the front door. But that didn't matter. Losing track of time was the most I asked from life.

I didn't fight the haze as I turned to my closet. The numbness was more essential in some places than in others. I barely registered what I was looking at as I slid the door aside to reveal the pile of rubbish on the left side of my closet, under the clothes I never wore.

My eyes did not stray toward the black garbage bag that held my present from that last birthday, did not see the shape of the master cylinder where it strained against the black plastic; I didn't think of how I's practically taken a baseball bat to the rabbit in undeserved anger.

I yanked the old sweatshirt I rarely used off the nail it hung from, and shoved the door shut.

Just then I heard a horn honking. I swiftly traded my wallet from my schoolbag into my pocket. I was in a hurry, as if rushing would somehow make the night pass more quickly.

I glanced at myself in the hall mirror before I opened the door, arranging my features carefully into a smile and trying to hold them there.

"I didn't think you'd show up." He said as soon as I got into the car.

"You came in front of my house" I said incredulously "Didn't really gave me an option."

He shrugged "You could've moved?"

"Between the end of school to now?"

"Anything is possible."

That drew a laugh from me. It was my first genuine laugh in a while. He had said it with such seriousness I couldn't help myself.

* * *

The movie was playing early, so Beau thought we should hit the twilight showing and eat later. I was happy to go along with whatever he wanted; after all, I was getting what I wanted - Billy off my back.

I kept Beau talking through the previews, so I could ignore them more easily. But I got nervous when the movie started. A young couple was walking along a beach, swinging hands and discussing their mutual affection with gooey falseness. Happiness was fake. Romance was fake. It was all fake. I resisted the urge to cover my ears and start humming. I had not bargained for a romance.

"I thought we picked the zombie movie," I hissed to Beau.

"This is the zombie movie."

"Then why isn't anyone getting eaten?" I asked desperately.

He looked at me with eyes that were almost a little too knowing. "I'm sure that part's coming,"

"I'm getting popcorn. Do you want any?"

"No, thanks."

Someone shushed us from behind.

I took my time at the concession counter, watching the clock and debating what percentage of a ninety-minute movie could be spent on romantic exposition. I decided ten minutes was more than enough, but I paused just inside the theater doors to be sure. I could hear horrified screams blaring from the speakers, so I knew I'd waited long enough.

"You missed everything," Beau murmured when I slid back into my seat. "Almost everyone is a zombie now."

"Long line." I offered him some popcorn. He took a handful and looked at me with those knowing eyes again.

The rest of the movie was comprised of gruesome zombie attacks and endless screaming from the handful of people left alive, their numbers dwindling quickly. I would have thought there was nothing in that to disturb me. But I felt uneasy, and I wasn't sure why at first.

It wasn't until almost the very end, as I watched a haggard zombie shambling after the last shrieking survivor, that I realized what the problem was. The scene kept cutting between the horrified face of the heroine, and the dead, emotionless face of her pursuer, back and forth as it closed the distance.

And I realized which one resembled me the most.

I stood up.

"Where are you going? There's, like, two minutes left," Beau hissed.

"I need a drink," I muttered as I raced for the exit.

I sat down on the bench outside the theater door and tried very hard not to think of the irony. But it was ironic, all things considered, that, in the end, I would wind up as a zombie. I hadn't seen that one coming.

It was depressing to realize that I wasn't the hero anymore, that my story was over.

Beau came out of the theater doors and hesitated, probably wondering where the best place was to search for me. When he saw me, she looked relieved.

"Was the movie too scary for you?" he asked as though he knew the answer.

"Yeah," I lied. "I guess I'm just a coward."

"That's funny." he frowned. "I didn't think you were scared - I was screaming all the time, but I didn't hear you scream once. So I didn't know why you left."

I shrugged. "Just scared."

He nodded and sat next to me. "What was her name?"

"What?" I asked caught off guard yet again.

"The girl who left you so messed up that you can't even watch a zombie movie without seeing the romance in it."

This guy was entirely was too perceptive. I considered lying but what was the point. "Edward" I whispered.

He nodded again "Where do you want to eat?" Beau asked abruptly changing the topic.

"I don't care."

"Okay. I'll take you home then"

"I thought we were going to eat?"

"I thought you didn't care?" he countered

"Touché"

We drove back in silence until we were nearing the reservation.

"His name was Brad." He said

"What?"

"My Edward. His name was Brad and he was a right asshole. But I loved him. A lot. And the bastard broke my heart and it damn near broke me. But I survived and so will you."

"I think my situation is a bit different." I spat. We were in front my house now

He shrugged "Like I said before. I don't know you're life story and you don't have to tell me but trust me. It gets better."

"You don't know my life story. We live in Forks and its small town mentality. You expect me to believe that?"

"I'm not one for gossip."

"Bullshit." I said and got out of the car, slamming the car door and bounding up the stairs to the front door.

He rolled down his window and leaned over "It gets better." And then he was gone.

Billy was waiting for me in the middle of the hall, his arms folded tight over his chest with his hands balled into fists.

"Hey, Billy," I said absentmindedly as I ducked around him, heading for my room. I'd been thinking about him for too long, and I wanted to be in my safe space before it caught up with me.

"Where have you been?" Billy demanded.

I looked at my dad, surprised. "I went to a movie in Port Angeles with Beau."

"Charlie's son?" he looked surprised

"Is there another Beau in this town? Is that okay? I was under the impression you wanted me to go out"

He studied my face, his eyes widening as if he saw something unexpected. "Yeah, that's fine. Did you have fun?"

"Sure," I said. "We watched zombies eat people. It was great."

His eyes narrowed.

"'Night, Billy."

He let me pass. I hurried to my room.

I lay in my bed a few minutes later, resigned as the pain finally made its appearance.

It was a crippling thing, this sensation that a huge hole had been punched through my chest, excising my most vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed gashes around the edges that continued to throb and bleed despite the passage of time. Rationally, I knew my lungs must still be intact, yet I gasped for air and my head spun like my efforts yielded me nothing. My heart must have been beating, too, but I couldn't hear the sound of my pulse in my ears; my hands felt blue with cold. I curled inward, hugging my ribs to hold myself together. I scrambled for my numbness, my denial, but it evaded me.

And yet, I found I could survive. I was alert, I felt the pain - the aching loss that radiated out from my chest, sending wracking waves of hurt through my limbs and head - but it was manageable. I could live through it. It didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I'd grown strong enough to bear it.

Whatever it was that had happened tonight - and whether it was the zombies, the adrenaline, or freaking Beau Swan that were responsible - it had woken me up.

For the first time in a long time, I didn't know what to expect in the morning.


	4. Some Things Change - Most Don't

**Chapter IV**

"Jacob, why don't you take off," Michael (Mike's uncle) suggested, his eyes focused off to the side, not really looking at me.

It was a slow afternoon at the garage. At the moment there were only two cars that were already finished and one walk in – a couple whose car had stalled - which was a simple repair

"I don't mind staying," I said. I still hadn't been able to sink back into my protective shell of numbness, and everything seemed oddly close and loud today, like I'd taken cotton out of my ears. I tried to tune out the laughing customers.

"I'm telling you," said the man with the orange beard that didn't match his dark brown hair. "I've seen grizzlies pretty close up in Yellowstone, but they had nothing on this brute." His hair was matted, and his clothes looked like they'd been on his back for more than a few days. Fresh from the mountains.

"Not a chance. Black bears don't get that big. The grizzlies you saw were probably cubs." The woman was tall and lean.

"Seriously, Jacob, as soon as these two leave, I'm closing the place down," he murmured.

"If you want me to go..." I shrugged.

"On all fours it was taller than you," the bearded man insisted while I gathered my things together. "Big as a house and pitch-black. I'm going to report it to the ranger here. People ought to be warned - this wasn't up on the mountain, mind you - this was only a few miles from the trailhead."

The woman laughed and rolled her eyes. "Let me guess - you were on your way in? Hadn't eaten real food or slept off the ground in a week, right?"

"Hey, uh, Michael, right?" the bearded man called, looking toward us. "Say, have there been any warnings around here recently - about black bears?"

"See you Monday," I mumbled laughing to myself. Black bears. More like Sam. Those guys were never really careful of who saw them. Not like people would believe it was wolves anyway. Bears – ha.

The doors slid open to let me out into the rain. I hunched over inside my jacket as I dashed for my truck. The rain hammering against my hood sounded unusually loud, too, but soon the roar of the engine drowned out everything else.

I didn't want to go back to Billy's empty house. Last night had been particularly brutal, and I had no desire to revisit the scene of the suffering. Even after the pain had subsided enough for me to sleep, it wasn't over. I always had nightmares now, every night. Not nightmares really, not in the plural, because it was always the same nightmare. You'd think I'd get bored after so many months, grow immune to it. But the dream never failed to horrify me, and only ended when I woke myself with screaming. Billy didn't come in to see what was wrong anymore, to make sure there was no intruder strangling me or something like that - he was used to it now.

My nightmare probably wouldn't even frighten someone else. Nothing jumped out and screamed, "Boo!" There were no zombies, no ghosts, no psychopaths. There was nothing, really. Only nothing. Just the endless maze of moss-covered trees, so quiet that the silence was an uncomfortable pressure against my eardrums. It was dark, like dusk on a cloudy day, with only enough light to see that there was nothing to see. I hurried through the gloom without a path, always searching, searching, searching, getting more frantic as the time stretched on, trying to move faster. Then there would come the point in my dream - and I could feel it coming now, but could never seem to wake myself up before it hit - when I couldn't remember what it was that I was searching for. When I realized that there was nothing to search for, and nothing to find. That there never had been anything more than just this empty, dreary wood, and there never would be anything more for me... nothing but nothing.

That was usually about when the screaming started.

I wasn't paying attention to where I was driving - just wandering through empty, wet side roads as I avoided the ways that would take me home - because I didn't have anywhere to go.

I wished I could feel numb again, but I couldn't remember how I'd managed it before. The nightmare was nagging at my mind and making me think about things that would cause me pain. I didn't want to remember the forest. Even as I shuddered away from the images, I felt my eyes fill with tears and the aching begin around the edges of the hole in my chest.

It will be as if I'd never existed. The words ran through my head. They were just words, soundless, like print on a page. Just words, but they ripped the hole wide open, and I stomped on the brake, knowing I should not drive while this incapacitated.

I curled over, pressing my face against the steering wheel and trying to breathe without lungs.

I wondered how long this could last. Maybe someday, years from now - if the pain would just decrease to the point where I could bear it - I would be able to look back on those few short months that would always be the best of my life. And, if it were possible that the pain would ever soften enough to allow me to do that, I was sure that I would feel grateful for as much time as he'd given me. More than I'd asked for, more than I'd deserved. Maybe someday I'd be able to see it that way.

But if the legends were to be trusted that is never going to be the case. This imprint will kill hole will never get any better. The raw edges will never heal. The damage was permanent and irreversible.

I held myself tightly together. As if he'd never existed, I thought in despair. What a stupid and impossible promise to make! He could steal my pictures and reclaim his gifts, but that didn't put things back the way they'd been before I'd met him. The physical evidence was the most insignificant part of the equation. I was changed, my insides altered almost past the point of recognition. Even my outsides looked different - my height, my muscles.

As if he'd never existed? That was insanity. It was a promise that he could never keep, a promise that was broken as soon as he'd made it.

I thumped my head against the steering wheel, trying to distract myself from the sharper pain.

I laughed humorlessly to myself, still gasping for air. I stared out the windshield for a long moment, my thoughts moving sluggishly - I couldn't seem to make those thoughts go anywhere. I got back on the road and drove to the reservation purely on instinct.

* * *

"Jacob!" I didn't even realize there was anyone on the steps of the house until he called my name. Beau's excited grin stretched wide across his face.

"Hey, Beau" I felt an unfamiliar surge of enthusiasm at his smile. I realized that I was pleased to see him. This knowledge surprised me. "What are you doing here?"

"Can't a friend drop by to say hi with no ulterior motives?" He stopped a few feet away from me so he wouldn't have to stretch his neck up to speak to me. "How the hell are you so tall?" he asked without really expecting an answer.

I shook my head and smiled and walked pass him to lead the way, twisting my hair in my hands as he walked. I pulled a rubber band from my hip pocket and wound it around the bundle. At some point I would have to cut my hair but I don't really want to.

"Hey, Billy," I called as I ducked to get through the front door. "Look who stopped by."

Billy was in the tiny square living room, a book in his hands. He set the book in his lap and wheeled himself forward.

"Well, what do you know! It's good to see you, Beau."

They shook hands.

"What brings you out here? Everything okay with Charlie?" Billy asked Beau.

"Yes, absolutely. I just wanted to see Jacob - Believe it or not with all the studying, we don't really get a chance to talk in school."

I snorted. That was one way to say that I've been basically avoiding people like they're the plague.

"Can you stay for dinner?" Billy was eager, too.

"No, I've got to feed Charlie, you know."

"I'll call him now," Billy suggested. "He's always invited."

He laughed to hide my discomfort. "It's not like you'll never see me again. I promise I'll be back again soon - so much you'll get sick of me." He wiggled his eyebrows at me and it took everything for me not to snort again.

Billy chuckled in response. "Okay, maybe next time." and then he rolled himself into the other room.

"So, Beau," I said pointedly "There must be a reason why you're here. What do you want to do?"

"Whatever. What would you usually do?"

I hesitated then decided on the truth. "Homework, eat, sleep"

He nodded not at all suprised "And what about B.E.?"

"B.E.?" I repeated confused.

He continued nodding "Before Edward. Before this mopy - none moping thing you have going on here, what would you usually do?"

A pang went through my heart at his name but I chose not to comment on it "I would work on the rabbit - my car."

"Cool. You fixing it?"

"More like rebuilding it. Yeah."

"How far did you get?"

"Pretty far."

"Missing parts?"

I sighed. I wasn't. Not anymore. Not since Emmett bought me the cylinder, but the cylinder reminded me of Emmett and Emmett reminded me of Edward. And Edward made my heart hurt - so the Rabbit remained unfinished.

I didn't answer Beau.

"I'd love to see your car." he said when he realized I wasn't going to answer.

"Okay. It's out back, in the garage."

A thick stand of trees and shrubbery concealed the garage from the house. The garage was no more than a couple of big preformed sheds that had been bolted together with their interior walls knocked out. Under this shelter, raised on cinder blocks, was the almost completed automobile.

"That's a 1986 Volkswagen isn't it?" he asked and I nodded.

"You know your cars. It's a classic."

"Jacob, what do you know about motorcycles?" he asked changing the topic.

I shrugged. "Some. This guy on the rez Embry has a dirt bike. I work on it sometimes. Why?"

"Well, I recently acquired a couple of bikes, and they're not in the greatest condition. I wonder if you could get them running?"

I was looking for a new project since my time was no longer occupied by the Rabbit. "I could give it a try."

"I'll pay you," he continued.

"No. I don't want your money. You could just help me."

"I know jack shit about mechanics. I'd be more of a hindrance than a help"

"Well I'm still not taking your money."

"Well... how about a trade, then. I only need one bike - and I'll need lessons, too. So how about this? I'll give you the other bike, and then you can teach me."

"You're going to just give me a bike?" I said incredulously.

"Yeah why not."

"You expect me to believe that you randomly decided that out of everyone in this town you were going to see if I could fix the bikes instead of just going to a mechanic."

"You are a mechanic."

"Bullshit" I called his lie

"Ok. Full disclosure?"

"That'll be nice." I freaking hated lies

"I like you and you seem hell bent on ignoring everyone. And I thought the movie was a good idea but obviously it wasn't. And before you get all defensive I'm not trying to date you or anything. All I want is to be your friend but like I said you've been so anti-human contact. So I may have asked around to see if I could find out your interests and it may have been a common consensus that you love to fix cars and shit. So, I may have went out and looked for something to buy and I found the motorcycles."

"You bought motorcycles for me to fix?"

"Actually I got these for free so I hope you could fix them."

"Who the hell is just giving away motorcycles?"

"You know the Marks boys?" I nodded "They had them in the yard and when I asked how much the younger one told me they don't work and I could just take it. His mom was hoping they'd get picked up by the garbage."

I shook my head again. This was the nicest thing anyone had done for me in a while. And I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a project after school and to stop my mopy, non-moping ways. I nodded resigned " When are you going to bring them down?"

"They're in my truck now," he admitted.

"Oh. So you just knew I was going to agree huh." I smiled

"A guy can hope." he smiled back.

I unloaded the bikes swiftly from the truck bed, wheeling them one by one into the shrubbery.

"Dude!" Beau exclaimed "How much do you lift? Those things are heavy. I had to get Marks and his dad to help load them."

I laughed "I don't work out. It's just natural strength." Well as natural as being a shifter is.

He didn't look like he believed me. To be honest, I wouldn't believe me either but he didn't question it further.

"These aren't half bad," I appraised as we pushed them through the cover of the trees. "This one here will actually be worth something when I'm done - it's an old Harley Sprint."

"That one's yours, then."

"Are you sure?"

"Do I look like a motorcycle guy?" I laughed because no, he didn't "Absolutely it's yours."

"These are going to take some cash, though," I said, frowning down at the blackened metal. "We'll have to save up for parts first."

"We nothing," he disagreed. "If you're doing this for free, I'll pay for the parts."

"I don't know..." I muttered.

"I've got some money saved. Trust me I'll cover it."

I just nodded not in the mood to fight it.

I started pulling the first bike - the red one, which was destined for Beau - to pieces immediately. I opened up the passenger door of the Rabbit so that he could sit on the seat instead of the ground. While I worked, Beau chattered happily, needing only the lightest of nudges from me to keep the conversation rolling. Then he started asking me questions about myself. Most of them I had no problem answering. Then he asked about my friends and it made me wonder if I still had any.

Yet I mentioned Mike. He was surprised since he hadn't seen me and Mike talk all that much. I just nodded but didn't comment further. I mentioned Quil and Embry as well.

"Quil and Embry?" he interrupted. "Those are unusual names."

I chuckled. "Quil's is a hand-me-down, and I think Embry got named after a soap opera star. I can't say anything, though. They fight dirty if you start on their names - they'll tag team you."

"Good friends." I raised one eyebrow.

I snorted "Yeah."

"You don't sound so convinced"

I laughed humourlessly "No they are. I just haven't been the best company lately. Things have been ..." I struggled for the word before I settled on one "Strained"

"Hey, well you're talking to people again. Before you know it your best buddies will be back."

Just then a call echoed in the distance. "Jacob?" someone shouted.

"Is that Billy?" he asked.

"No." I was surprised at whose voice it was "Speak of the devil," I mumbled, "and the devil shall appear."

"Jake? Are you out here?" The shouting voice was closer now.

"Yeah!" JI shouted back, and sighed.

We waited through the short silence until two tall, dark-skinned boys strolled around the corner into the shed.

"Hey, guys," I greeted them halfheartedly.

"Hey, Jake," Quil said the same time Embry shouted "He LIVES!"

I rolled my eyes at both of them as they turned their attention to Beau. "Hi, there." they said at the same time

"Quil, Embry - this is my friend, Beau." I said pointing each of them out

"You look familiar" Quil said squinting at him. "Are you Charlie's kid?"

"That's right," Beau confirmed, shaking hands with him.

"I'm Quil Ateara," he announced before releasing Beau's hand.

"Nice to meet you, Quil."

"Hey, Beau. I'm Embry, Embry Call - you probably already figured that out, though." Embry smiled a shy smile and waved with one hand, which he then shoved in the pocket of his jeans.

I nodded. "Nice to meet you, too."

"So what are you guys doing?" Quil asked, still looking at Beau.

"Plotting to take over the world." I said sarcastically "You?"

"Oooo sarcastic Jacob is back" Embry laugh "I've missed him"

I ignored the last part "What are you two losers doing here?"

"Well" Quil started "Sam called Billy to ask if you were going to ..." he paused realizing Beau was in the room. Sam called to ask if I was going to come to the pack meeting. He called every week. I was rightful Alpha but since I had gone back to not phasing the mantle fell on him. He didn't appreciate being kept in limbo - not knowing if I would take back the Alpha spot without notice. Each time he called I was sleeping and Billy would've told him as much. This time though I was with Beau and it seemed like Billy told him that too "come to the thing. And Billy said you had a friend over."

"And we didn't realized you had friends." Embry continued "Ever since..." he trailed off. "So we had to come see the miracle for ourselves

"Well I do have friends and you two are dicks." I deadpanned

"But you love us" Quil laughed

"What are you really doing?" Embry asked

"Jacob is going to fix up these bikes," Beau explained. And bikes seemed to be the magic word. Both boys started to examine my project, drilling me with educated questions.

Then I remembered Beau and I looked up, apologetic. "We're boring you, aren't we?"

"Naw. I just have no clue what you guys are talking about" he laughed. "I just have to go cook dinner for Charlie."

"Oh... well, I'll finish taking these apart tonight and figure out what more we'll need to get started rebuilding them. When do you want to work on them again?" I found myself wanting to spend more time with him.

"Could I come back tomorrow?" he asked and I was glad. Sundays were the bane of my existence. There was never enough homework to keep me busy.

Quil nudged Embry's arm and they exchanged grins. I rolled my eyes - they were such children.

"Alright. Tomorrow it is"

"If you make a list, we can go shop for parts," he suggested.

"I'm still not sure I should let you pay for everything."

He shook my head. "No way. I'm bankrolling this party. You just have to supply the labor and expertise."

Embry rolled his eyes at Quil.

"That doesn't seem right," I insited

"Jake, if I took these to a mechanic, how much would he charge me?" he pointed out.

He wasn't wrong. He might end up paying more than the bikes were worth "Okay, you're getting a deal."

"Not to mention the riding lessons," he added.

Quil grinned widely at Embry and whispered "Jacob's got a new boyfriend" and I hoped that Beau didn't hear him. My hand flashed out to smack the back of Quil's head. "That's it, get out,"

"No, really, I have to go," he protested, heading for the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jacob."

As soon as he was out of sight, Quil and Embry chorus, "Wooooo!"

Before they could even blink I turned around and punched them both causing them to yell out "ouch" and a "hey!"

"If either of you set so much as one toe on my land tomorrow..." I threaten.

All they did was laugh.

* * *

As I walked into my room I noticed something different. I wasn't numb anymore. Tonight would, no doubt, be as horrific as last night. I lay down on my bed and curled into a ball in preparation for the onslaught. I squeezed my eyes shut and... the next thing I next I knew, it was morning.

I stared at the pale silver light coming through my window, stunned.

For the first time in more than four months, I'd slept without dreaming. Dreaming or screaming. I couldn't tell which emotion was stronger - the relief or the shock.

I lay still in my bed for a few minutes, waiting for it to come back. Because something must be coming. If not the pain of the rejected imprint, then the numbness. I waited, but nothing happened. I felt more rested than I had in a long time.

I didn't trust this to last. It was a slippery, precarious edge that I balanced on, and it wouldn't take much to knock me back down. Just glancing around my room with these suddenly clear eyes - noticing how strange it looked, too tidy, like I didn't live here at all - was dangerous.

I pushed that thought from my mind, and concentrated, as I got dressed, on the fact that I was going to see Beau again today. The thought made me feel almost... hopeful. Maybe it would be the same as yesterday. Maybe... but I wouldn't trust this to last, either. Wouldn't trust it to be the same - so easy - as yesterday. I wasn't going to set myself up for disappointment like that.

At breakfast, Billy was being careful, too. He tried to hide his scrutiny, keeping his eyes on his eggs until he thought I wasn't looking.

"What are you up to today?" he asked, eyeing a loose thread on the edge of his cuff like he wasn't paying much attention to my answer.

"Beau is coming over again."

He nodded without looking up. "Oh," he said.

"Do you mind?" I pretended to worry.

He glanced up quickly, a hint of panic in his eyes. "No, no! You go ahead. Harry and I was going watch the game with Charlie anyway."

I nodded "Kay."

Outside, the rain came down like water slopped from a bucket but I could still hear Beau coming up the driveway. Before he killed the engine, I went out with a huge black umbrella and held it over his door while he opened it.

"Chivalry is not dead" he said with a smile

"Apparently not" I replied. Effortlessly, without a conscious command to the muscles around my lips, my answering smile spread across my face. A strange feeling of warmth bubbled up in my throat, despite the icy rain splattering on my cheeks. "Hi, Beau."

"Hi Jacob" he smiled "So where to, Mr. Goodwrench?"

I pulled a folded paper out of my pocket and smoothed it out. "We'll start at the dump first, see if we can get lucky. This could get a little expensive," I warned him. "Those bikes are going to need a lot of help before they'll run again."

He pulled his checkbook out, fanned himself with it, and rolled his eyes at my worries. "We're covered."

It was a very strange kind of day. I enjoyed myself. Even at the dump, in the slopping rain and ankle-deep mud. I wondered at first if it was just the aftershock of losing the numbness, but I didn't think that was enough of an explanation.

I was beginning to think it was mostly Beau. It wasn't just that he was always so happy to see me, or that he didn't watch me out of the corner of his eye, waiting for me to do something that would mark me as crazy or depressed. It was nothing that related to me at all.

It was Beau himself. Beau was simply a perpetually happy person, and he carried that happiness with him like an aura, sharing it with whoever was near him. Like an earthbound sun, whenever someone was within his gravitational pull, Beaau warmed them. It was natural, a part of who he was. No wonder I was so eager to see him.

It just so happened that we did get lucky at the dump. I was very excited about several of the parts I found and Beau said he was just impressed that I could tell what they were supposed to be.

From there we went to the Checker Auto Parts down in Hoquiam. In his truck, it was more than a two hour drive south on the winding freeway, but the time passed easily. He chattered about his friends and his school, and I found myself asking questions, not even pretending, truly curious to hear what he had to say.

"I'm doing all the talking," Beau complained after a long story about his old school in Phoenix "Why don't you take a turn? What's going on in La Push? It has to be more exciting than Forks."

"Wrong," You know except for the fact that most of the reservation were shifters. "There's really nothing. Your stories are a lot more interesting than mine."

He frowned. "I find that hard to believe."

I laughed. He had no idea "Take my word for it."

We bantered like that till Hoquiam. We found everything left on his list, and I felt confident that I could make a lot of progress with our haul.

As soon as we had everything laid out when we got back on the plastic floor next to my toolbox, I went right to work, still talking and laughing with Beau while my fingers combed expertly through the metal pieces in front of me.

I had missed this. Sure I was working on cars in the garage at my job but it was different when it was your own project and there was no time constraints.

Plus it wasn't too bad to hear Beau commenting that my skill with my hands was fascinating - insert innuendo here.

Quil and Embry did not show up, so maybe my threat yesterday had been taken seriously.

The day passed too quickly. It got dark outside the mouth of the garage before I was expecting it, and then we heard Billy calling for us.

Beau jumped up to help me put things away, hesitating because he wasn't sure what he should touch.

"Just leave it," I said. "I'll work on it later tonight."

"Don't forget your schoolwork or anything," he said slyly as if he didn't know I was acing all my classes

"Beau?"

Both our heads snapped up as Charlie's familiar voice wafted through the trees, sounding closer than the house.

"What's Charlie doing here?" he muttered, then "Coming!" he yelled toward the house.

"Let's go." I smiled. I snapped the light off, and then a second later I remebered that Beau's eye site would not be as good as mine and he was probably blind in the dark. Without thinking about it I grabbed his hand and towed him out of the garage and through the trees, my feet finding the familiar path easily. His hand was rough, and very warm.

Despite the path, we were both tripping over our feet in the darkness. So we were also both laughing when the house came into view.

He looked at me with a smirk and I realized I was still holding his hand. I immediately let go but was still laughing.

"Shut up!" I said through my laughter

"I didn't say anything" he shrugged and smiled with fake innocence.

Charlie was standing under the little back porch, and Billy was sitting in the doorway behind them.

"Hey, Dad," he said at the same time I said "Hey Billy"

Charlie stared at me with wide eyes that flashed down letting me know that he saw we were just holding hands. I wonder how much my dad had told Charlie about the whole 'he who shall not be named' situation.

"Billy invited us for dinner," Charlie said to us in an absentminded tone.

"My super secret recipe for spaghetti. Handed down for generations," Billy said gravely.

I snorted. "I don't think Ragu's actually been around that long."

The house was crowded. Harry Clearwater was there, too, with his family - his wife, Sue and Leah and Seth. I hadn't talked to Leah since but Seth was like a little brother to me. I knew he idolized me. He was also the youngest in the pack. Seth was just fourteen.

There were too many of us for the kitchen table, so Charlie and Harry brought chairs out to the yard, and we ate spaghetti off plates on our laps in the dim light from Billy's open door. The men talked about the game, and Harry and Charlie made fishing plans. Sue teased her husband about his cholesterol and tried, unsuccessfully, to shame him into eating something green and leafy. I talked mostly to Beau and Seth, who interrupted eagerly whenever I seemed in danger of forgetting him. I had no problem forgetting Leah. Charlie watched me, trying to be inconspicuous about it, but I could see his cautious eyes.

It was loud and sometimes confusing as everyone talked over everyone else, and the laughter from one joke interrupted the telling of another. I didn't have to speak often, but I smiled a lot, and only because I felt like it.

I didn't want the day to end.

This was Washington, though, and the inevitable rain eventually broke up the party; Billy's living room was much too small to provide an option for continuing the get-together. Harry had driven Charlie down, so Beau took him back home in his truck.

When everyone was gone I was suddenly nervous. I didn't want to go to sleep. The warmth of Beau's presence was fading and, in its absence, the anxiety grew stronger. I was sure I wouldn't get away with two peaceful nights of sleep in a row.

To put bedtime off, I checked my e-mail; there was a new message from Rachel.

She wrote about her day, and apologized for not being able to take me in when mom died. She wrote about how she missed me and Billy and how she missed the reservation and that she was planning to visit sometime even though she didn't know when.

And I noticed that the whole thing read like a journal entry, rather than a letter to someone else. Remorse flooded through me, leaving an uncomfortable sting behind. Some brother I was.

I wrote back to her quickly, commenting on each part of her letter, volunteering information of my own - describing the spaghetti party at Billy's and how I felt building useful things out of small pieces of metal.

I stayed up extra late after that, finishing more homework than strictly necessary. But neither sleep deprivation nor the time spent with Beau - being almost happy in a shallow kind of way - could keep the dream away for two nights in a row.

* * *

I woke shuddering, my scream muffled by the pillow. Stupid imprint.

As the dim morning light filtered through the fog outside my window, I lay still in bed and tried to shake off the dream.

Billy stared at me during breakfast, and I tried to ignore him. I supposed I deserved it. I couldn't expect him not to worry. It would probably be weeks before he stopped watching for the return of the zombie, and I would just have to try to not let it bother me. After all, I would be watching for the return of the zombie, too. Two days was hardly long enough to call me cured.

School was the opposite. Now that I was paying attention, it was clear that no one was watching here.

I remembered the first day I'd come to Forks High School - how desperately I'd wished that I could turn gray, fade into the wet concrete of the sidewalk like an oversized chameleon. It seemed I was getting that wish answered, a year late.

It was like I wasn't there. Even my teachers' eyes slid past my seat as if it were empty.

I listened all through the morning, hearing once again the voices of the people around me. I tried to catch up on what was going on, but the conversations were so disjointed that I gave up.

Mike didn't look up when I sat down next to him in Calculus.

"Hey, Mike," I said with put-on nonchalance. "How was your weekend?"

She looked at me with suspicious eyes. Could she still be angry? Or was she just too impatient to deal with a crazy person?

"Super," he said, turning back to his book.

"That's good," I mumbled.

The figure of speech cold shoulder seemed to have some literal truth to it. I could feel the warm air blowing from the floor vents, but I was still too cold. I took the jacket off the back of my chair and put it on again.

My fourth hour class got out late, and the lunch table I always sat at was full by the time I arrived. Mike was there, Jessica and Angela, Beau, Conner, Tyler, Eric and Lauren. Katie Marshall, the redheaded junior, was sitting with Eric, and Austin Marks - one of the boys with the motorcycles - was next to her. I wondered how long they'd been sitting here, unable to remember if this was the first day or something that was a regular habit.

I was beginning to get annoyed with myself. I might as well have been packed in Styrofoam peanuts through the last semester.

No one looked up when I sat down next to Mike, even though the chair squealed stridently against the linoleum as I dragged it back.

I tried to catch up with the conversation.

Beau and Conner were talking sports and Mike looked like he swallowed a lemon obviously trying to ignore me.

"Where's Ben today?" Lauren was asking Angela. I perked up, interested. I wondered if that meant Angela and Ben were still together.

I barely recognized Lauren. She'd cut off all her blond, corn-silk hair - now she had a pixie cut so short that the back was shaved like a boy. What an odd thing for her to do. I wished I knew the reason behind it. Did she get gum stuck in it? Did she sell it? Had all the people she was habitually nasty to caught her behind the gym and scalped her? I decided it wasn't fair for me to judge her now by my former opinion. For all I knew, she'd turned into a nice person.

"Ben's got the stomach flu," Angela said in her quiet, calm voice. "Hopefully it's just some twenty-four hour thing. He was really sick last night."

Angela had changed her hair, too. She'd grown out her layers.

"What did you two do this weekend?" Jessica asked, not sounding as if she cared about the answer.

"We were going to have a picnic Saturday, actually, but... we changed our minds," Angela said. There was an edge to her voice that caught my interest.

Jess, not so much. "That's too bad," she said, about to launch into her story. But I wasn't the only one who was paying attention.

"What happened?" Lauren asked curiously.

"Well," Angela said, seeming more hesitant than usual, though she was always reserved, "we drove up north, almost to the hot springs - there's a good spot just about a mile up the trail. But, when we were halfway there... we saw something."

"Saw something? What?" Lauren's pale eyebrows pulled together. Even Jess seemed to be listening now.

"I don't know," Angela said. "We think it was a bear. It was black, anyway, but it seemed... too big."

Lauren snorted. "Oh, not you, too!" Her eyes turned mocking, and I decided I didn't need to give her the benefit of the doubt. Obviously her personality had not changed as much as her hair. "Tyler tried to sell me that one last week."

"You're not going to see any bears that close to the resort," Jessica said, siding with Lauren.

"Really," Angela protested in a low voice, looking down at the table. "We did see it."

Lauren snickered. This was getting insane. The guys needed to be careful of who saw them. I mean the fact that quilutes are shifter is supposed to be a secret so why the hell were they shifting where anyone could see.

I decided to defend Angela without actually giving away what I knew "No, she's right," I threw in impatiently. "We had a hiker in the garage just Saturday who saw the bear, too, Angela. He said it was huge and black and just outside of town.

There was a moment of silence. Every pair of eyes at the table turned to stare at me in shock except Beau. The new girl, Katie, had her mouth hanging open like she'd just witnessed an explosion. Nobody moved.

"What?" I asked eating a slice of pizza as if I didn't know they were staring at me because I had just actually spoken actual words.

Everyone else looked away, too, except for Mike and Angela. Angela smiled at me tentatively, and I hurried to return the smile.

"So, what did you do this weekend, Jacob?" Mike asked, curious, but oddly wary.

Everyone but Lauren looked back, waiting for my response.

"I basically hung out with Beau all weekend. We went to a movie Friday and then hung out at the rez the other days"

The eyes flickered to Beau - who was nodding in agreement - and back to me.

"What movie did you see?" Mike asked, starting to smile.

"Dead End - the one with the zombies." I grinned in encouragement. Maybe some of the damage I'd done in these past zombie months was reparable.

"I heard that was scary. Did you think so?" Mike was eager to continue the conversation.

"Jake had to leave at the end, he was so freaked," Beau inserted with a sly smile.

I let out a surprised laugh that he didn't spill the real reason why I freaked. "Screw you Swan."

"I wish" he muttered but I heard and I couldn't help but burst out into hysterics especially when Beau blushed as he realized I'd heard him.

Mike didn't stop asking me questions till lunch was over. Gradually, the others were able to start up their own conversations again, though they still looked at me a lot. Angela talked mostly to Mike and me, and, when I got up to dump my tray, she followed.

"Thanks," she said in a low voice when we were away from the table.

"For what?"

"Speaking up, sticking up for me."

"No problem."

She looked at me with concern, but not the offensive, maybe-she's-lost-it kind. "Are you okay?"

"Not completely," I admitted. "But I'm a little bit better."

"I'm glad," she said. "I've missed you."

Lauren and Jessica strolled by us then, and I heard Lauren whisper loudly, "Oh, joy Jake's back."

Angela rolled her eyes at them, and smiled at me in encouragement.

I sighed It was like I was starting all over again.

"What's today's date?" I wondered suddenly.

"It's January nineteenth."

"Hmm."

"What is it?" Angela asked.

"It was a year ago yesterday that I had my first day here," I mused.

"Nothing's changed much," Angela muttered, looking after Lauren and Jessica.

"I know, I agreed I was just thinking the same thing."


	5. Sort of _______?

**Chapter V**

I wasn't sure what the hell I was doing here. Was I trying to push myself back into the zombie stupor? Had I turned masochistic - developed a taste for torture? I should have just stayed at the rez. This was not a healthy thing to do.

But I continued to drive slowly down the overgrown lane, twisting through the trees that arched over me like a green, living tunnel. My hands were shaking, so I tightened my grip on the steering wheel.

I knew that part of the reason I did this was the nightmare, now that I was really awake, the nothingness of the dream gnawed on my nerves, a dog worrying a bone.

There was something to search for. Unattainable and impossible, uncaring and distracted... but he was out there, somewhere. I had to believe that. It was the only possible reason I was still alive and this pain was so consuming.

The other part was the strange sense of repetition I'd felt at school today, the coincidence of the date. The feeling that I was starting over - perhaps the way my first day would have gone if I'd really been the most unusual person in the cafeteria that afternoon.

The words ran through my head, tonelessly, like I was reading them rather than hearing them spoken:

It will be as if I'd never existed.

The thick, almost jungle-like growth crawled slowly past my windows. The drive wound on and on. I started to go faster, getting edgy. How long had I been driving? Shouldn't I have reached the house yet? The lane was so overgrown that it did not look familiar.

What if I couldn't find it? I shivered. What if there was no tangible proof at all?

Then there was the break in the trees that I was looking for, only it was not so pronounced as before. The flora here did not wait long to reclaim any land that was left unguarded. The tall ferns had infiltrated the meadow around the house, crowding against the trunks of the cedars, even the wide porch. It was like the lawn had been flooded - waist-high - with green, feathery waves.

And the house was there, but it was not the same. Though nothing had changed on the outside, the emptiness screamed from the blank windows. It was creepy. For the first time since I'd seen the beautiful house, it looked like a fitting haunt for vampires.

I hit the brakes, looking away. I was afraid to go farther.

Slowly, I approached the barren, vacant face slowly, my truck rumbling out a comforting roar behind me. I stopped when I got to the porch stairs, because there was nothing here. No lingering sense of their presence... of his presence. The house was solidly here, but it meant little. Its concrete reality would not counteract the nothingness of the nightmares.

I didn't go any closer. I didn't want to look in the windows. I wasn't sure which would be harder to see. If the rooms were bare, echoing empty from floor to ceiling, that would certainly hurt.

But wouldn't it be worse if there were no change? If the couches sat just as I'd last seen them, the paintings on the walls - worse still, the piano on its low platform? It would be second only to the house disappearing all together, to see that there was no physical possession that tied them in anyway. That everything remained, untouched and forgotten, behind them.

Just like me.

I turned my back on the gaping emptiness and hurried to my truck. I nearly ran. I was anxious to be gone, to get back to the human world. I felt hideously empty.

I sped back to the rez as quickly as I had left.

Beau was waiting for me. My chest seemed to relax as soon as I saw him, making it easier to breathe.

"Hey, Jake," he called.

I smiled in relief. "Hey, Beau,"

"Let's get to work," Beau said in a low but eager voice.

I was somehow able to laugh. " Yeah cause you've been working so hard" I deadpanned "You seriously aren't sick of me yet?" I wondered. He must think to himself how desperate I was for company.

Beau led the way around the house as though he owned the place.

"Nope. Not yet."

"Please let me know when I start getting on your nerves. I don't want to be a pain."

"Okay." He laughed, a throaty sound. "I wouldn't hold your breath for that, though."

When we walked into the garage,he was shocked to see the red bike standing up, looking like a motorcycle rather than a pile of jagged metal.

"Jake, you're amazing," he breathed.

I laughed again. "I get obsessive when I have a project." I shrugged. "If I had any brains I'd drag it out a little bit."

"Why?"

I looked down, pausing for so long that the constant pain in my chest intensified. Edward would forever be etched in my soul but Edward wasn't here and Beau -he made it better. Made me forget the pain for a little while, "If I told you that I couldn't fix these bikes, what would you say?"

He didn't answer right away, either, and he glanced up to check my expression.

"I would say... that's too bad, but I'll bet we could figure out something else to do. If we got really desperate, we could even do homework."

I smiled, and my shoulders relaxed. I sat down next to the bike and picked up a wrench. "So you think you'll still come over when I'm done, then?"

"Is that what you meant?" he shook my head. "I guess I am taking advantage of your very underpriced mechanical skills. But as long as you let me come over, I'll be here."

"Hoping to see Quil again?" I teased.

"You caught me."

I chuckled. "You really like spending time with me?" I asked, marveling.

"Very, very much. And I'll prove it. I have to work tomorrow, but Wednesday we'll do something non mechanical."

"Like what?"

"I have no idea. We can go to my place so you won't be tempted to be obsessive."

"Obsessive is good."

"Obsessive is not responsible" he retaliated

"Okay then - Here's to responsibility," I toasted. "At least twice a week."

"And recklessness every day in between," he emphasized.

He grinned and touched his can to mine.

* * *

School Tuesday had its ups and downs. Angela and Mike seemed ready to welcome me back with open arms - to kindly overlook my few months of aberrant behavior.

Mike was animated and chatty . It was like he'd stored up the semester's worth of talk, and it was all spilling out now. I found that I was able to smile and laugh with him.

"So, Beau" Mike said happily.

"What about Beau?"

"You guys have been getting close."

"We're friends."

"Friends?" he deadpanned

"Yes friends."

He stared at me in disbelief

"What?!" I exclaimed "We're friends."

"I call bullshit."

"Mike ..."

"No! Don't Mike me. I haven't seen you this happy since he devil left."

"He devil?" I laughed

"You know who I mean." he insisted "Look you and Beau are cute together and you can tell me if you're in a relationship with him."

"But I'm not."

"Jake ..."

"Don't Jake me" I teased and he pushed me playfully.

"I'm being serious." the smile went off his face "Look I don't know exactly what happened because you won't tell me. But obviously you and he devil didn't part amicablely. He dumped you I'm assuming and he left. You're allowed to be happy. Beau makes you happy."

I sighed "I wish it was that easy Mike."

"It is that easy. You like Beau and a blind man can see Beau likes you. How much easier does it have to be?"

"Look I'll admit it. I like Beau ..."

"THANK YOU!" he interrupted throwing his hands up in triumph

"BUT!" I said just as loudly as him "I love Edward. I will always love Edward. No one - not even Beau - can change that."

"Edward is an ass and you need to get over him."

"Mike..."

"No listen Jake. I hear you okay. You can't help how you feel. But I'm just saying give Beau a chance. If it happens, it happens."

I shrugged in resignation "Alright"

"Thank you for agreeing. In the long run you'd find it easier to just agree with everything I say."

I laughed. "Whatever you say Mike"

"There you go. You're getting the hang of it." he smiled "Now - and I'm telling you not asking- weekend, we're going to a movie."

"Who's we?"

"All of us. We'll invite the entire gang."

"Yeah yeah." I rolled my eyes and walked to the truck leaving a laughing Mike behind.

The rest of the week passed similarly and Friday evening came quickly.

"Yo Jake," Beau called before I could get into my truck. "What time do you want me to come up tomorrow?"

I smiled "I'll call you first, okay?"

"Sure." he frowned confused and it made me smile wider.

The next morning I wasted no time calling Beau

"Hello?" he asked breathlessly.

"Beau," I said trying to keep the excitement out of my voice.

"Hey, Jake." he answered recognizing my voice

"I believe that... we have a date with danger"

It took him a second before I got it. "They're done? I can't believe it! No frigging way"

"Yeah, they run and everything."

"Jacob, you are absolutely, without a doubt, the most talented and wonderful person I know." he laughed. "I'm on my way up!"

Beau was here faster than I thought was possible

"Someone's excited" I laughed "Ready?"

"Yeah," he said with the same enthusiasm as me

I loaded the bikes into the bed of the truck with ease, laying them carefully on their sides so they didn't show.

"Let's go," I said. "I know the perfect spot."

We drove south out of town. The dirt road wove in and out of the forest - sometimes there was nothing but trees, and then there would suddenly be a breathtaking glimpse of the Pacific Ocean, reaching to the horizon, dark gray under the clouds. We were above the shore, on top of the cliffs that bordered the beach here and the view seemed to stretch on forever.

I was driving slowly, so that I could safely stare out across the ocean now and then, as the road wound closer to the sea cliffs. Beau was chattering on about everything and anything, so I wasn't paying close attention.

"Oh my God!" he suddenly exclaimed.

"What?" I said confused at his sudden outburst.

"That guy - he just jumped off the cliff! Why didn't they stop him? We've got to call an ambulance!"

I laughed, and he spun to stare at me wildly.

"They're just cliff diving, Beau. Recreation. La Push doesn't have a mall, you know."

"Cliff diving?" he repeated, dazed. He stared in disbelief as a second figure stepped to the edge, paused, and then very gracefully leaped into space. He fell for what seemed like an eternity to me, finally cutting smoothly into the dark gray waves below.

"Wow. It's so high." he slid back into his seat, still staring wide-eyed at the two remaining divers. "It must be a hundred feet."

"Well, yeah, most of them start jumping from lower down, that rock that juts out from the cliff about halfway. Most people jump from there" I pointed out his window. The place I indicated did seem much more reasonable. "The rest of us on the other hand, are insane."

"You jump off the cliff?" he hadn't missed the "us."

"Sure, sure." I shrugged and grinned. "It's fun. A little scary, kind of a rush."

"What if you get hurt."

I laughed again. I'd come to realize being a shifter also meant I healed quickly. Even if I did get hurt I'd be healed before the end of the day "I won't"

"Who's the rest of this crazy us?"

"Me, Embry, Quil, Sam, Paul, Jared, Seth." You know just the shifters

"Seth!" he said alarmed "He's just a kid."

"Don't worry about Seth. He's stronger than he looks."

"Jake, you have to take me cliff diving."

I frowned back at him, my face disapproving. "Beau, you just wanted to call an ambulance for Sam," he reminded me.

"I want to try," he insisted,

"Fine but not today, all right? Can we at least wait for a warmer day?"

"Okay, fine," he agreed. "But I want to go soon."

"Soon." I rolled my eyes. "Sometimes you're a little strange, Beau. Do you know that?"

He sighed. "Yes."

"And we're not jumping off the top."

"Fine," he agreed. "Not the first time, anyway."

Now I sighed. "Are we going to try out the bikes or not?"

"Okay, okay," he said.

We started down the road again.

"So is it just you seven who jump off from the top?" he wondered.

"Yip." I said "The La Push gang."

"You have a gang?" he asked. I realized that he sounded impressed.

I laughed once at my reaction. "Not like that. I swear, we're like hall monitors gone bad. We don't start fights, we keep the peace. Like this one time, there was this guy from up somewhere by the Makah rez, big guy too, scary-looking. Well, word got around that he was selling meth to kids, and we ran him off our land. We're all about our land, and tribe pride... it's kind of ridiculous.."

"I didn't know you were into the tribe that much. I kind of got the impression that you were a ciy boy at heart.

"You're not wrong. I'm sort of like an honorary member. I'm part of the gang but not really cause I don't really want to be. It's not bad or anything it just - It's kind of hard to explain."

"You don't like them very much."

He said it as a statement and I was surprised he even noticed. "Does it show?" he asked sarcastically. "It's not that I don't like them. Embry and Quil are my best friends here and Seth is like a little brother. But I just don't agree with all their beliefs."

"But you're still like an honorary member of the gang."

"Yes."

"That sounds very..." he struggled to find the right word "Complicated."

I scoffed "You have no idea."

"Well... It doesn't sound like you guys are doing anything bad."

"Well I supposed not" Except hating on every vampire who ever lived. But that's okay cause we're enemies - I though to myself sarcastically

I pulled over and cut the engine. My ears rang in the silence that followed. We both got out, and I headed around to the back to get the bikes.

I smiled as I pushed the red bike to his side. " Are you ready for this?"

"I think so."

"We'll take it slow," I promised as I gingerly leaned the motorcycle against the truck's fender while I went to get mine.

"So are we going to ride or what?" he asked

"Let's do it," I agreed.

* * *

"Okay, where's your clutch?"

He pointed to the lever on his left handlebar. Letting go of the grip was a mistake. The heavy bike wobbled underneath him, threatening to knock me sidewise. He grabbed the handle again, trying to hold it straight.

"Jacob, it won't stay up," he complained.

"It will when you're moving," I promised. "Now where's your brake?"

"Behind my right foot."

"Wrong."

I grabbed his right hand and curled his fingers around the lever over the throttle.

"But you said - "

"This is the brake you want. Don't use the back brake now, that's for later, when you know what you're doing."

"That doesn't sound right," he said suspiciously. "Aren't both brakes kind of important?"

"Forget the back brake, okay? Here - " I wrapped my hand around his and made him squeeze the lever down. "That is how you brake. Don't forget." I squeezed my hand another time.

"Fine," he agreed.

"Throttle?"

He twisted the right grip.

"Gearshift?"

He nudged it with my left calf.

"Very good. I think you've got all the parts down. Now you just have to get it moving."

"Uh-huh," he muttered, afraid to say more.

"I want you to hold down the clutch," I instructed.

He wrapped his fingers around the clutch.

"Now this is crucial, Beau," Jacob stressed. "Don't let go of that, okay? I want you to pretend that I've handed you a live grenade. The pin is out and you are holding down the spoon."

He squeezed tighter.

"Good. Do you think you can kick-start it?"

"If I move my foot, I will fall over," he told me through gritted teeth, his fingers tight around his live grenade.

"Okay, I'll do it. Don't let go of the clutch."

I took a step back, and then suddenly slammed my foot down on the pedal. There was a short ripping noise, and the force of my thrust rocked the bike. He started to fall sideways, but I caught the bike easily before it knocked him to the ground.

"Steady there," I encouraged. "Do you still have the clutch?"

"Yes," he gasped.

"Plant your feet - I'm going to try again." But I put my hand on the back of the seat, too, just to be safe.

It took four more kicks before the ignition caught.

"Try out the throttle," I suggested. "Very lightly. And don't let go of the clutch."

Hesitantly, he twisted the right handle. Though the movement was tiny, the bike snarled. I smiled in deep satisfaction.

"Do you remember how to put it into first gear?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Well, go ahead and do it."

"Okay."

I waited for a few seconds.

"Left foot," I prompted.

"I know," he said, taking a deep breath.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked. "You look scared."

"I'm fine," he snapped. He kicked the gearshift down one notch.

"Very good," I praised. "Now, very gently, ease up on the clutch."

I took a step away from the bike.

"You want me to let go of the grenade?" He asked in disbelief

"That's how you move, Beau. Just do it little by little.".

"Oh!" He gasped, and his hand fell off the clutch.

The bike bucked under him, yanking him forward and then collapsing to the ground half on top of Beau. The growling engine choked to a stop.

"Beau?" I jerked the heavy bike off him with ease. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine," he mumbled, dazed.

"Did you hit your head?" I asked.

"I don't think so." he shook it back and forth, checking. "I didn't hurt the bike, did I?"

"No. You just stalled the engine," I said, "You let go of the clutch too fast."

He nodded. "Let's try again."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Positive."

This time he kick started it himself.

"Easy on the clutch," I reminded him. "Ease off slowly,"

And then he was flying.

But then something went wrong. He was going too fast and the bike was suddenly unstable underneath him, shivering first to one side and then the other and then the bike was on the ground, still spinning toward the trees.

The motorcycle landed on top of him again, roaring loudly, pulling him across the wet sand until it hit something stationary.

"Beau!" I yelled jumping quickly on my bike and riding out to where he fell.

I quickly lifted the bike off of him so he could breathe

"Wow," he murmured

"Beau!" What the freaking fuck? Are you okay?"

He only laughed "I'm great! Let's do it again."

"I don't think so. I think I'd better drive you to the hospital first."

"I'm fine."

"Um, Beau? You've got a huge cut on your forehead, and it's gushing blood,"

How he could not realize was beyond me. Must be the adrenaline.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Jacob." he pushed hard against the gash.

"Why are you apologizing for bleeding?"

Something about the way he said it had me thinking.

"Habit."

"Habit? You know people that aren't good with blood."

His eyes flashed and his jaw tensed as though he said too much. 'Vampire' - my mind immediately supplied 'Beau know vampires.' But I didn't want to question him in case I was wrong.

"Let's go." I said instead.

"What about the bikes?" he asked

I thought for a second. "Wait here. And take this." I pulled off my T-shirt, already spotted with blood, and threw it to him. He wadded it up and held it tightly to his forehead

I jumped on the black motorcycle, kicked it to a start in one try, and raced back down the road, spraying sand and pebbles behind me. The drove the truck back to where Beau was

"Okay, let's get you in the truck."

"I'm honestly fine," he assured me as I helped him in. "Don't get worked up. It's just a little blood."

"Just a lot of blood," I muttered as I went for the other bike.

"Now, let's think about this for a second," he began when he got back in. "If you take me to the ER like this, Charlie is sure to hear about it and then Billy will hear about it and I don't think either of our dads will appreciate us on motorcycles."

"Difference is only one of us gives a shit about what their dad thinks."

"Jacob" his voice was pleading.

"Fine no hospital. I'll take you back to the rez and clean it myself." Carlisle had taught me a few things before the Cullens disappeared. Being a shifter I couldn't exactly walk into a hospital so he thought it would be good for me to know the basics "Just try not to bleed out in my truck would ya."

"I'll try my best"

"By the way," I added. "I'm going to disconnect your foot brake tonight."

He laughed "Fair enough"

I noticed him staring at me

"What?" I asked, suddenly self-conscious.

"Nothing. I just hadn't realized before. Did you know, you're sort of beautiful?"

I rolled his eyes. "You hit your head pretty hard, didn't you?"

"I'm serious."

"Well, then, sort of thanks.."

He grinned. "You're sort of welcome."

In the end the wound wasn't so bad. I had to do about seven stitches to close the cut on Beau's forehead. And since I had no local aesthetic I just had Beau drink some whisky and promise not to tell. I told him he had to sleep over so I could wake in up every two hours because he might have a concussion and I had to make sure it wasn't serious. He agreed that it was a fair trade off to not having ot go to the hospital.


	6. One Big Mess

Chapter VI

TIME BEGAN TO TRIP ALONG MUCH MORE QUICKLY than before. School, work, and Beau - though not necessarily in that order - created a neat and effortless pattern to follow. And Billy got his wish: I wasn't miserable anymore. Of course, I couldn't fool myself completely. When I stopped to take stock of my life, which I tried not to do too often, I couldn't ignore the implications of my behaviour.

I was like a lost moon - my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario of desolation - that continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity.

I didn't keep track of the days that passed - there was no reason, as I tried to live as much in the present as possible, no past fading, no future impending. So I was surprised by the date when Beau brought it up on one day at school. He was waiting when I pulled up at the school.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Beau said, smiling.

He held out a small, pink box, balancing it on his palm. Conversation hearts.

"Well, I feel like a schmuck," I mumbled. "Is today Valentine's Day?"

Beau shook his head with mock sadness. "You can be so out of it sometimes. Yes, it is the fourteenth day of February. So are you going to be my Valentine? Since you didn't get me a fifty-cent box of candy, it's the least you can do."

I started to feel uncomfortable. The words were teasing, but only on the surface.

"What exactly does that entail?" I hedged.

"The usual - slave for life, that kind of thing."

"Oh, well, if that's all..." I took the candy. But I was trying to think of some way to make the boundaries clear. Again. They seemed to get blurred a lot with Beau.

"So, what are we doing tomorrow?"

"Movies. Reminder, Mike's been bothering us into going."

"Right. How could I forget?"

When the time actually came to go out though Jessica and Lauren claimed to be busy. Eric and Katie already had plans - it was their three-week anniversary or something. Lauren got to Tyler and Conner before Mike could, so those two were also busy. Even Quil and Embry was out - grounded for fighting at school and patrol for the pack respectively. In the end, only myself, Mike Angela and Ben, and, of course Beau, were able to go.

The diminished numbers didn't dampen Mike's anticipation, though. It was all he could talk about Friday.

"Are you sure you don't want to see Tomorrow and Forever instead?" he asked at lunch, naming the current romantic comedy that was ruling the box office. "Rotten Tomatoes gave it a better review."

"I want to see Crosshairs" I insisted. "I'm in the mood for action. Bring on the blood and guts!"

"Okay." Mike turned away.

When I got home from school, I jumped in the rabbit. I was feeling inspired after hanging out with Beau and fixing the bikes and the hole in my heart didn't hurt as much. When I finnally pulled up Mike and Beau were already there and Beau ran up to the car reconginzing it immediately.

"No way!" he shouted as I jumped out of the car. "You're done! I can't believe it! You finished the Rabbit!"

I beamed. "Just last night. I was feeling inspired. This is the maiden voyage."

"Incredible." he held his hand up for a high five.

He smacked his hand against mine, but left it there, twisting his fingers through mine.

Mike got out of his car and crossed the road.

"You two look cosey," he greeted me.

"Bite me Mike" I deadpanned as Beau laughed

Just then my phone rang.

It was Ben. Angela was sick with the stomach flu, and he didn't feel like coming without her. He apologized for bailing on us.

I walked slowly back to the waiting boys, shaking my head. I really hoped Angela would feel better soon.

"Ang is sick," I told them glumly. "She and Ben aren't coming."

"I guess the flu is making another round. Austin and Conner were out today, too. Maybe we should do this another time," Mike suggested.

Before I could agree, Beau spoke.

"I'm still up for it. If you guys still want to stay - "

"Yeah, let's watch a movie," Mike said.

The movie was exactly what it professed to be. In just the opening credits, four people got blown up and one got beheaded. The girl in front of me put her hands over her eyes and turned her face into her date's chest. He patted her shoulder, and winced occasionally, too. Mike didn't look like he was watching. His face was stiff as he glared toward the fringe of curtain above the screen.

I settled in to endure the two hours, watching the colors and the movement on the screen rather than seeing the shapes of people and cars and houses. I found the movie funny but no one else was laughing. But then Beau started sniggering.

"What?" I whispered.

"Oh, c'mon!" he hissed back. "The blood squirted twenty feet out of that guy. How fake can you get?"

He chuckled again, as a flagpole speared another man into a concrete wall.

After that, I really watched the show, laughing with him as the mayhem got more and more ridiculous. How was I ever going to fight the blurring lines in our relationship when I enjoyed being with him so much? But every time I though about that the pain reminded me of Edward. That Edward wasn't just an ex-boyfriend. He was my soulmate. My forever. My imprint.

Both Beau and Mike had claimed the armrests on either side of me. But Beau's hand rested lightly, palms up, in an unnatural looking position. Like a steel bear trap, open and ready. Beau was in the habit of taking my hand whenever the opportunity presented itself, but here in the darkened movie theater, with Mike watching, it would have a different significance - and I was sure he knew that. I folded my arms tightly across my chest and hoped that his hand fell asleep.

About halfway through the movie, Mike leaned forward to put his head in his hands. At first I thought he was reacting to something on the screen, but then he moaned.

"Mike, are you okay?" I whispered.

The couple in front of us turned to look at him as he groaned again.

I could see the sheen of sweat across his face in the light from the screen.

Mike groaned again, and bolted for the door. I got up to follow him, and Beau copied me immediately.

"No, stay," I whispered. "I'll make sure he's okay."

Beau came with me anyway.

"You don't have to come. Get your eight bucks worth of carnage," I insisted as we walked up the aisle.

"That's okay. You sure can pick them, Jacob. This movie really sucks." His voice rose from a whisper to its normal pitch as we walked out of the theater.

There was no sign of Mike in the hallway, so I ducked into the men's bathroom to check for him there.

Mike sounded like his was throwing up his guts. I walked back out into the hallway with Beau. We were all alone in the hallway. Both theaters were halfway through the movie, and it was deserted - quiet enough for us to hear the popcorn popping at the concession counter in the lobby.

Beau went to sit on the velveteen-upholstered bench against the wall, patting the space beside him.

"He sounded like he was going to be in there for a while," he said, stretching his long legs out in front of him as he settled in to wait.

I joined him with a sigh. He looked like he was thinking about blurring more lines. Sure enough, as soon as I sat down, he shifted over to put his arm around my shoulders.

"Beau," I protested, leaning away. He dropped his arm, not looking bothered at all by the minor rejection. He reached out and took my hand firmly, wrapping his other hand around my wrist when I tried to pull away again. Where did he get the confidence from?

"Now, just hold on a minute, Jale," he said in a calm voice. "Tell me something."

I grimaced. I didn't want to do this. Not just not now, but not ever. There was nothing left in my life at this point that was more important than Beau Swan. But he seemed determined to ruin everything.

"What?" I muttered sourly.

"You like me, right?"

"You know I do."

"Better than any of the other guys you know?" He was calm, serene - as if my answer didn't matter, or he already knew what it was.

"Better than the girls, too," I pointed out.

"But that's all," he said, and it wasn't a question.

It was hard to answer, to say the word. Would he get hurt and avoid me? How would I stand that?

"Yes," I whispered.

"I don't get it. I mean I understood at first. Bad break up – we've all been there. But it's been months. You need to move on Jake"

"It's not that easy."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not. I still love him Beau. I'll always love him."

"He doesn't deserve your love!" he began to raise his voice "He LEFT!"

I was getting upset and my voice raised "You don't know him. YOU don't get to judge him and his decisions. He had his reasons for leaving."

"What could possibly be a good reason for leaving?"

I sighed "He loves me." It was so stupid but it was true. As much as we – I – tried to ignore this whole 2 different species things it wasn't easy. There was no way the shifters would accept him and outside of the Cullens who knew how the vampires would react to me. He left because he didn't want me to suffer but his leaving has cause so much pain. It was just one huge mess.

"If he loved you he would have stayed."

"Oh fuck you Beau," I spat "Don't judge what you don't understand."

"Look Jacob. I really like you and I know you like me back even if you're trying to hid behind your so called love for your ex. I'm prepared to be annoyingly persistent."

"I'm not going to change my mind," I said, "Trust me. There's nothing you can do to make me stop loving him." and though I tried to keep my voice normal, I could hear the sadness in it.

"Look just don't get mad at me for hanging around, okay?" Beau patted the back of my hand. "Because I'm not giving up. I've got loads of time."

I sighed. "You shouldn't waste it on me," I said, though I knew I should want him to. Especially if he was willing to accept me the way I was - damaged goods, as is. He deserved better than to fall for me.

"It's what I want to do, as long as you still like to be with me."

"I can't imagine how I could not like being with you," I told him honestly.

Beau beamed. "I can live with that. For now"

"Just don't expect more," I warned him, trying to pull my hand away. He held onto it obstinately.

"This doesn't really bother you, does it?" he demanded, squeezing my fingers.

"No," I sighed. Truthfully, it felt nice.

"Jacob, you're mood swings are confusing. You still love your ex but you're okay with holding my hand."

"We're not making a lifelong commitment here Beau." I laughed "Plus you're the one who want to hold my hand. I told you I will never stop loving my ex. That's that"

And then Mike stumbled out of the bathroom, his face ashen and covered in sweat. He looked horrible.

"Oh, Mike," I gasped.

"Do you mind leaving early?" he whispered.

"No, of course not." I pulled my hand free and went to help Mike walk. He looked unsteady.

"Movie too much for you?" Beau asked heartlessly. He was in a mood

Mike's glare was malevolent. "I didn't actually see any of it," he mumbled. "I was nauseated before the lights went down."

"Why didn't you say something?" I scolded as we staggered toward the exit.

"I was hoping it would pass," he said.

"Just a sec," Beau said as we reached the door. He walked quickly back to the concession stand.

"Could I have an empty popcorn bucket?" he asked the salesgirl. She looked at Mike once, and then thrust a bucket at Jacob.

"Get him outside, please," she begged. She was obviously the one who would have to clean the floor.

I towed Mike out into the cool, wet air. He inhaled deeply. Beau was right behind us. He helped me get Mike into the back of the car, and handed him the bucket with a serious gaze.

"Please," was all Beau said.

We rolled down the windows, letting the icy night air blow through the car, hoping it would help Mike..

"Cold, again?" I asked Beau seeing him shiver, putting my arm around him before he could answer.

"You're not?"

I shook his head. "I don't get cold" Perk of being a shifter

"You must have a fever or something," he grumbled. He touched his fingers to my forehead.

"Whoa, Jake - you're burning up!"

"I feel fine." I shrugged. "Fit as a fiddle."

He frowned and touched my head again.

"Your hands are like ice," I complained trying to deflect

"Maybe it's me," he allowed.

Mike groaned in the backseat, and threw up in the bucket. I grimaced, hoping my own stomach could stand the sound and smell. The road felt longer on the way back.

I drove Mike home in his Suburban, then took a taxi back to get the Rabbit to drop Beau home cause he came with Mike.

"Jake?' Beau called just before we got into the Rabbit. "I promised myself I wouldn't ask but I just have to know. What did happen between you and Edward."

"That's none of your concern."

"I think it is" he countered "You keep saying that I wouldn't understand but you refuse to explain in to me."

"I'm within my right."

"Shit man Jake, I falling for you. I deserve a better explanation than I still love my dirt-bag of an ex."

I was pissed. Too pissed to calm down. I hadn't felt this way in a long time but I knew enough now to know what was happening. I was about to shift. In a crowed parking lot – in front of Beau "I gotta go." I spat out, throwing my keys at Beau and sprinting toward a secluded part of town that was close to the forest.

My long legs made in hard for Beau to follow and my enhanced speed came in handy. I was at the edge of the forest when I just exploded out of my skin.

Everything that I had been keeping in just exploded on me and I felt myself crumple on the ground onto all fours and roll unto my side. The pain of the distance from my imprint intensified now that I was wolf and all my thoughts were centred around Edward. Every moment we had together. Every moment I wish we had. It was all too much. I felt like I could die. Like I should die.

I pained howl escaped me. This was it. This is what the elders were talking about – being away from your imprint will kill you. I had lasted longer than I thought I would. This would be the end I wouldn't have to suffer anymore.

I could just close my eyes and let the pain take me away

 _"Jake?"_ I heard in my head but it sounded distant.  _"Jacob!"_

Where was this voice coming from? I wish it would stop. It was too loud. I wanted my end to be peaceful.

 _"Shit JACOB!"_ the voice called again, this time sounding familiar _"Hey buddy – man you can't do this"_

He sounded desperate. I wanted him to stop. I closed my eyes.

 _"Open your eyes Jake."_ The voice insisted _"JACOB!"_

 _"Embry?"_ I whispered opening my eyes. The pain was intense.

_"Jacob man, I'm coming to you okay. Don't give up yet. I'm coming."_

And I could tell he was. I could feel him running through the forest. I could tell he was close to La Push but was closing the distance between us quicker than should be possible. I wondered for a second how his voice could be in my head and then I remember that the pack share a telepathic link. He could hear my thoughts and I his when we're both shifted. He knows. He knows about my imprint on Edward – and now he knows the pack will know and then I'll be dead anyway.

I closed my eyes again.

Embry's scream of  _"JACOB!"_  was the last thing I heard.


	7. Beau Knows ... and so does Mike?

**Chapter VII**

When I flew up I didn't recognize my surroundings but I didn't have time to panic as Embry was at my side.

"Woah Jake. Take it easy." He said hand on my shoulder guiding me back down on the bed that was way too small for me. He handed shoved a glass of water in my face tilting it for me to drink, "Here."

"What happened?" I asked, horse. My throat was dry even though I just had water.

"You don't remember?" he asked instead of answering.

"I remember pain." I tried to focus "I remember your voice I think. I remember thinking about the –" I trailed off.

"Imprint." He finished. You remembered thinking about the imprint."

I didn't respond. I just waited for the onslaught of hate I was about to get.

"Jacob you absolute moron, why didn't you tell me?"

"What?" I was confused. Where was the you have to die and this is an abomination spiel?

"What you must be going through. I can't imagine. Jacob you must be in so much constant pain. I can't even –" he trailed off "I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

"Trying to pull you away from Edward. He's your imprint. We had no right."

"You didn't know." I shrugged.

"You should have said something. No one deserves to go through what you must have been for months. I don't know how you're still alive."

"I wonder about that all the time. Some days are easy. That day was not. By the way, how long ago was that."

"Three days. You blacked out. Scared me."

"Sorry." I muttered.

He shrugged. "You know what I don't get though. Why did he leave? He's your imprint."

"He doesn't know."

"What you mean he doesn't know?"

"I shifted on my birthday and when I shifted he was unconscious. Then it was that whole learning how to shift back, here are the legends of our tribe thing. Then when I finally got to talk to him we kind of avoided each other's eyes and right before he left I demanded he looked at me and that was that. Then he was gone. So he doesn't know. No one does – well at least no one did." I said looking pointedly at him "How's the pack taking it."

"I wouldn't know. I haven't told them anything."

"What? Why?"

"Jacob you passed out. You were barely breathing. I had to freaking drag you though the forest by myself. And then you wouldn't wake up. I wasn't going to leave you just to give them an update. Plus I do have high hopes but I really don't know how the pack would react to the news and I wanted to give you a chance to make your own choice and well I haven't shifted since then. So they don't know."

"How are they not banging down the door demanding answers."

"They don't know where we are. We're not at the rez."

"Where are we then?"

He inhaled deeply "Mike's."

"Mike!" I exclaimed "As in Mike Newton?" he nodded "What the fuck dude."

"I had no choice. I couldn't go back to the rez. You were unconscious and the only way I could carry you was in wolf form so I had to go to someone we could trust and someone the pack wouldn't think to confront. And well I remember you saying Mike's you're best friend so –"

"So you showed up at Mike's door" he nodded "With me unconscious on your back" he nodded again "And he let you in."

Embry barked out a laugh. "Yeah I asked him about that. He said he saw you passed out and everything else didn't matter."

"Bless his heart."

"Yeah" Embry agreed

"Anyone see you?"

"Nope and luckily Mike's parents aren't even home. They went out of town for the week."

"So he knows then?" I asked "That we're shifters?"

"Yes and no. I mean he saw me obviously but he didn't really ask any questions and I was too preoccupied to give answers."

"So in summary, the rez is probably going crazy because we're both MIA and Mike's down stairs somewhere thinking about the fact that he saw a giant wolf thing bring in his unconscious best friend and then the wolf thing turned into a teenage boy."

"Yip that about covers it."

"That sounds like the plot to a bad movie" I sighed "How is this our lives?"

Embry let out a small laugh but before we could answer we hear a soft knock and then Mike's head stuck through the door.

"I thought I heard voices" he said to Embry and then he notices me and jumps on the bed to tackle me into the pillows "JACOB!"

I couldn't help but laugh "Hey Mike."

"Oh my God, you're okay." He exclaimed "I was freaking out for a bit but Embry insisted no hospitals and well yea –" He trailed off looking at Embry unsure.

"I'm fine Mike. But you must have questions."

"Questions?" he scoffed "Why would I have questions about your friend from the rez who is apparently a dog person? Why would I want to know if you're a dog person too? I mean who would questions those things"

I smiled and shared a look with Embry "Shifters" I said and Embry nodded.

"What?" Mike ask incredulously.

"Embry and myself and some other guys down at the rez, we're shifters."

"Oh. My. God. That is so COOL!"

I laughed "I'm glad you think so. But Mike you can't tell anyone!"

"Who am I going to tell Jake. No one will believe me anyway. Oh my god. Those huge bears people have been seeing. That's you guys."

"Smart man" Embry said with a smile nodding.

"That's just crazy" Mike said "Did Edward know?" he asked without thinking the his eyes widened realized his started the forbidden topic.

I sighed "Yeah Edward knew. He actually knew before I did."

"He knew!? Is he a shifter too?"

Embry scoffed "Cullen! A shifter! As if!"

I just rolled my eyes.

"It wasn't why he left was it?" Mike asked "Cause that would be ridiculous. This is so not a reason to leave someone high and dry."

I wondered about how much I should tell him. Then again he was taking everything so well. "He did sorta leave because I was a shifter but it's more complicated than that."

"Complicated how?" Mike asked

Embry and I shared another look and then I turned back to Mike "Edward isn't a shifter, but he's not exactly human. He's a vampire."

Mike's eyes widened as big as saucers "Vampires are real?"

"Yip" Embry and I said at the same time.

"And Cullen was one?" I nodded "And the rest of his family too?" I nodded again

"That explains so much!" Mike exclaimed "That still doesn't explain why he left."

"Well" Embry started before I could "Vampires and Shifters don't really get along. We're enemies basically. So when Jacob started dating Edward it made everyone mad."

"Yeah," I confirmed "At that point I hadn't shifted yet but everyone was positive I was going to and well and shifter and vamp together is like blasphemy."

"Then Jasper tried to kill Leah ..." Embry started

"Because she cut her hand on purpose in front of him! Who purposefully bleeds in front of a vamp." I defended

"We were trying to prove a point."

"There was no point to prove."

"Vampires are dangerous."

"Shifters are idiots."

"We just wanted an answer."

"To an ultimatum that made no sense."

"What. The. Hell?" Mike questioned. For a second we forgot he was there. "When you say things are complicated you weren't kidding. What ultimatum?"

"Break up with Edward or else the whole Black clan will be banished from the rez."

Mike was shocked "What!?" Dude! What the hell kind of choice is that?"

I shrugged and Embry looked down in embarrassment.

"What did you choose?" he questioned

"I didn't" I shrugged again "I didn't get the chance. The hold drama with Leah and then I shifted. Then Edward left and here we are."

Mike was speechless for a second. "And I thought when I saw Embry covered in blood dragging you in here that was the worst of it."

I turned to Embry in surprise "Covered in blood!? Something you forgot to tell me buddy?"

Embry sighed, looking at Mike as though he betrayed his trust. "It was nothing."

"I'll be the judge of that." I insisted.

"It was this vampire. There's two of them. We've been hunting them. That's why people have been seeing glimpses of us. We've been trying to stick to the forest but those vamps are smart and they hide among the humans."

"You fought a vampire?"

"Well he wasn't exactly friendly. He said he knew you though. Said his name was Laurent. Said something about some chick wanting to kill you and he was actually doing you a favor by killing you. I wasn't gonna let that happen, obviously and you couldn't exactly defend yourself. He got in a couple good shots before I killed him though. The blood Mike saw was mine. But I'm fine and Laurent is dead."

"Shit Laurent." I was speechless

"Was he a friend or something?"

I scoffed. "Hell no. He was with James."

"The psycho that tried to kill you last year?"

"I nodded while Mike yelled "Someone tried to kill you last year? You're a shifter. The Cullens are weirdoes and you apparently almost died. How did I not know all this?"

I laughed "Don't worry buddy, I'll give you the cliff notes sometime."

"But that wasn't the strange part." Embry said

"What do you mean?" I asked

"Laurent, before he started trying to kill us, he mentioned Beau."

"Beau?" I questioned "Beau Swan?"

"Beau knows about everything?" Mike asked

"I didn't tell him" I replied

"You didn't have to." Embry said "Apparently his ex, Brad or something, is a vamp."

"Are you fucking joking right now?"

"Nope. Beau knows the Cullens. He stayed with the cousins from Denali for a little while before he moved to Forks. He knew Laurent. Laurent said he knew that you were unprotected because Beau told him the Cullens left. Beau has been selling you out"

"How do you know all this?" Mike asked Embry

"Laurent was right chatty. Probably trying to get me to drop my guard. But there is no reason to think he wasn't telling the truth."

"So Beau knows? About you and about Cullen?" Mike said

"Apparently" I replied

"But why not say anything? Why pretend as though he doesn't know? I thought he actually liked you? Why sell you out to someone trying to kill you?" Mike questioned

"Those are all good questions" I started "But right now I'm starving, so answers are going to have to wait. Plus we," I pointed at Embry and myself "Need to face the rez at some point."

* * *

I was calm and well fed when I got home but I expected to be bombarded by everyone.

"Jacob?" Billy asked when I slammed the front door behind me.

"Yeah, it's me and Embry."

"Where the hell have you two been?" he thundered, appearing through the kitchen doorway with an ominous expression.

"Hiking," I deadpanned.

His eyes were tight. "For three days?"

"It was a really long hike."

"Jacob I don't have time for your bullshit."

"Great! Cause I don't have time for yours Billy." I was starting to get upset

"Hey" Embry cut in "Let's all calm down and not do anything we'll regret"

"Embry," Billy started still staring at me "Sam needs to see you. He wants you to shift and meet him."

"You mean he wants to see Embry's thoughts to figure out what we've been up to." I countered before Embry could reply.

"Why should it matter?" Billy spat "You were just hiking."

I laughed humourlessly.

"What's going on Jacob? You were doing fine. You were better. You were hanging out with Beau and you were happy. What changed?"

Beau, another liar in my life apparently. "Nothing changed Billy." I said with an anger I sometimes forgot I possessed "I was never fine! I'm Not FINE!"

"Well tell me what's wrong!" Billy demanded just as passionately

"Oh you what to know what's wrong? I im-"

"Nothing!" Embry yelled, while placing his hand over my mouth sufficiently cutting me off "Not a single thing is wrong!" he turned to me "This will fall in the category of things you might regret." then turning back to Billy "Billy we just thought we should pop over, let you know we're fine but I think Jake is going to spend a few days over at mine."

"What's going on boys?" Billy pleaded "I can't help if I don't know."

I scoffed and turned to walk out the door but I still heard Embry reply "This isn't something we can fix Billy. It really isn't. Jake just needs some time. Just give him time."

"At least tell me where you were" Billy demanded but neither of us answered as we walked out the house.

We didn't answer, instead we walked to the direction of Embry's house. We almost made it to the door before Sam stopped us, flanked by the others.

"Embry! Jacob!" he thundered "Where have you two been?

I sighed and looked upward asking whatever deity out there for internal strength to deal with these A-holes.

"Hiking" Embry deadpanned this time and I couldn't help but smile at him.

I turned around to face them and like I expected Sam stood there with Jared, Paul Quil and Seth but what I didn't expect was Beau to be right beside them.

I looked at Beau and then at Embry, who in that moment look as though he read my mind "You have got to be kidding me." I whispered to Embry.

"What have you done, Jacob?" he demanded.

Paul thrust past Sam and spoke before I could say anything.

"Why can't you just follow the rules, Jacob?" he yelled, throwing his arms in the air. "What the hell are you thinking? There is nothing more important than the whole tribe! Than the people getting killed!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked quietly.

"HIM!" the Paul shouted, pointing at Beau. His arms begin to quiver. "How could you just tell him our secret! And Embry going missing for three days! We were worried. You Jacob, can do whatever the hell you want like you've always done but when you start bring the pack down with you then we have a problem"

"I am not 'bringing the pack down'! I didn't tell Beau anything! And if Embry wants to be a friend to me I am sure as hell not going to push him away!" I shouted back.

A shudder rippled through Paul, along his shoulders and down his spine.

"Paul! Relax!" Sam commanded.

Paul shook his head back and forth, not in defiance, but as though he were trying to concentrate.

"Jeez, Paul," Jared muttered. "Get a grip."

Paul twisted his head toward Jared, his lips curling back in irritation. Then he shifted his glare back towards my direction. I flipped him off showing him both middle fingers. He was being a child.

That did it.

"Fuck you Black!" Paul roared in outrage. Another shudder, a convulsion, heaved through his body. He threw his head back, a real growl tearing from between his teeth.

"Paul!" Sam and Jared shouted together.

Paul seemed to fall forward, vibrating violently. Halfway to the ground, there was a loud ripping noise, and the boy exploded.

Dark silver fur blew out from the boy, coalescing into a shape more than five-times his size - a massive, crouched shape, ready to spring.

The wolf's muzzle wrinkled back over his teeth, and another growl rolled through his colossal chest. His dark, enraged eyes focused on me.

I didn't have time for this shit. In the same second, I was running across the road straight for Paul.

"Jacob!" Embry screamed.

Mid-stride, a long tremor shivered down my spine. I leaped forward, diving headfirst into the empty air.

With another sharp tearing sound, I exploded, too. It happened so quickly that if you'd blinked, you'd have missed the entire transformation. One second it was me diving into the air, and then it was the gigantic, russet brown wolf charging the crouched silver beast.

I met Paul's attack head-on. Our angry snarls echoed like thunder off the trees.

* * *

**Change in POV - Embry**

The black and white scraps - the remains of Jacob's clothes - fluttered to the ground where he'd disappeared.

"Jacob!" I yelled again, the freaking idiot. Paul was going to see everything in his head now. Then Sam would know and then it would be all out war. Maybe. But I didn't really want to find out.

"Stay where you are, Beau," Sam ordered. I now realized that Beau was slowly inching towards where Paul and Jacob were currently trying to kill each other. It was hard to hear him over the roar of the fighting wolves. They were snapping and tearing at each other, their sharp teeth flashing toward each other's throats. Jacob had the upper hand - he was visibly bigger and stronger, too. He rammed his shoulder against the gray wolf again and again, knocking him back toward the trees.

"Take him to Emily's," Sam shouted towards us. Jacob had successfully shoved the Paul off the road, and they were disappearing into the forest, though the sound of their snarls was still loud. Sam ran after them, kicking off his shoes on the way. As he darted into the trees, he was quivering from head to toe.

Great! Now Sam was going to be in Jacob's head as well this was not going to end well.

The growling and snapping was fading into the distance. Suddenly, the sound cut off and it was very quiet on the road.

Things were so serious, everything was fine one day and then it quickly turned into this big mess that was about to get bigger I couldn't help myself. I started laughing.

"Well, there's something you don't see every day," I snickered.

"I do," Jared, grumbled. "Every single day."

"Aw, Paul doesn't lose his temper every day," I disagreed, still grinning. "Maybe two out of three."

Jared stopped to pick something white up off the ground. He held it up toward Embry; it dangled in limp strips from his hand.

"Totally shredded," Jared said. "Guess Jacob's going barefoot now."

"Dang Jake! I know he can't afford another one right now. At least this one survived," I said, holding up a white sneaker. "Jake can hop," I added with a laugh.

Jared started collecting various pieces of fabric from the dirt. "Get Sam's shoes, will you? All the rest of this is headed for the trash."

I grabbed the shoes and then jogged into the trees where Sam had disappeared. I was back in a few seconds with a pair of cut-off jeans draped over his arm. Jared gathered the torn remnants of Jacob's and Paul's clothes and wadded them into a ball. Suddenly, he seemed to remember Beau.

He looked at him carefully, assessing.

"Hey, you're not going to faint or puke or anything?" he demanded.

"Nah. He accustomed to bloodsuckers. What giant wolf is gonna freak him out."

"What?!" Jared demanded.

Something told me that whatever Beau had told the guys it wasn't that he used to run with the vamps. And if his expression was anything to go by he was hoping we didn't find out.

"Yeah! Swan here is buddy buddy with the Vampires." I said staring at him

"Who told you that?" he demanded coming towards me.

He was standing so close or faces were almost touching. I supposed it was supposed to be intimidating. All it did was make me laugh.

"Laurent did," I said and his face turned from anger to surprise "Right before I killed him"

His face dropped and morphed into anger "You killed Laurent!" he screamed the same time Jared pulled me away from him demanding "You killed a vamp!"

I nodded to Jared, ignoring Beau.

"By yourself?" he questioned and I nodded again "What the hell were you and Jacob up to," but before I could answer "I swear to God Embry if you say hiking I'll clock you."

"I couldn't help myself. I laughed again.

"You don't look so good. Maybe you should sit down." Quil said suddenly and I turned to see him helping Beau to the ground.

"Jake should have warned us," Quil complained.

"What exactly should he have warned us about?" I demanded "And since when do we listen to Jake?" The pack was always trying to put things on Jacob even though most of it was out of his control.

"Well, the wolf's out of the bag now." Jared sighed. "Way to go, Jake."

"The wolf was always out of the bag." I said looking at Beau "That isn't Jake's fault"

"Aren't you worried about them at all?" Beau demanded.

I blinked once in surprise "Worried? About who? Jake and Paul? Why?"

"They could hurt each other!"

Jared and I guffawed, Quil shook his head and Seth was outright laughing.

"I hope Paul gets a mouthful of him," Jared said. "Teach him a lesson."

"Yeah, right!" I disagreed. "Did you see Jake? Even Sam couldn't have phased on the fly like that. He saw Paul losing it, and it took him, what, half a second to attack? The boy's got a gift."

"Paul's been fighting longer. Jake has shifted less than 5 times. I'll bet you fifty bucks he leaves a mark."

"You're on. Jake's a natural. Paul doesn't have a prayer."

We shook hands, grinning.

"Let's go see Emily. You know she'll have food waiting." I looked down at Beau. "Come on vamp-groupie lets go"

"Where are we going?" Beau asked.

"Emily's house. She's Sam's fiancee. They'll meet us back there after Sam tries to be all Alpha about what just happened. And after Paul and Jake scrounge up some new clothes, if Paul even has any left."

"What do you mean act all Alpha? Isn't Sam the Alpha?"

And why would I tell you trade secrets? You didn't think it was necessary for Jake to know that you knew about us and about vampires."

He sighed "Does Emily know about... ?"

"Yeah. And hey, don't stare at her. That bugs Sam."

He frowned at me. "Why would I stare?"

"Well for one you seem like an asshole. And two, like you saw just now, hanging out around werewolves has its risks." I changed the subject. "Mmm, Emily's cooking."

We climbed up the one step and entered the house without knocking.

The front room, like Billy's house, was mostly kitchen. Emily, a young woman with satiny copper skin and long, straight, crow-black hair was standing at the counter by the sink, popping big muffins out of a tin and placing them on a paper plate.

"You guys hungry?" she asked in a melodic voice, and she turned to face us full on, a smile on half of her face.

The right side of her face was scarred from hairline to chin by three thick, red lines, livid in color though they were long healed. One line pulled down the corner of her dark, almond-shaped right eye, another twisted the right side of her mouth into a permanent grimace.

"Oh," Emily said, surprised. "Who's this?"

"Beau Swan," Jared told her, shrugging.

"Jacob told?," Emily murmured.

"Jacob would never tell!" I defended. They didn't need to know about Mike just yet.

"Where's Sam?" Emily asked

"Trying to stop Paul and Jacob from killing each other I supposed."

Emily rolled her good eye. "Ah, Paul," she sighed. "Do you think they'll be long? I was just about to start the eggs."

"Don't worry," Embry told her. "If they're late, we won't let anything go to waste."

Emily chuckled, and then opened the refrigerator. "No doubt," she agreed. "Beau, are you hungry? Go ahead and help yourself to a muffin."

"Thanks." he took one from the plate and started nibbling around the edges while I picked up my third and shoved it into my mouth whole.

"Save some for your brothers," Emily chastised me, hitting me on the head with a wooden spoon.

"Pig," Jared commented.

"You're just jealous" I retorted and Jared scoffed

Emily was mixing a humongous batch of eggs, several dozen, in a big yellow bowl. She had the sleeves of her lavender shirt pushed up.

The front door opened, and Sam stepped through and I tensed. Sam didn't seem mad so maybe Jacob was able to keep his secret for a little while longer.

"Emily," he said. He leaned down and kissed the dark scars on her right cheek before he kissed her lips.

"Hey, none of that," Jared complained. "I'm eating."

"Then shut up and eat," Sam suggested, kissing Emily's ruined mouth again.

"Ugh," I groaned.

Then Jacob and Paul came through the door and I was up in an instant pulling Jacob away.

"Dude! You had me freaking out! What the hell happened?" I whispered-shouted.

"Paul knows." he sighed

"Fuck!" I spat.

"Actually, Paul reacted about the same why you did. He was a little violent at first but that's just Paul's natural charm"

"You're shitting me?"

"Nope he apologized. Then we heard Sam start to shift so we went into the trees and shifted back."

"Then what took so long?"

"Well we had to walk back didn't we. Couldn't exactly shift with Sam around."

"So Sam still doesn't know?"

"Nope. Though Paul thinks Sam would understand since Emily is his imprint and all."

"You don't agree?"

"Sam has been all fire and brimstone since I got here. All he has been about is the destruction of the Cullens. So no, I don't think he'll react well to me being imprinted to one."

"Yeah. But we also thought Paul was going to react badly and look."

"Paul is all temper. He's a hothead, that's all. Sam is dedicated to his convictions. It's different."

I sighed cause Jacob was right. Paul got angry at anything but underneath all of that he was a nice guy. Sam on the other hand ...

"Oh, man!" Jared wailed, interrupting us.

I looked up, and he was examining a fading pink line on Paul's forearm. I started grinning, exultant.

"Fifty dollars," I crowed.

"You guys bet on us?" Jacob asked.

I nodded happy I was fifty dollars richer.

"And you bet against me!" Jake said with fake outrage to Jared pushing him playfully "Now you know better."

"Hey, guys," Sam said in a loud voice, interrupting all the conversations going on in the small room. Emily was at the stove, scraping the egg mixture around a big skillet, but Sam still had one hand touching the small of her back, an unconscious gesture. "I glad we're all getting along but we need to talk. Jacob what the hell is going on? Why would you tell Beau about us"

"I didn't tell Beau anything." Jake defended

"I don't believe you." Sam countered

"Shocker" Jake replied sarcastically.

"Look! We don't have time for you to be playing lone wolf! You're either with this pack or you're not. You haven't been much of a team player."

"When have you given me the chance?" Jake shouted "How can I be a team player when you won't let me be a part of the team?!"

"That's bullshit Jacob"

"How is it bullshit? All you've ever done is push me away."

"I pushed you away cause you never wanted to be here!" Sam shouted back getting in Jacob's face

"I didn't want to be here because you wouldn't accept Edward!"

"He's the EMNEMY!"

"SAYS WHO?"

"The TRIBE JACOB! You're selfish you only think about yourself. I have to think about the tribe."

"The Tribe? THE TRIBE!? Were you thinking about the tribe when you threatened to kick everyone out if I didn't join you."

"It was necessary! You need to realize that the decisions you make don't just affect you."

"I KNOW THAT! But I don't see why you couldn't just try! JUST TRY to be civil with Edward."

"I will NEVER be civil with a vampire."

"And that's why I couldn't join the pack! Why can't you see that? I love him. I won't abandon him."

"He abandoned you."

Jacob tensed.

"He left you." Sam continued

"I know"

"He left and he took his family with him."

"I know."

"He's GONE! And he's not coming back!"

"I KNOW" Jacob screamed, tears unwilling sliding down his cheek for the lost of his imprint "I WAS THERE!" Jacob deflated "I know he's gone Sam. You don't need to rub it in my face."

"But you still didn't join the pack. Instead you moped around grieving someone who's not even alive! Who probably never loved you."

"He loves me!"

"He left!"

"He left BECAUSE he loves me. It's called sacrifice. You wouldn't know what that was if it came and smacked you in the face cause you never had to sacrifice anything. You have the council, you have the pack. You have Emily! What do I have? Edward was all I had and you took him away! You did that! The PACK did that. Why. The. FUCK would I join?"

"You have your father. You have your friends. You have us! You have EVERYTHING Jacob! You refuse to see that."

"Billy, only took me in because he had to." Jacob dismissed "What friends? Embry? Who until three days ago wasn't talking to me properly because of who I love. Quil? Who has fully committed to your protect the tribe bullshit. Paul, Jared? Seth? Who you COMMANED not to see or speak to me. Those friends? Or you mean the ones off the rez? The ones I can't talk to because I can't explain to them that reason why I've been so distant is because my vampire boyfriend was ran off by my shifter pack because the two species are enemies and I'm caught in the middle. Those friends? Fuck you Sam."

Jacob turned to walk out of the house but SAm grabed his arm

"Do not walk away from me!"

"Let. Me. Go." Jake spoke softly and calmly - a direct contrast to the yelling he was just doing - but the threat in his voice was clear.

Sam looked as though he was going to ignore the threat even though by now we were all sure that Jacob was not to be messed with.

"Are you threatening me?"

"I am telling you to Let. Me. Go. Whatever happens next is up to you."

"I am the Alpha!"

"Only because I don't want to be. You'd do well to remember that."

Sam eyes narrowed but Jacob wasn't wrong. It was his birthright to be Alpha and the only reason Sam was still in the position was because Jacob refused it.

"I don't take threats very well." Sam step forward body trembling.

"Embry killed a vampire and Beau knew him!" Jared shouted effectively distracting Sam.

"What?" Sam demanded looking between Jared and myself.

"It's the one we've been tracking for a while." I answered glad that the murderous glint was leaving Jacob's eyes "His name was Laurent."

"And you killed him by yourself. You know better than to attack a vampire alone!" Sam chastised.

"Jacob was there" I countered. Unconscious but there. Jacob smiled.

Sam looked between the two of us but did not comment. "We still don't know what he wanted. Or what the redhead wants."

"Why don't we ask Beau?" I said

"And no bullshit this time" Jacob added

"Victoria - the red head - is trying to avenge her mate. The Cullens killed him last year, and she's after Jacob now."

"I say bring it." Jake said - the idiot.

"But why attack now?" Jared asked

"Because the Cullens aren't here anymore."

"And how do they know the Cullens left?" Emily asked

"Yeah Beau?" Jacob said sarcastically "How DO they know?"

"I told them. I didn't realize they wanted to kill you. They said they were after a wolf. I didn't realize until later it was you."

"Yeah but when you did realize you didn't tell me that you knew. About vampires or shifters or any of it. You played the pathetic human card. I am so tired of being lied to Beau. So tired." Jacob said

"I sorry." Beau replied

"Shove it" Jacob said rolling his eyes.

"So what's the plan?" Paul asked

"There's no plan." Jacob said

"Dude she's after you" Jared countered

"Which makes her my problem" Jacob replied.

"It makes her our problem" Paul insisted.

"It would be our problem if I was part of your pack. Which I'm not nor do I have any intention of joining. So not our problem. My problem."

"Bro you know I got you back." I said

"Not if some people have a say" Jacob said looking at Sam.

If Sam gave the order to stay away from Jacob it mean we would have to listen cause he was Alpha.

"Like Jacob said" Sam said "It's his problem. None of my pack will be involved."

"SAM!" I protested as Jacob laughed

"Such a team player, this guy" Jake smiled "Embry buddy, thank you for your help these last couple of days, you're a true friend. Paul, as much as it physically pains me to say, thank you too. You're a good guy. To the rest of you. Stay strong, Be Safe, and don't let Sam turn you into assholes."

And then Jacob was gone.


	8. Let Me Go

**Chapter VIII**

**Jacob POV**

It was Spring Break in Forks again. Last spring break, I'd been hunted by a vampire, too. I hoped this wasn't some kind of tradition forming.

Since walking out on Sam I had stayed with Mike. I had practically moved in and his parents didn't mind. I didn't talk to or see anyone from the rez. It was weird at first but, already I was falling into the pattern of things.

Everyday I would patrol looking for Victoria but things were quiet. Whatever she was planning she wasn't here.

I leaned my head back, his face drawn with exhaustion.

"You need some sleep, Jake." Mike said

"I'll get around to it."

He reached over and took my hand. My skin was blazing on his.

"Is that one of those wolf things?" he asked me. "The heat, I mean."

"Yeah. We run a little warmer than the normal people. About one-oh-eight, one-oh-nine. I never get cold anymore. I could stand like this" -I gestured to my bare torso - "in a snowstorm and it wouldn't bother me. The flakes would turn to rain where I stood."

"And you all heal fast - that's a wolf thing, too?"

"Yeah, wanna see? It's pretty cool."

"No, I do not want to see!" Mike shouted as soon as he realized what I was thinking.

"Fine. It's a good thing we heal, though. You can't go see just any doctor when you're running a temperature that should mean you're dead."

"No, I guess not" he sighed "What's the hardest part of being a wolf?"

"The hardest part is feeling... out of control," I said slowly. "Feeling like I can't be sure of myself - like maybe you shouldn't be around me, like maybe nobody should. Like I'm a monster who might hurt somebody. There's this girl Emily- Sam's imprint. Sam lost control of his temper for just one second... and she was standing too close. And now there's nothing he can ever do to put it right again. And then, the way it comes so easily to me, the way I'm better at it than the rest of them - does that make me even less human than Embry or Sam? Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm losing myself."

"Is it hard? To find yourself again?"

"At first," I said. "It takes some practice to phase back and forth. But it's easier for me."

"Why?" he wondered.

"Because Ephraim Black was my father's grandfather, and Quil Ateara was my mother's grandfather."

"Quil?" he asked in confusion.

"His great-grandfather," I clarified. "The Quil you know is my second cousin."

"But why does it matter who your great-grandfathers are?"

"Because Ephraim and Quil were in the last pack. Levi Uley was the third. It's in my blood on both sides. I never had a chance. Like Quil doesn't have a chance."

"Am I bothering you with all these questions?"

I smiled "No actually. It's nice to talk about. You're bound to be curious."

"What's the very best part?"

"The best part," I said, suddenly smiling again, "is the speed."

"How fast can you... ?"

"Run?" I finished his question. "Fast enough. I don't know what to measure it by"

"Ok, take tomorrow morning off. We'll do something fun." Mike demanded

The word seemed out of place in my life right now, barely comprehensible, bizarre. "Fun?"

"Fun is exactly what you need. Hmm...Got it!" he crowed. "Cliff Diving?"

"You want to cliff dive?"

"I remember you said you missed it"

"If you're sure."

Mike smiled "I'm sure."

"Dude you're crazy."

"Well you're my best friend so I must be" he said and I laughed "Okay - now let's go get you some sleep."

* * *

I woke early the next morning. The only part of today's plan that I didn't like was that I would have to go to La Push but Mike was right. I did miss cliff diving.

The idea of a distraction from all my worries had me almost excited. Maybe it would be fun.

Mike and I headed over to the beach with him driving. We spent the car ride talking and laughing at nothing at all. Mike was really a great friend. One I didn't expect to have when I moved to Forks.

I knew my way to the lane that passed closest to the cliffs, and then the little path that would take me out to the ledge. As we followed it, I looked for turns or forks and then we were at the top.

The ocean sounded very far away, somehow farther than before.

"You sure about this?" I asked Mike as we walked towards the edge.

"Yeah I'm sure." He smiled "Wait who's that?" He asked pointing towards someone who was already at the edge of the cliff.

It was Sam.

"Stay here!" I told Mike and he looked like he was about to protest until he saw my expression. When I saw that Mike wasn't going to move I walked to where Sam was.

"Imagine my surprise when I heard that someone spotted you on the rez." he started. He was calm. Too calm "I figured you were coming to cliff dive"

"Is there a law against that?" I asked

"Jacob, all I want is for us to get along." Sam said

"First of all, that's bullshit. You don't want us to get along, you want me to submit. And I won't. Not to you. Mike and I will come back another time. The water is too rough."

I turned to leave but he grabbed my arm

"You really want to do this Sam?"

"You won't listen and I don't know why."

He was pulling me towards the cliff's edge.

"Sam let me go." he ignored me "SAM!" I said urgently "Let me go!"

"Ok" he said and then he let go.

And then I was falling off the cliff.

I screamed as I dropped through the open air like a meteor. I had done this hundreds of times but I wasn't prepared this time. The wind resisted, trying vainly to fight the unconquerable gravity, pushing against me and twirling me in spirals like a rocket crashing to the earth.

I sliced through the surface of the water. It was icy, colder than I'd feared. That was when the current caught me.

It felt like the waves were fighting over me, jerking me back and forth between them as if determined to share by pulling me into halves. I knew the right way to avoid a riptide: swim parallel to the beach rather than struggling for the shore. But the knowledge did me little good when I didn't know which way the shore was.

I couldn't even tell which way the surface was.

The angry water was black in every direction; there was no brightness to direct me upward. Gravity was all-powerful when it competed with the air, but it had nothing on the waves - I couldn't feel a downward pull, a sinking in any direction. Just the battering of the current that flung me round and round like a rag doll.

I fought to keep my breath in, to keep my lips locked around my last store of oxygen.

I was going to drown. I was drowning.

My last thought surprised me

At least my near death experiences were over.


	9. The End? Again ...

**Chapter IX**

**Embry's POV**

"Breathe!" I ordered my voice, wild with anxiety.

He wouldn't breathe and I wouldn't stop trying to get him to.

Jacob couldn't die.

Not after everything.

"Breathe, Jacob! C'mon!" Paul begged.

"Jacob?" I pleaded "Jake, please, can you hear me? I can't do this again man. I just can't. You can't die Jake. You can't."

"How long has he been unconscious?" Jared asked.

"Unconscious? You mean dead!" I spat but then calmed down. Anger wasn't helping Jacob. "I don't know," I reported, still frantic. "A few minutes? It didn't take long to tow him to the beach."

I could still remember seeing him fall. I couldn't recognise who it was but I saw someone hit the water and then no one came up. It was on pure instinct I ran towards the beach. When I realized it was Jacob though that's when the panic kicked it.

"BREATHE!" I yelled hitting him particularly hard.

And then he was coughing.

Coughing meant breathing.

Breathing meant alive.

"He's breathing. He'll come around. We should get him out of the cold, though. I don't like the color he's turning..." Sam said. I was shocked he even cared

"Well maybe you shouldn't have pushed him off the cliffs!" That was Mike yelling.

"What do you mean pushed?" I demanded. Sam's face was like stone

"He fell" Sam said "You were too far to see. He slipped and I tried to pull him back"

"You pushed him. I saw you! You tried to kill him."

Sam took a step towards Mike "Prove it."

I looked at Mike, then Sam. I believed Mike. Sam has always wanted Jake out of the way but none of this was helping Jacob right now.

"We'll deal with this later" I said leaving no room for arguments.

"You think it's okay to move him?" Paul asked

"He didn't hurt his back or anything when he fell?" Jared added

"I don't know."

We hesitated. We didn't want to hurt him more

"Embry?" a voice croaked.

"Oh!" I gasped, relief washing over his features. Jacob's voice had never sounded so beautiful "Oh, Jacob! Are you okay? Can you hear me? Do you hurt anywhere?"

"My back," he stuttered, his lips quivering from the cold. "I can't feel my legs"

"Shit" I said the same thing Jared comment

"He must've damaged his spine."

"Let's get you out of here," I said to Jacob nodding to Paul. I slid my arms under his back holding it firm and Paul ran forward grabbing his legs.

"We need to go to the hospital." Paul said.

"We can't. He heals to fast. They'd asked too many questions." I replied.

"What about Cullen?" Mike asked.

"What about Cullen?" Sam demanded trying to be menacing but Mike didn't look bothered.

"Dr. Cullen could probably help." Mike continued

"We don't know where they are." Jared said

"Let's taking him back to Billy's. It's closest. We'll go from there" I said and then I whispered to Jacob not even sure if he could hear me cause his eyes were closed

"You just keep breathing buddy. You just keep breathing."

* * *

Two days.

It had been two days. Jake was in and out of consciousness but he still couldn't move.

Mike and I hadn't moved from his side. The rest of the pack and Billy were in and out but right now it was just the two of us.

I was focused on Jacob but I still smelled it.

"What's wrong?" Mike asked

"Vampire," I spit out.

"How do you know?"

"Because I can smell it. Dammit!"

"Phase or get the two of you out of here?" I hissed at myself. "Wow Embry, how dumb can you be. Get them out. Come on Mike"

"Stop!" he gasped.

"What do you mean stop!"

"That's Dr. Cullen's car." Mike insisted.

If it was Carlisle that meant he was breaking the treaty by being on our land. That also meant he could help Jacob.

Damn the treaty.

"Leave!" I told Mike pointing to the back door.

"What?"

"Leave! I don't think he means harm but it's less expalining to do. I'll deal with Dr. Cullen. Go"

When I was sure Mike was gone, I stepped outside and was greeted by Dr. Cullen. I was surprised he had come alone.

"Embry right?" Dr. Cullen said urgently and I nodded ""I know I'm breaking the treaty, but I want to help. Any consequences I'll pay after Jacob is better"

I had already made up my mind so I nodded.

"Is Jacob alive?" he asked getting right to the point.

"Yes. But he can't move"

"He's conscious?"

"In and out. He's never awake long"

"What happened?"

"Sam pushed him off the cliff."

His eyes opened wide but he didn't comment on that "Where is he?" He asked.

"He's in here." I said stepping aside to let him in and then pointed towards Jacob's room.

As soon as Carlisle walked in Mike stepped aside from where he was at Jacob's head. Jacob's eyes were open.

"Hello Jacob" Dr. Cullen said with a smile

"Carlisle" Jacob respond. He voice was soft and raw and we had to strain to hear him.

"I'm here to check on you. I heard you couldn't move. We're going to fix that." Dr. Cullen spoke already being to examine Jacob.

"Dream" Jacob whispered.

I looked at Dr. Cullen confused but Dr. Cullen smiled again "I assure you Jacob this is not a dream. I am here."

"Alone?" Jacob asked

"Yes."

"Coming back?"

Carlisle sighed "We all missed you Jacob. Our family has become fond of you."

"Not answer"

"Well no." Carlisle laughed, pausing his examination "I'm avoiding your question." Dr. Cullen went back to examining Jacob. "Well here is the problem."

"What's wrong with him?" I asked.

"A bone in his spine has shifted. That's why he's paralyzed. It's also why he finds it painful to talk"

"You can tell that just by touching him. Don't you need like x-rays or something?" I asked.

"I have been a doctor a long time. I don't need to do an x-ray."

"So what now. Is he always going to be like this forever?"

"If it was anyone else he'd be dead, but Jacob heals quickly. If the bone was broken before it's healed now. It's just shifted. We need to shift it back and he'll be fine." He turned to Jake "Jacob, this is going to hurt, but the pain will stop as quickly as it starts."

"Ok" Jacob whispered.

"Hold him." Carlisle demanded of me propping Jacob on his side.

When I was in place he nodded to me and then pressed his palm hard on Jacob back. Jacob's bone made an audible crack and he screamed out.

Then he sat up.

"Ow" Jacob deadpanned, shrugging his shoulders and moving his neck side to .

"Yip he's fine" I said rolling my eyes and Dr. Cullen smiled.

Then the phone rang.

"Excuse me" Dr. Cullen said.

When Dr. Cullen came back his face was serious.

"Edward's going to Italy."

The words were innocent enough but they obviously meant something to Jacob

"The FUCKING IDIOT" Jacob yelled then instantly deflated "It's never easy with him is it?" he asked no one in particular. "Carlisle, I didn't survive being pushed off a cliff for Edward to go off himself."

"Off himself?" I asked and Jacob rolled his eyes nodding "Can vampire commit suicide?"

"Apparently" Jacob spat raising up off the bed.

"Wait wait wait!" I said stepping forward to place a hand on Jake's chest to stop him. "You were dying five seconds ago. Where do you think you're going."

"Italy apparently." He replied pushing my hand off "He thinks I'm dead. Now his family can tell him I'm not but I know Edward. He won't believe them. He'll only believe if he sees me."

"You almost died!" I insisted.

"And Edward is going to die!" Jacob screamed "Embry, you know what that will do to me. I've barely survived as it stands. I have to stop him."

"But how do you know he's going to off himself?"

"Because he thinks I'm dead."

"How do you know he thinks you're dead?"

"Because he's in Italy" Jacob insisted exasperated "Have you not been paying attention. We're wasting time." He took a step forward

"Wait!" I said stepping in front of him. I turned to Carlisle "If Italy has something to do with him killing himself why would you guys let him go?"

"He has not been staying with us." Carlisle answered "He checks in occasionally but for the most part we don't know where he's been."

"There's your answer. Let me go" Jacob insisted

"Wait!" I said again "How did you know something was wrong with Jacob?"

Carlisle sighed "Alice can see the future but before you get worried she can't see the wolves. The future is very subjective, always changing but for the most part our futures, my family I mean, was blurry – which means Jacob was in our lives. But then it became clear and Alice got worried so I came here right away. We didn't tell Edward but he must've found out because as soon as our futures were clear Alice saw Edward –" he trailed off.

"She saw him die." Jacob finished "There are your answers. Embry let me go."

"Am I just supposed to cover for you? When people ask where you are what am I supposed to say?"

"Embry please." He begged

"Dammit Jake," I said stepping aside "No more dying! My heart can't take it buddy."

He nodded and began packing ferociously, throwing things into a duffel bag and grabbing his passport.

"Embry, I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you. Don't tell anyone where I've gone except Paul if you have to. I trust him surprisingly enough. I'll be back as soon as I can"

"You better be."

Jacob nodded

"Go now. Before anyone notices Carlisle's on our land. I don't know how they haven't noticed before. And Jacob you better come back alive or I'll kill you myself."

He smiled and then he and Carlisle were out the door.

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

We made our flight with seconds to spare and then the true torture began. The plane sat idle on the tarmac while the flight attendants strolled - so casually - up and down the aisle, patting the bags in the overhead compartments to make sure everything fit. The pilots leaned out of the cockpit, chatting with them as they passed.

"I know this is faster than running but I still feel like we're moving too slow," I said to Carlisle

He nodded in agreement.

At last the plane rolled lazily from the gate, building speed with a gradual steadiness that tortured me further. I expected some kind of relief when we achieved liftoff, but my frenzied impatience didn't lessen.

Carlsile lifted the phone on the back of the seat in front of him before we'd stopped climbing, turning his back on the stewardess who eyed him with disapproval. Something about my expression stopped the stewardess from coming over to protest.

I Listened to what Carlisle was murmuring to who I thought was Jasper.

"Tell Alice stop trying to search his future. He knows she'll be looking. He won't decide until the last minute."

"No, you can't." Carlisle's voice dropped till it was nearly inaudible, though I was sitting inches from her. I listened harder. "Tell Emmett no... Well, go after Emmett and Rosalie and bring them back... Think about it, Jasper. If he sees any of us, what do you think he will do?"

He nodded. "Then let Alice meet us and I'll come back."

"Exactly. I think Jacob is the only chance - if there is a chance... I'll do everything that can be done, but prepare Esme; the odds aren't good."

"Yes. I'll come back so she won't be alone."

"What's the plan?" I asked when he hung up.

"We're meeting Alice in New York. She'll take you to Edward. She's the best person to be with you because she can search the future."

"Why did you tell Jasper to stop Emmett, why can't they come help us?"

"Two reasons," she whispered, her eyes still closed. "The first I told him. You and Alice could try to stop Edward - if Emmett could get his hands on him, we might be able to stop him long enough to convince him you're alive. But we can't sneak up on Edward. And if he sees us coming for him, he'll just act that much faster. He'll throw a Buiclc through a wall or something, and the Volturi will take him down.

"That's the second reason of course, the reason I couldn't say to Jasper. Because if they're there and the Volturi kill Edward, they'll fight them. Jacob. If there were any chance we could win... if there were a way that we could save my Edward by fighting for him, maybe it would be different. But we can't, and, Jacob, I can't lose my children like that."

I realized why his eyes begged for my understanding. He was protecting the others, at our expense, and maybe at Edward's, too. I understood, and I did not think badly of him. I nodded.

"Couldn't Edward hear you, though.'" I asked. "Wouldn't he know, as soon as he heard your thoughts, that I was alive, that there was no point to this?" I asked knowing the answer.

Not that there was any justification, either way. I still couldn't believe that he was capable of reacting like this. It made no sense! I remembered with painful clarity his words that day. I wasn't going to live without you, he'd said, as if it should be such an obvious conclusion. The idiot

"If he were listening," he explained. "But believe it or not, it's possible to lie with your thoughts. If you had died, we would still try to stop him. And we would be thinking 'he's alive, he's alive' as hard as we could. He knows that."

I ground my teeth in mute frustration.

"If there were any way to do this without you, Jacob, I wouldn't be endangering you like this. It's very wrong of me."

"Don't be stupid. I'm the last thing you should be worrying about." I shook my head impatiently. "People tend to underestimate me but I can take whatever they dish out. I mean people have tried to kill me twice now and I'm not even 18 but I am still alive"

He smiled a grim smile. "I cannot guarantee you Edward and Alice make it out alive - not by a long shot." he raised his eyebrows, as if willing me to take the danger more seriously.

"Who are these Volturi?" I demanded in a whisper. "What makes them so much more dangerous than any other vampire?"

He took a deep breath, and then abruptly leveled a dark glance over my shoulder. I turned in time to see the man in the aisle seat looking away as if he wasn't listening to us. He appeared to be a businessman, in a dark suit with a power tie and a laptop on his knees. While I stared at him with irritation, he opened the computer and very conspicuously put headphones on.

I leaned closer to Carlisle.

"I was surprised that you recognized the name," he said. "That you understood so immediately what it meant - when I said he was going to Italy. I thought I would have to explain. How much did Edward tell you?"

"He just said they were an old, powerful family - like royalty. That you didn't antagonize them unless you wanted to... die,"

"You have to understand," he said, his voice slower, more measured now. "We Cullens are unique in more ways than you know. It's... abnormal for so many of us to live together in peace. It's the same for Tanya's family in the north, and I speculates that abstaining makes it easier for us to be civilized, to form bonds based on love rather than survival or convenience. Even James's little coven of three was unusually large - and you saw how easily Laurent left them. Our kind travel alone, or in pairs, as a general rule. My family is the biggest in existence, as far as I know, with the one exception. The Volturi. There were three of them originally, Aro, Caius, and Marcus."

"I've seen them," I mumbled. "In the picture in your study."

Carlisle nodded. "Two females joined them over time, and the five of them make up the family. I'm not sure, but I suspect that their age is what gives them the ability to live peacefully together. They are well over three thousand years old. Or maybe it's their gifts that give them extra tolerance. Like Edward and Alice, Aro and Marcus are... talented."

He continued before I could ask. "Or maybe it's just their love of power that binds them together. Royalty is an apt description."

"But if there are only five - "

"Five that make up the family," he corrected. "That doesn't include their guard."

I took a deep breath. "That sounds... serious."

"Oh, it is," he assured me. "There were nine members of the guard that were permanent, the last time we heard. Others are more... transitory. It changes. And many of them are gifted as well - with formidable gifts, gifts that make what Alice can do look like a parlor trick. The Volturi chose them for their abilities, physical or otherwise. They don't get into too many confrontations. No one is stupid enough to mess with them. They stay in their city, leaving only as duty calls."

"Duty?" I wondered.

"Didn't Edward tell you what they do?"

"No," I said, feeling the blank expression on my face.

"There's a reason he called them royalty... the ruling class. Over the millennia, they have assumed the position of enforcing our rules - which actually translates to punishing transgressors. They fulfill that duty decisively."

My eyes popped wide with shock. "There are rules? With the way every vampire I've met besides you guys have tried to kill me who'd have thought"

Carlisle chuckled once at my reaction.

"What's the rules?"

"It's not that complicated. There's only one core restriction - and if you think about it, you can probably figure it out for yourself. I mean we do have that in common"

I thought about it. "You can't tell anyone."

"Exactly It makes sense, and most of us don't need policing," he continued. "But, after a few centuries, sometimes one of us gets bored. Or crazy. I don't know. And then the Volturi step in before it can compromise them, or the rest of us."

"So Edward..."

"Is planning to flout that in their own city - the city they've secretly held for three thousand years, since the time of the Etruscans. They are so protective of their city that they don't allow hunting within its walls. Volterra is probably the safest city in the world - from vampire attack at the very least."

"But you said they didn't leave. How do they eat?"

"They don't leave. They bring in their food from the outside, from quite far away sometimes. It gives their guard something to do when they're not out annihilating mavericks. Or protecting Volterra from exposure..."

"From situations like this one, like Edward," I finished his sentence. It was amazingly easy to say his name now. I wasn't sure what the difference was.

"I doubt they've ever had a situation quite like this," he muttered, disgusted. "You don't get a lot of suicidal vampires."

"Edward is an idiot."

Carlisle laughed "He can be very dramatic. You would think it's Rosalie but Edward is the diva of the family."

"I don't doubt it."

After an eternity, the plane began to descend toward New York City. Alice met us as soon as we walked out and Carlisle left to get back to Esme.

* * *

Alice and I had to run for our connection, but that was good - better than having to wait. As soon as the plane was in the air, Alice closed her eyes and slid into a trace. I assumed she was probably searing the future. Trying to see what Edward was planning. I waited as patiently as I could. When it was dark again, I opened the window to stare out into the flat black that was no better than the window shade.

It felt like seconds later when Alice shook my shoulder - I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep.

"Jacob," she hissed, her voice a little too loud in the darkened cabin full of sleeping humans.

I wasn't disoriented - I hadn't been out long enough for that.

"What's wrong?"

Alice's eyes gleamed in the dim light of a reading lamp in the row behind us.

"It's not wrong." She smiled fiercely. "It's right. Edward went to ask for them to kill him. They're deliberating, but they've decided to tell him no."

"The Volturi?" I muttered, groggy.

She nodded "I can see what they're going to say."

"Tell me."

She whispered into my ear. "They're interested in him - they think his talent could be useful. They're going to offer him a place with them."

"What will he say?"

"I can't see that yet, but I'll bet it's colourful." She grinned again. "This is the first good news - the first break. They're intrigued; they truly don't want to destroy him - 'wasteful,' that's the word Aro will use - and that may be enough to force him to get creative. The longer he spends on his plans, the better for us."

It wasn't enough to make me hopeful, to make me feel the relief she obviously felt. There were still so many ways that we could be too late. And if I didn't get through the walls into the Volturi city, I wouldn't be able to stop Alice from dragging me back home.

"Alice?"

"What?"

"I'm confused. How are you seeing this so clearly? And then other times, you see things far away - things that don't happen?"

Her eyes tightened. I wondered if she guessed what I was thinking of.

"It's clear because it's immediate and close, and I'm really concentrating. The faraway things that come on their own - those are just glimpses, faint maybes. Plus, I see my kind more easily than humans and I don't see your kind at all. Edward is even easier because I'm so attuned to him."

"You see me sometimes," I reminded her.

She shook her head. "Not as clearly. It's probably because of how close we are but I have to really concentrate and the future still blurs."

"Carlisle said your futures were blurry and you only got worried when it cleared."

"A blurry future means that you are involved. Somehow Edward was going to give in and you two were going to be together again. Then it all changed. I thought you died."

Alice looked like she wanted to cry.

"I was told I did. But I'm here Alice. You can't get rid of me that easily."

She sighed. "I'm counting on it. Edward is not the only one who loves you you know. When he left we lost you too."

"You're not getting rid of me easily," I repeated.

She smiled "Go back to sleep," she encouraged me. "I'll wake you up when there's something new."

"Right," I grumbled.

Alice pulled her legs up on the seat, wrapping her arms around them and leaning her forehead against her knees. She rocked back and forth as she concentrated.

I rested my head against the seat, watching her, and the next thing I knew, she was snapping the shade closed against the faint brightening in the eastern sky.

"What's happening?" I mumbled.

"They've told him no," she said quietly. I noticed at once that her enthusiasm was gone.

My voice choked in my throat with panic. "What's he going to do?"

"It was chaotic at first. I was only getting flickers, he was changing plans so quickly."

"What kinds of plans?" I pressed.

"There was a bad hour," she whispered. "He'd decided to go hunting."

She looked at me, seeing the comprehension in my face.

"In the city," she explained. "It got very close. He changed his mind at the last minute."

"He wouldn't want to disappoint Carlisle," I mumbled. Not at the end.

"Probably," she agreed.

"Will there be enough time?" As I spoke, there was a shift in the cabin pressure. I could feel the plane angling downward.

"I'm hoping so - if he sticks to his latest decision, maybe."

"What is that?"

"He's going to keep it simple. He's just going to walk out into the sun."

Just walk out into the sun. That was all.

It would be enough. Edward and his freaking sparkly self. No human who saw that would ever forget. The Volturi couldn't possibly allow it. Not if they wanted to keep their city inconspicuous.

I looked at the slight gray glow that shone through the opened windows. "We'll be too late," I whispered, my throat closing in panic.

She shook her head. "Right now, he's leaning toward the melodramatic. He wants the biggest audience possible, so he'll choose the main plaza, under the clock tower. The walls are high there. He'll wait till the sun is exactly overhead."

"So we have till noon?"

"If we're lucky. If he sticks with this decision."

The pilot came on over the intercom, announcing, first in French and then in English, our imminent landing. The seat belt lights dinged and flashed.

"How far is it from Florence to Volterra?"

"That depends on how fast you drive... Jacob?"

"Yes?"

She eyed me speculatively. "How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?"

I smiled and pointed "Only if we steal that one"

A bright yellow Porsche screamed to a stop a few feet in front of where I paced, the word TURBO scrawled in silver cursive across its back. Everyone beside me on the crowded airport sidewalk stared.

"Let's go." She said moving to the passenger side "You drive I direct."

The interior was black leather, and the windows were tinted dark. It felt safer inside, like nighttime. This was a sick car.

I was already weaving, too fast, through the thick airport traffic - sliding through tiny spaces between the cars.

"Do you see anything more?" I asked

"There's something going on," Alice muttered. "Some kind of festival. The streets are full of people and red flags. What's the date today?"

I nodded.

"Try not to get pissed and shift," she added. "We don't have time for any more drama."

"Hey I can control it now." I said but Alice didn't look convinced "Like 98% of the time"

The sun continued to climb in the sky while Alice raced against it. It was too bright, and that had me panicking. Maybe he wouldn't feel the need to wait for noon after all. Did I mention he was an idiot

"There," Alice said abruptly, pointing to the castle city atop the closest hill.

I supposed the city was very beautiful. Not that I had time to admire it's beauty/

"Volterra," Alice announced in a flat, icy voice.


	10. Here We Go

**Chapter X**

We began the steep climb, and the road grew congested. As we wound higher, the cars became too close together for me to weave insanely between them anymore. We slowed to a crawl behind a little tan Peugeot.

"Alice," I said urgently

"It's the only way in," her voice was strained.

The cars continued to edge forward, one car length at a time. The sun beamed down brilliantly, seeming already overhead.

The cars crept one by one toward the city. As we got closer, I could see cars parked by the side of the road with people getting out to walk the test of the way. At first I thought it was just impatience - something I could easily understand. But then we came around a switchback, and I could see the filled parking lot outside the city wall, the crowds of people walking through the gates. No one was being allowed to drive through.

"Alice," I whispered urgently.

"I know," she said.

Now that I was looking, and we were crawling slowly enough to see, I could tell that it was very windy. The people crowding toward the gate gripped their hats and tugged their hair out of their faces. Their clothes billowed around them. I also noticed that the color red was everywhere. Red shirts, red hats, red flags dripping like long ribbons beside the gate, whipping in the wind - as I watched, the brilliant crimson scarf one woman had tied around her hair was caught in a sudden gust. It twisted up into the air above her, writhing like it was alive. She reached for it, jumping in the air, but it continued to flutter higher, a patch of bloody color against the dull, ancient walls.

"Jacob." Alice spoke quickly in a fierce, low voice. "I can't see what the guard here will decide now - if this doesn't work, you're going to have to go in alone. You're going to have to run. Just keep asking for the Palazzo dei Priori, and running in the direction they tell you. Don't get lost. Or 'the clock tower,' if they speak English. I'll go around and try to find a secluded spot somewhere behind the city where I can go over the wall."

I nodded. "Palazzo dei Priori."

"Edward will be under the clock tower, to the north of the square. There's a narrow alleyway on the right, and he'll be in the shadow there. You have to get his attention before he can move into the sun."

I nodded furiously.

We were near the front of the line. A man in a navy blue uniform was directing the flow of traffic, turning the cars away from the full lot. They U-turned and headed back to find a place beside the road. Then it was our turn.

The uniformed man motioned lazily, not paying attention. I accelerated, edging around him and heading for the gate. He shouted something at us, but held his ground, waving frantically to keep the next car from following our bad example.

The man at the gate wore a matching uniform. As we approached him, the throngs of tourists passed, crowding the sidewalks, staring curiously at the pushy, flashy Porsche.

The guard stepped into the middle of the street. I angled the car carefully before coming to a full stop. The sun beat against my window, and she was in shadow.

The guard came around the car with an irritated expression, and tapped on the window angrily.

I rolled the window down halfway, and I watched him do a double take when he saw the faces behind the dark glass, staring more at Alice than at me.

"I'm sorry, only tour buses allowed in the city today," he said in English, with a heavy accent. He was apologetic, now, as if he wished he had better news for the strikingly beautiful woman and her company.

"It's a private tour," Alice said, flashing an alluring smile. She stretched over me reached her hand out of the window, into the sunlight. I froze, until I realized she was wearing an elbow-length, tan glove. She took his hand, still raised from tapping her window, and pulled it into the car. She put something into his palm, and folded his fingers around it.

His face was dazed as he retrieved his hand and stared at the thick roll of money he now held. The outside bill was a thousand dollar bill.

"Is this a joke?" he mumbled.

Alice's smile was blinding. "Only if you think it's funny."

He looked at her, his eyes staring wide. I glanced nervously at the clock on the dash. If Edward stuck to his plan, we had only five minutes left.

"I'm in a wee bit of a hurry," she hinted, still smiling.

The guard blinked twice, and then shoved the money inside his vest. He took a step away from the window and waved us on. None of the passing people seemed to notice the quiet exchange. Money really did create possiblities. I drove into the city, and we both sighed in relief.

The street was very narrow, cobbled with the same color stones as the faded cinnamon brown buildings that darkened the street with their shade. It had the feel of an alleyway. Red flags decorated the walls, spaced only a few yards apart, flapping in the wind that whistled through the narrow lane.

It was crowded, and the foot traffic slowed our progress.

"Just a little farther," Alice encouraged me.

I drove in quick spurts and sudden stops, and the people in the crowd shook their fists at us and said angry words that I was glad I couldn't understand. She had me turn onto a little path that couldn't have been meant for cars; shocked people had to squeeze into doorways as we scraped by. We found another street at the end. The buildings were taller here; they leaned together overhead so that no sunlight touched the pavement - the thrashing red flags on either side nearly met. The crowd was thicker here than anywhere else. Alice told me to stop the car. I had the door open before we were at a standstill.

She pointed to where the street widened into a patch of bright openness. "There - we're at the southern end of the square. Run straight across, to the right of the clock tower. I'll find a way around - "

Her breath caught suddenly, and when she spoke again, her voice was a hiss. "They're everywhere?"

I froze in place, but she pushed me out of the car. "Forget about them. You have two minutes. Go, Jacob, go!" she shouted, climbing out of the car as she spoke. "And don't shift"

I didn't pause to watch Alice melt into the shadows. I didn't stop to close my door behind me. I shoved a heavy woman out of my way and ran flat out, head down, paying little attention to anything but the uneven stones beneath my feet.

Coming out of the dark lane, I was blinded by the brilliant sunlight beating down into the principal plaza. The wind whooshed into me, flinging my hair into my eyes and blinding me further. It was no wonder that I didn't see the wall of flesh until I'd smacked into it.

There was no pathway, no crevice between the close pressed bodies. I pushed against them furiously, fighting the hands that shoved back. I heard exclamations of irritation and even pain as I battled my way through, but none were in a language I understood. The faces were a blur of anger and surprise, surrounded by the ever-present red. A blond woman scowled at me, and the red scarf coiled around her neck looked like a gruesome wound. A child, lifted on a man's shoulders to see over the crowd, grinned down at me, his lips distended over a set of plastic vampire fangs.

The throng jostled around me, spinning me the wrong direction. I was glad the clock was so visible, or I'd never keep my course straight. But both hands on the clock pointed up toward the pitiless sun, and, though I shoved viciously against the crowd, I knew I was too late.

I listened, above the angry exclamations, trying to hear the sound of discovery: the gasp, maybe the scream, as Edward came into someone's view.

But there was a break in the crowd - I could see a bubble of space ahead. I pushed urgently toward it, not realizing till I bruised my shins against the bricks that there was a wide, square fountain set into the center of the plaza.

The whole way there I was screaming in my head  _"I'm ALIVE"_  hoping Edward would hear my thoughts

I was nearly crying with relief as I flung my leg over the edge and ran through the knee-deep water. It sprayed all around me as I thrashed my way across the pool. Even in the sun, the wind was glacial, and the wet made the cold actually painful. But the fountain was very wide; it let me cross the center of the square and then some in mere seconds. I didn't pause when I hit the far edge - I used the low wall as a springboard, throwing myself into the crowd.

They moved more readily for me now, avoiding the icy water that splattered from my dripping clothes as I ran. I glanced up at the clock again.

A deep, booming chime echoed through the square. It throbbed in the stones under my feet.

"Edward!" I screamed, knowing it was useless. The crowd was too loud, and my voice was breathless with exertion.

The clock tolled again. I ran past a child in his mother's arms - his hair was almost white in the dazzling sunlight. A circle of tall men, all wearing red blazers, called out warnings as I barreled through them. The clock tolled again.

On the other side of the men in blazers, there was a break in the throng, space between the sightseers who milled aimlessly around me. My eyes searched the dark narrow passage to the right of the wide square edifice under the tower. I couldn't see the street level - there were still too many people in the way. The clock tolled again.

It was hard to see now. Without the crowd to break the wind, it whipped at my face and burned my eyes. I couldn't be sure if that was the reason behind my tears, or if I was crying in defeat as the clock tolled again.

A little family of four stood nearest to the alley's mouth. The two girls wore crimson dresses, with matching ribbons tying their dark hair back. The father wasn't tall. It seemed like I could see something bright in the shadows, just over his shoulder. The clock tolled, and the littlest girl clamped her hands over her ears.

The older girl, just waist high on her mother, hugged her mother's leg and stared into the shadows behind them. As I watched, she tugged on her mother's elbow and pointed toward the darkness. The clock tolled, and I was so close now.

I was close enough to hear her high-pitched voice. Her father stared at me in surprise as I bore down on them, rasping out Edward's name over and over again.

The older girl giggled and said something to her mother, gesturing toward the shadows again impatiently.

I swerved around the father - he clutched the baby out of my way - and sprinted for the gloomy breach behind them as the clock tolled over my head.

"Edward, no!" I screamed, but my voice was lost in the roar of the chime.

I could see him now. And I could see that he could not see me.

Edward stood, motionless as a statue, just a few feet from the mouth of the alley. His eyes were closed, the rings underneath them deep purple, his arms relaxed at his sides, his palms turned forward. His expression was very peaceful, like he was dreaming pleasant things. The marble skin of his chest was bare - there was a small pile of white fabric at his feet. The light reflecting from the pavement of the square gleamed dimly from his skin.

I'd never seen anything more beautiful - even as I ran, gasping and screaming, I could appreciate that. And the last seven months meant nothing. And his words in the forest meant nothing.

The clock tolled, and he took a large stride toward the light.

"No!" I screamed. "Edward, look at me!"

He wasn't listening. He smiled very slightly. He raised his foot to take the step that would put him directly in the path of the sun.

I was still far away but I had phased on the fly once, jumping in the air higher than I thought possible. I did the same now – just without the turning into a giant wolf part.

I slammed into him so hard that the force would have hurled us to the ground if his arms hadn't caught me. It knocked my breath out of me and snapped my head back.

His dark eyes opened slowly as the clock tolled again.

He looked down at me with quiet surprise.

"Jacob?"

"You're an idiot" I said with urgency "You've got to get back into the shadows. You have to move!"

"I'm I dead?"

"You will be if you don't fucking move!" I said pulling him "I'm not dead. And neither are you! Please Edward, we have to move. They can't be far away!"

"What was that?" he asked politely.

Edward was an idiot. "We're not dead, not yet! But we have to get out of here before the Volturi - "

Comprehension flickered on his face as I spoke. Before I could finish, he suddenly yanked me away from the edge of the shadows, spinning me effortlessly so that my back was tight against the brick wall, and his back was to me as he faced away into the alley. His arms spread wide, protectively, in front of me.

I peeked under his arm to see two dark shapes detach themselves from the gloom.

"Greetings, gentlemen," Edward's voice was calm and pleasant, on the surface. "I don't think I'll be requiring your services today. I would appreciate it very much, however, if you would send my thanks to your masters."

"Shall we take this conversation to a more appropriate venue?" a smooth voice whispered menacingly.

"I don't believe that will be necessary." Edward's voice was harder now. "I know your instructions, Felix. I haven't broken any rules."

"Felix merely meant to point out the proximity of the sun," the other shadow said in a soothing tone. They were both concealed within smoky gray cloaks that reached to the ground and undulated in the wind. "Let us seek better cover."

"I'll be right behind you," Edward said dryly. "Jacob, why don't you go back to the square and enjoy the festival?"

"No, bring the boy," the first shadow said, somehow injecting a leer into his whisper.

"I don't think so." The pretense of civility disappeared. Edward's voice was flat and icy. His weight shifted infinitesimally, and I could see that he was preparing to fight.

"No." I mouthed the word.

"Shh," he murmured, only for me.

"Felix," the second, more reasonable shadow cautioned. "Not here." He turned to Edward. "Aro would simply like to speak with you again, if you have decided not to force our hand after all."

"Certainly," Edward agreed. '"But he goes free."

"I'm afraid that's not possible," the polite shadow said regretfully. "We do have rules to obey."

"Then I'm afraid that I'll be unable to accept Aro's invitation, Demetri."

"That's just fine," Felix purred. Felix was very big, tall and thick through the shoulders. His size reminded me of Emmett. I could take him though.

"Aro will be disappointed," Demetri sighed.

"I'm sure he'll survive the letdown," Edward replied.

Felix and Demetri stole closer toward the mouth of the alley, spreading out slightly so they could come at Edward from two sides. They meant to force him deeper into the alley, to avoid a scene. No reflected light found access to their skin; they were safe inside their cloaks.

Edward didn't move an inch. He was dooming himself by protecting me.

Abruptly, Edward's head whipped around, toward the darkness of the winding alley, and Demetri and Felix did the same, in response to some sound or movement too subtle for my senses.

"Let's behave ourselves, shall we?" a lilting voice suggested. "There are ladies present."

Alice tripped lightly to Edward's side, her stance casual. There was no hint of any underlying tension. She looked so tiny, so fragile. Her little arms swung like a child's.

Yet Demetri and Felix both straightened up, their cloaks swirling slightly as a gust of wind funneled through the alley. Felix's face soured. Apparently, they didn't like even numbers.

"We're not alone," she reminded them.

Demetri glanced over his shoulder. A few yards into the square, the little family, with the girls in their red dresses, was watching us. The mother was speaking urgently to her husband, her eyes on the five of us. She looked away when Demetri met her gaze. The man walked a few steps farther into the plaza, and tapped one of the red-blazered men on the shoulder.

Demetri shook his head. "Please, Edward, let's be reasonable," he said.

"Let's," Edward agreed. "And we'll leave quietly now, with no one the wiser."

Demetri sighed in frustration. "At least let us discuss this more privately."

Six men in red now joined the family as they watched us with anxious expressions.

Edward's teeth came together audibly. "No."

Felix smiled.

"Enough."

The voice was high, reedy, and n came from behind us.

At first I thought it was a young boy. The newcomer was as tiny as Alice, with lank, pale brown hair trimmed short. The body under the cloak - which was darker, almost black - was slim and androgynous. But the face was too pretty for a boy. The wide-eyed, full-lipped face would make a Botticelli angel look like a gargoyle. Even allowing for the dull crimson irises.

Her size was so insignificant that the reaction to her appearance confused me. Felix and Demetri relaxed immediately, stepping back from their offensive positions to blend again with the shadows of the overhanging walls.

Edward dropped his arms and relaxed his position as well - but in defeat.

"Jane," he sighed in recognition and resignation.

Alice folded her arms across her chest, her expression impassive.

"Follow me," Jane spoke again, her childish voice a monotone. She turned her back on us and drifted silently into the dark.

Felix gestured for us to go first, smirking.

Alice walked after the little Jane at once. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me along beside her. The alley angled slightly downward as it narrowed.

"Well, Alice," Edward said conversationally as we walked. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you here."

"It's very nice to see you too Edward," Alice answered in the same tone. "You look well."

"What happened?" He asked me. His voice was polite, as if he were barely interested. I imagined this was due to the listening ears behind us.

"It's a long story." I answered. "In summary, a cliff and I had a little disagreement but all is well now."

"Hm," Edward said curtly, and the casual tone of his voice was gone.

There was a loose curve to the alley, still slanting downward, so I didn't see the squared-off dead end coming until we reached the flat, windowless, brick face. The little one called Jane was nowhere to be seen.

Alice didn't hesitate, didn't break pace as she strode toward the wall. Then, with easy grace, she slid down an open hole in the street.

It looked like a drain, sunk into the lowest point of the paving. I hadn't noticed it until Alice disappeared, but the grate was halfway pushed aside. The hole was small, and black.

"Can I fit in there? I'd hate to get stuck" I said incredulously "My arm is about the size of that tunnel"

Edward shook his head amused "Just go"

I shrugged and closed my eyes and fell.

It was silent and short. The air whipped past me for just half a second, and then, with a huff I landed in a crouch

"Like a boss" I said smiling at Alice and her laugh was musical.

It was dim, but not black at the bottom. The light from the hole above provided a faint glow, reflecting wetly from the stones under my feet. The light vanished for a second, and then Edward was a faint, white radiance beside me. He put his arm around me, holding me close to his side, and began to tow me swiftly forward. I wrapped both arms around his cold waist as we walked ahead. The sound of the heavy grate sliding over the drain hole behind us rang with metallic finality.

The dim light from the street was quickly lost in the gloom. The sound of my staggering footsteps echoed through the black space; it sounded very wide. There were no sounds other than my frantic heartbeat and my feet on the wet stones - except for once, when an impatient sigh whispered from behind me. I purposely slowed down even more after that.

Edward held me tightly as though he was afraid if he let go I would disappear. I understood his fear because I felt the same.

I wished I could ask him exactly what was going to happen now. I wanted desperately to know if we were going to die and how much of a fight this was going to be. But he couldn't speak to answer my thoughts, even in a whisper, surrounded as we were. The others could hear everything.

The path beneath our feet continued to slant downward, taking us deeper into the ground, and it made me claustrophobic. I couldn't tell where the light was coming from, but it slowly turned dark gray instead of black. We were in a low, arched tunnel. Long trails of ebony moisture seeped down the gray stones, like they were bleeding ink.

We hurried through the tunnel, or at least they tried. My purposeful slow progress irritated someone, I guessed Felix and I heard him heave a sigh now and then.

At the end of the tunnel was a grate the iron bars were rusting, but thick as my arm. A small door made of thinner, interlaced bars was standing open. Edward ducked through and hurried on to a larger, brighter stone room. The grille slammed shut with a clang, followed by the snap of a lock.

On the other side of the long room was a low, heavy wooden door. It was very thick as I could tell because it, too, stood open.

We stepped through the door, and I glanced around me. Beside me, Edward tensed, his jaw clenched tight.

Here we go.


	11. The Volturi

**Chapter XI**

We were in a brightly lit, unremarkable hallway. The walls were off-white, the floor carpeted in industrial gray. Common rectangular fluorescent lights were spaced evenly along the ceiling. It was warmer here. This hall seemed very benign after the gloom of the ghoulish stone sewers.

Edward didn't seem to agree with my assessment. He glowered darkly down the long hallway, toward the slight, black shrouded figure at the end, standing by an elevator.

He pulled me along, and Alice walked on my other side. The heavy door creaked shut behind us, and then there was the thud of a bolt sliding home.

Jane waited by the elevator, one hand holding the doors open for us. Her expression was apathetic.

Once inside the elevator, the three vampires that belonged to the Volturi relaxed further. They threw back their cloaks, letting the hoods fall back on their shoulders. Felix and Demetri were both of a slightly olive complexion it looked odd combined with their chalky pallor. Felix's black hair was cropped short, but Demetri's waved to his shoulders. Their irises were deep crimson around the edges, darkening until they were black around the pupil. Under the shrouds, their clothes were modern, pale, and nondescript. I had the urge to shift and rip them apart where they stood. These vampires fed on humans. These vampires were the enemy. Edward pulled me closer at my thoughts, his hand rubbed against my arm to calm me. He never took his eyes off Jane.

The elevator ride was short; we stepped out into what looked like a posh office reception area. The walls were paneled in wood, the floors carpeted in thick, deep green. There were no windows, but large, brightly lit paintings of the Tuscan countryside hung everywhere as replacements. Pale leather couches were arranged in cozy groupings, and the glossy tables held crystal vases full of vibrantly colored bouquets. The flowers' smell reminded me of a funeral home.

In the middle of the room was a high, polished mahogany counter. I gawked in astonishment at the woman behind it.

She was tall, with dark skin and green eyes. She would have been very pretty in any other company but not here. Because she was human. One hundred percent human. I couldn't comprehend what this human woman was doing here, totally at ease, surrounded by vampires.

She smiled politely in welcome. "Good afternoon, Jane," she said. There was no surprise in her face as she glanced at Jane's company. Not Edward, his bare chest glinting dimly in the white lights, or even me, with my ridiculous height or unrealistic -for my age -muscles .

Jane nodded. "Gianna." She continued toward a set of double doors in the back of the room, and we followed.

As Felix passed the desk, he winked at Gianna, and she giggled.

On the other side of the wooden doors was a different kind of reception. The pale boy in the pearl gray suit could have been Jane's twin. His hair was darker, and his lips were not as full, but he was just as lovely. He came forward to meet us. He smiled, reaching for her. "Jane."

"Alec," she responded, embracing the boy. They kissed each other's cheeks on both sides. Then he looked at us.

"They send you out for one and you come back with two and a half," he noted, looking at me. "Nice work."

She laughed the sound sparkled with delight like a baby's cooing.

"Welcome back, Edward," Alec greeted him. "You seem in a better mood."

"Marginally," Edward agreed in a flat voice. I glanced at Edward's hard face, and wondered how his mood could have been darker before.

Alec chuckled, and examined me as I clung to Edward's side. "And this is the cause of all the trouble?" he asked, skeptical. He looked at me closer "But you smell different. Wrong. Why is that?"

Edward only smiled, his expression contemptuous. Then he froze.

"Dibs," Felix called casually from behind.

Edward turned, a low snarl building deep in his chest. Felix smiled his hand was raised, palm up; he curled his fingers twice, inviting Edward forward.

Alice touched Edward's arm. "Patience," she cautioned him and when that didn't work I turned his face to mine "Calm and steady wins the race. If I have to stay calm so do you"

Edward took a deep breath and turned back to Alec.

"Aro will be so pleased to see you again," Alec said, as if nothing had passed.

"Let's not keep him waiting," Jane suggested.

Edward nodded once.

Alec and Jane, holding hands, led the way down yet another wide, ornate hall - would there ever be an end?

They ignored the doors at the end of the hall doors entirely sheathed in gold stopping halfway down the hall and sliding aside a piece of the paneling to expose a plain wooden door. It wasn't locked. Alec held it open for Jane.

I wanted to groan when Edward pulled me through to the other side of the door. It was the same ancient stone as the square, the alley, and the sewers. And it was dark and cold again.

The stone antechamber was not large. It opened quickly into a brighter, cavernous room, perfectly round like a huge castle turret which was probably exactly what it was.

Two stories up, long window slits threw thin rectangles of bright sunlight onto the stone floor below. There were no artificial lights. The only furniture in the room were several massive wooden chairs, like thrones, that were spaced unevenly, flush with the curving stone walls. In the very center of the circle, in a slight depression, was another drain. I wondered if they used it as an exit, like the hole in the street.

The room was not empty. A handful of people were convened in seemingly relaxed conversation. The murmur of low, smooth voices was a gentle hum in the air. As I watched, a pair of pale women in summer dresses paused in a patch of light, and, like prisms, their skin threw the light in rainbow sparkles against the sienna walls.

The exquisite faces all turned toward our party as we entered the room. Most of the immortals were dressed in inconspicuous pants and shirts things that wouldn't stick out at all on the streets below. But the man who spoke first wore one of the long robes. It was pitch-black, and brushed against the floor. For a moment, I thought his long, jet-black hair was the hood of his cloak.

"Jane, dear one, you've returned!" he cried in evident delight. His voice was just a soft sighing.

I was only more astonished as he floated closer and I could see his face. It was not like the unnaturally attractive faces that surrounded him (for he did not approach us alone; the entire group converged around him, some following, and some walking ahead of him with the alert manner of bodyguards). I couldn't decide if his face was beautiful or not. I suppose the features were perfect. But he was as different from the vampires beside him as they were from me. His skin was translucently white, like onionskin, and it looked just as delicate it stood in shocking contrast to the long black hair that framed his face. I felt a strange, horrifying urge to touch his cheek, to see if it was softer than Edward's or Alice's, or if it was powdery, like chalk. His eyes were red, the same as the others around him, but the color was clouded, milky; I wondered if his vision was affected by the haze.

He glided to Jane, took her face in his papery hands, kissed her lightly on her full lips, and then floated back a step.

"Yes, Master." Jane smiled; the expression made her look like an angelic child. "I brought him back alive, just as you wished."

"Ah, Jane." He smiled, too. "You are such a comfort to me."

He turned his misty eyes toward us, and the smile brightened became ecstatic.

"And Alice and Jacob, too!" he rejoiced, clapping his thin hands together. "This is a happy surprise! Wonderful!"

I stared in shock as he called our names informally, as if we were old friends dropping in for an unexpected visit. Was this bloodsucker for real

He turned to our hulking escort. "Felix, be a dear and tell my brothers about our company. I'm sure they wouldn't want to miss this."

"Yes, Master." Felix nodded and disappeared back the way we had come.

"You see, Edward?" The strange vampire turned and smiled at Edward like a fond but scolding grandfather. "What did I tell you? Aren't you glad that I didn't give you what you wanted yesterday?"

"Yes, Aro, I am," he agreed, tightening his arm around my waist.

"I love a happy ending." Aro sighed. "They are so rare. But I want the whole story. How did this happen? You seemed so sure. Alice?" He turned to gaze at Alice with curious, misty eyes. "Your brother seemed to think you infallible, I assumed you would have seen, but apparently there was some mistake."

"Oh, I'm far from infallible." She flashed a dazzling smile. She looked perfectly at ease, except that her hands were balled into tight little fists. "As you can see today, I cause problems as often as I cure them."

"You're too modest," Aro chided. "I've seen some of your more amazing exploits, and I must admit I've never observed anything like your talent. Wonderful!"

Alice flickered a glance at Edward. Aro did not miss it.

"I'm sorry, we haven't been introduced properly at all, have we? It's just that I feel like I know you already, and I tend get ahead of myself. Your brother introduced us yesterday, in a peculiar way. You see, I share some of your brother's talent, only I am limited in a way that he is not." Aro shook his head; his tone was envious.

"And also exponentially more powerful," Edward added dryly. He looked at Alice as he swiftly explained. "Aro needs physical contact to hear your thoughts, but he hears much more than I do. You know I can only hear what's passing through your head in the moment. Aro hears every thought your mind has ever had."

Alice raised her delicate eyebrows, and Edward inclined his head.

 _'So he knows that I'm a -_ ' I said in my head to Edward and he subtly nodded.

Aro didn't miss that either.

"But to be able to hear from a distance" Aro sighed, gesturing toward the two of us, and the exchange that had just taken place. "That would be so convenient."

Aro looked over our shoulders. All the other heads turned in the same direction, including Jane, Alec, and Demetri, who stood silently beside us.

I was the slowest to turn. Felix was back, and behind him floated two more black-robed men. Both looked very much like Aro, one even had the same flowing black hair. The other had a shock of snow-white hair the same shade as his face that brushed against his shoulders. Their faces had identical, paper-thin skin.

The trio from Carlisle's painting was complete, unchanged by the last three hundred years since it was painted.

"Marcus, Caius, look!" Aro crooned. "Jacob is alive after all, and Alice is here with him! Isn't that wonderful?"

Neither of the other two looked as if wonderful would be their first choice of words. The dark-haired man seemed utterly bored, like he'd seen too many millennia of Aro's enthusiasm. The other's hice was sour under the snowy hair.

Their lack of interest did not curb Aro's enjoyment.

"Let us have the story," Aro almost sang in his feathery voice.

The white-haired ancient vampire drifted away, gliding toward one of the wooden thrones. The other paused beside Aro, and he reached his hand out, at first I thought to take Aro's hand. But he just touched Aro's palm briefly and then dropped his hand to his side. Aro raised one black brow. I wondered how his papery skin did not crumple in the effort.

Edward snorted very quietly, and Alice looked at him, curious.

"Thank you, Marcus," Aro said. "That's quite interesting."

I realized, that Marcus was letting Aro know his thoughts.

Marcus didn't look interested. He glided away from Aro to join the one who must be Caius, seated against the wall. Two of the attending vampires followed silently behind him bodyguards, like I'd thought before. I could see that the two women in the sundresses had gone to stand beside Caius in the same manner. The idea of any vampire needing a guard was faintly ridiculous to me, but maybe the ancient ones were as frail as their skin suggested.

Aro was shaking his head. "Amazing,"' he said. "Absolutely amazing."

Alice's expression was frustrated and mine was bored. Could they just kill us or let us leave already. Choose one and be over with it.

Edward turned to her and explained again in a swift, low voice. "Marcus sees relationships. He's surprised by the intensity of ours."

Aro smiled. "So convenient," he repeated to himself. Then he spoke to us. "It takes quite a bit to surprise Marcus, I can assure you."

I looked at Marcus's dead face, and I believed that.

"It's just so difficult to understand, even now," Aro mused, staring at Edward's arm wrapped around me. It was hard for me to follow Aro's chaotic train of thought. I struggled to keep up. "How can you stand so close to him like that? The smell is - unappeal"

"It's not without effort," Edward answered calmly the same time I said "It's not like you smell like roses and petunias now sweetheart. Let's not compare stenches."

Aro looked surprised to be spoken to that way and Edward look resigned as though he didn't expect anything less while Alice laughed, loud and musical.

"But still-la tua cantante! What a waste! I'm sure he taste better than he smells."

Edward chuckled once without humor. "Except he does not fall within the first category. Are you sure you read my mind Aro."

Aro was skeptical. " La tua il sangue mi chiama."

" La tua anima mi chiama."

Aro laughed. "Not possible. Not with him. You must be mistaken. You're young. These errors can happen."

"I'm not mistaken. Maybe you're losing your touch," Edward finished, his voice sarcastic now.

Aro laughed again. "Ah, how I miss my friend Carlisle! You remind me of him -only he was not so angry."

"Carlisle outshines me in many other ways as well."

"I certainly never thought to see Carlisle bested for self-control of all things, but you put him to shame with the company you keep."

"Hardly." Edward sounded impatient. As if he were tired of the preliminaries.

"I am gratified by his success," Aro mused. "Your memories of him are quite a gift for me, though they astonish me exceedingly. I am surprised by how it, pleases me, his success in this unorthodox path he's chosen. I expected that he would waste, weaken with time. I'd scoffed at his plan to find others who would share his peculiar vision. Yet, somehow, I'm happy to be wrong."

Edward didn't reply.

"But your restraint!" Aro sighed. "I did not know such strength was possible. To inure yourself against such a siren call, not just once but again and again -if I had not felt it myself, I would not have believed."

Edward gazed back at Aro's admiration with no expression. I knew his face well enough-time had not changed that-to guess at something seething beneath the surface. "As I said Aro," his voice was even "His blood does not call to me."

"And as I said. Impossible."

Edward tensed. He heard something we didn't.

"Don't be disturbed," Aro reassured him. "I mean him no harm. But I am so curious, about one thing in particular." He eyed me with bright interest. "May I?" he asked eagerly, lifting one hand.

"Ask him," Edward suggested in a flat voice.

"Of course, how rude of me!" Aro exclaimed. "Jacob," he addressed me directly now. "I'm fascinated by your - kind. I am curious to there being more of you. Edward didn't interact with the others much but I assume you do. I was wondering, if you would be so kind as to allow me to see your mind?"

"Do you think I am dumb enough to think you are really giving me a choice?" I asked already moving forward.

I turned to Edward with one single question in my mind  _'Can you hear me now?'_  and then brought down my mental shield harder than I ever had before.

I had been practicing - to ensure that other than Paul and Embry no one else would find out about the imprint. Too many people had access to my mind and I had to find a way to ensure my thoughts would stay my own when necessary.

Edward's wide eyes and the subtle shake of his head told me that my practice had paid off. Now it just had to work on Aro.

"This is so exciting" Aro smiled as he glided closer, and I believe he meant his expression to be reassuring.

"Happy to get a first hand report of trade secrets are we?" I spat "I must warn you. I'm not a favourite back home. I don't know much."

Aro ignored my comment and reached out, as if to shake my hand, and pressed his insubstantial-looking skin against mine. It was hard, but felt brittle shale rather than granite and even colder than I expected. It took everything in me to not shift right there and then.

Aro's face altered as I watched. The confidence wavered and became first doubt, then incredulity before he calmed it into a friendly mask.

"Why can't I see anything," he said as he squeezed tighter.

I smirked "Trade secret"

My eyes flickered to Edward, and, though his face was composed, I thought he seemed a little smug.

Aro didn't like that. Faster than I expected Aro released my hand and threw me across the room. My head cracked against the wall causing a loud boom across the room before anyone could react. My shield dropped as a sharp pain went through my head but it didn't matter because Aro was no longer touching my hand.

 _'I'm fine'_ I thought before Edward could do anything stupid "Quite an arm you got there man" I said aloud to Aro pushing myself up from the floor "Ever thought about taking up any sports?"

"Shift!" Aro demanded.

"Excuse me?" I asked as though confused even though I knew what he meant.

"I said shift." Aro demanded again "The shift is brought on by extreme anger or pain. That much I got from Edward. Yet you hit your head and here you are on two feet."

"Well that was more like a love tap than extreme pain. If you want me to 'shift' or whatever that is you are talking about you going to have to come better than that."

"I know what you are." Aro's face was back to perfect calm the anger he portrayed a second ago gone.

"No. You think you know what I am." I said smirking "I'm merely human. Maybe you couldn't hear my thoughts due to your old age. Don't worry it happens to everyone"

"I have been kind to you so far beast," he said "I wonder if your little trick makes you immune to our other talents? Jane, dear?"

"No!" Edward snarled the word. Alice grabbed his arm with a restraining hand. He shook her off.

Little Jane smiled up happily at Aro. "Yes, Master?"

Edward was truly snarling now, the sound ripping and tearing from him, glaring at Aro with baleful eyes. The room had gone still, everyone watching him with amazed disbelief, as if he were committing some embarrassing social faux pas. I saw Felix grin hopefully and move a step forward. Aro glanced at him once, and he froze in place, his grin turning to a sulky expression.

Then he spoke to Jane. "I was wondering, my dear one, if Jacob here is immune to you."

Jane turned toward me with a beatific smile.

"Don't!" Alice cried as Edward launched himself at the little girl.

Before I could react, before anyone could jump between them, before Aro's bodyguards could tense, Edward was on the ground.

No one had touched him, but he was on the stone floor writhing in obvious agony. As soon as he hit the floor I was down too. Agony flowing through every one of my bones. Jane was smiling only at him now, and it all clicked together. What Alice had said about formidable gifts , why everyone treated Jane with such deference, and why Edward had thrown himself in her path before she could do that to me.

Something else clicked too. How Edward knew I was 'dead'. The Quiluetes believed that an imprinter could feel the pain of an imprintee if they were close to death no matter the distance. The imprinter would not last long after the imprintee was gone. The fact that our connection was both ways linked us. Not only was I Edward's soulmate he was mine. I felt his pain and he felt mine. He felt me die. No wonder we were here now.

Edward looked at me confused. He heard my thoughts. Must be wondering about the imprint thing. I shook my head. Now was not the time.

"Jane," Aro recalled her in a tranquil voice. She looked up quickly, still smiling with pleasure, her eyes questioning. As soon as Jane looked away, Edward was still.

"Interesting" Aro said. "Jane hurt Edward but you went down."

Aro turned to Jane again and inclined his head toward me.

Jane turned her smile in my direction.

I didn't even meet her gaze. I watched Edward from the prison of Alice's arms, still struggling pointlessly.

"He's fine," Alice whispered in a tight voice to him. As she spoke, he sat up, and then sprang lightly to his feet. His eyes met mine, and they were horror-struck.

But I was ready this time. The pain was ten times worse as it was aimed directly but it did not knock me to the ground as it did Edward. And as I had a control over the pain he did not feel it as badly as I did when it was him.

I was still on the ground but I gathered up as much strength as I could muster and pushed up.

I looked directly at Jane and she no longer smiled. She glared at me, her jaw clenched with the intensity of her focus. I shrank back, the pain intensifying but it was nothing I couldn't take. It seem being near death twice did something to your pain tolerance.

"Come on is that the best you got?" I said walking towards her.

Alec moved to come between me and Jane but Aro shook him off.

"Jane!" Aro said demandingly.

And I could tell she was trying really hard. Bitch was breaking bones with her mind now. But they were healing as fast as they broke. My body was adapting. It became easier every time until I could no longer feel the pain. There would be time to figure out the how later, but now I had Jane's neck in my hand and Aro's attention.

"Enough games." I said.

"You think I'm going to let the three of you walk out of here?" Aro asked

"You think I wouldn't fight back?" I said squeezing Jane's neck harder. It began to crack sounding and looking like marble. "You say you know what I am. I am assuming the others do not. But -if this is what I can do on two legs just imagine the possibilities." I lifted Jane higher. Her legs completely off the ground.

"So what do we do with you now?" Aro sighed as though it didn't matter I had one of his loyal subjects by the neck. "I obviously was misinformed about your – talents – because I doubt such a beast would have such self control"

I squeezed tighter "You flatter"

"But that would mean you're just exceptionally human" he didn't believe that for a second "and we can't have you knowing about us can we?"

"I believe we have come to an impass."

"I cannot let you out of here Jacob. I know what you are. You control just intrigues me more."

"I know you think you won't let me go but we'll deal with that in a moment. For now, let's make a deal. I'll let Jane here go if you let Edward and Alice walk out of here. Something tells me Jane is valuable to you. It would be such a waste"

"Deal" Aro said nodding to Demitri and Felix for them to lead Alice and Edward out.

"Not a fucking chance" Edward screamed stepping forward.

I kept my hold on Jane but turned my body to Edward.

"The minute we leave here he kills you."

"Edward would you trust me?" I said with a roll of my eyes

"I would," he scoffed "But you don't have a plan."

"How do you know?" I said rolling my eyes again.

"I can read your mind!" he huffed and even with the seriousness of the situation I couldn't help but smiled.

"Edward," I said calmly looking straight into his eyes "Trust me"

"I don't like this" he spat and then he an Alice was following Demitri and Felix out. As soon as I could no longer hear their footsteps I dropped Jane.

"Now Aro, let talk." He nodded "Privately."

The others didn't like that but I could care less. I didn't plan on killing Aro. Not yet at least.

He led me into a room ajoining the throne room. It looked exactly the same as the room we were in before but smaller.

"Can we be heard?" I asked as soon as he closed the door

"The room is soundproof." He answered and I believed him. He had no reason to lie.

"I'm a shifter." I said taking a seat on one of the comfortable couches. It had been a long day and my feet were tired.

"I know" Aro said. "I saw it in Edward's mind. I saw your triggers. You should've shifted when I threw you and when Jane attacked. You didn't. Why?"

"I don't know."

"Bullshit." And it sounded weird coming from Aro because his expression was a pure calm and innocence.

"No. I really don't know. There's a lot I don't know because I haven't cared to ask. Believe it or not but I'm not really into this whole shift into a wolf business." I sighed "But for you, I will."

"Will what?"

I laughed "Ask. Come on Aro keep up. Isn't the reason why you wanted to look into my mind is to find out the strengths and weaknesses of the shifters. I mean we are your only enemy. Get rid of us and vampires rule. It's what you want, right?"

"And what does this have to do with you?" he asked. He was intrigued now.

"Let me go. I'll be you inside man. I'll learn the legends. Join the tribe. Be one with the spirit Gods and all that stuff. I'll learn everything possible about shifters and no one will suspect a thing. Then I relate the information to you."

"I still don't see what you get out of this."

"Immunity to your murderous whims of course. You won't kill your source of information. And immunity for a few other people. I have a list."

"What's to say I won't just kill you after you've told me everything."

I smiled "Well Aro, I may look it but I'm not dumb. Every year I'll visit you and tell you a little fact about us shifters. If it's satisfactory you let me walk out of here and I'll see you the next year. When I run out of fun fact, by all means, kill away.

"And what makes you think I'll take this deal. That I won't just kill you right now."

"You've lived for a long time Aro. You've lasted this long because you're smart. You know when to attack and when not to. You know nothing about me. You know nothing about what I am. You don't know if all shifters can do what I do or if I'm the exception. You don't know why your mind trick didn't work or why I was affected by Jane when she attacked Edward but not when she attacked me. Have you even actually seen a shifter in real or is it just stories. Is all you know from Edward's mind? You know nothing. So you won't kill me. Because you don't know if you would lose and you never go into a fight not knowing the outcome."

"You're smarter than you look Jacob." Aro said resigned "I'll take your deal. But it starts right now. You don't walk out of here until you tell me something useful about shifters."

I shrugged "We can hear each other thoughts. When were shifted that is. Our minds are linked. And we learn how to block that connection because it gets annoying."

"You can hear each other? Like Edward."

I nodded. "Like I said there's a lot for you to know. Plenty of benefit to keeping me alive."

Aro looked as though he was considering it but I knew he would take the deal. A man like Aro always wants to be able to exploit his enemies weaknesses and you can't exploit what you don't know.

"I'll see you next year Jacob," he said and I smirked "Now please take Edward and Alice and leave. I look forward to all I can learn from you."

"Pleasure doing business Aro." I said getting up and walking towards the door.

I exited the mini throne room into its bigger version where everyone stood waiting. Jane looked especially unhappy to see me alive.

"How's your neck?" I asked smiled and she snarled and prepared to lunge but Aro stopped her.

"He is to be unharmed. But Jacob," I halted my steps and turned to him "Know this, we may have a truce for now but if your kind does anything - Anything at all - to endanger mine all bets are off. I will kill you."

"You mean you will try Aro. But know the same thing applys to you and your merry band of misfits. Hurt anyone I love I'll come for you."

"We have an understanding" Aro said joining Marcus and Caius where the stood.

"Goodbye."

Demitri stood there to lead the way out and I followed. It was eerily quiet in the tunnels. It was then that I first heard the babble of voices loud, rough voices coming from the antechamber.

"Well this is unusual," a man's coarse voice boomed.

"So medieval," an unpleasantly shrill, female voice gushed back.

A large crowd was coming through the little door, filling the smaller stone chamber. Demetri motioned for us to make room. We pressed back against the cold wall to let them pass.

The couple in front, Americans from the sound of them, glanced around themselves with appraising eyes.

"Welcome, guests! Welcome to Volterra!" I could hear Aro sing from the big turret room.

The rest of them, maybe forty or more, filed in after the couple. Some studied the setting like tourists. A few even snapped pictures. Others looked confused, as if the story that had led them to this room was not making sense anymore. I noticed one small, dark woman in particular. Around her neck was a rosary, and she gripped the cross tightly in one hand. She walked more slowly than the others, touching someone now and then and asking a question in an unfamiliar language. No one seemed to understand her, and her voice grew more panicked.

Quickly enough I understood what was happening. These people were lunch. It took everything in me not to trun back around and rip all those vampires to shreds but I was out numbered. From what Carlisle told me the guard stood bigger than the few that were in the throne room. And if I attacked now there was nothing stopping Aro from going after the Cullens. Going after the rez.

"Welcome home, Heidi," Demetri greeted her from behind us.

Heidi smiled absently. She reminded me of Rosalie, though they looked nothing alike it was just that her beauty, too, was exceptional, unforgettable. I couldn't seem to look away.

She was dressed to emphasize that beauty. Her amazingly long legs, darkened with tights, were exposed by the shortest of miniskirts. Her top was long-sleeved and high-necked, but extremely close-fitting, and constructed of red vinyl. Her long mahogany hair was lustrous, and her eyes were the strangest shade of violet a color that might result from blue-tinted contacts over red irises.

"Demetri," she responded in a silky voice, her eyes flickering between my face and Edward's gray cloak.

"Nice fishing," Demetri complimented her, and I suddenly understood the attention-grabbing outfit she wore she was not only the fisherman, but also the bait.

"Thanks." She flashed a stunning smile. "Aren't you coming?"

"In a minute. Save a few for me."

Heidi nodded and ducked through the door with one last curious look at me.

When she had disappeared I turned to Demitri "You guys are disgusting. You should know that. I'm just waiting for the day one of you mess up so I can rip you apart."

He didn't get a chance to answer before the screaming started.


	12. Everyone's Just ... Okay?

Demitri left me in the cheerful reception area, where the woman Gianna was still at her post behind the polished counter. Bright, harmless music tinkled from hidden speakers.

"Do not leave until dark," he warned us.

Edward nodded, and Demetri hurried away.

Gianna did not seem at all surprised by the exchange, though she did eye me with shrewd speculation.

"Are you all right?" Edward asked under his breath, to low for the human woman to hear, pulling me into a tight hug His voice was rough with anxiety. Still stressed by our situation, I imagined.

"Ye have little faith. I told you I would be fine Edward."

"They're just going to let us walk out of here?"

"I may have made a little deal with Aro." I admitted.

"You negotiated with the Volteri" Alice said incredulously.

"No. I negotiated with Aro. Look we'll be safe as long as I give him what he wants."

"And what does he want?" Edward demanded "Is out freedom worth it?"

"I would give anything to be with you Edward. You should know that by now." I sighed "Look , right here, right now let's promise no matter what happens we won't let go of each other. We'll face things together. Okay."

"I'm never letting you go again." he declared.

"Good."

Alice sighed "All this lovey doveiness between the two of you is making me miss Jasper. I can't wait until we get back home"

I smiled "And where exactly is home?"

"Forks" Edward replied without hesitation.

"Hey Edward" I started "Next time you decide to be an idoit - and there better not be a next time but I'm just saying - leave your family out of it. I missed them. All of them." I turned to Alice "It really is great to be around you again"

She smiled "We missed you too Jake. Especially Emmett. He wouldn't shut up about how Edward made him lose his first 'bro' in a long time"

She laughed and I couldn't help but join in.

"Is there anything I can get you while you wait?" a voice interrupted politely. It was Gianna, leaning over Edward's shoulder with a look that was both concerned and yet still professional and detached at the same time. It didn't seem to bother her that her face was inches from a hostile vampire. She was either totally oblivious, or very good at her job.

"No," Edward answered coldly.

I slapped him playfully "Behave"

She nodded, smiled at me, and then disappeared.

I waited until she was out of hearing range. "Does she know what's going on here?".

"Yes. She knows everything," Edward told me.

"Does she know they're going to kill her someday?"

"She's knows it's a possibility," he said. "She's hoping they'll decide to keep her."

"She wants to be one of them? One of those creepy assholes. Really?"

He nodded once, his eyes sharp on my face, watching my reaction.

"Don't worry I'm not going to shift. I'm in control. But how can she want that? I mean no offence to you guys because none of you are a danger to human society. But how can she watch those people file through to that hideous room and want to be a part of that? But who am I to judge when the only reason we're walking out of here is cause I made a deal with the devil."

Edward didn't answer. His expression twisted in response to something I'd said. His fingertips traced the circles under my eyes. "You look so tired."

"Near death experiences would do that to you. And I've had two in almost as many days." I sighed "But more importantly, you look thirsty," I whispered back, studying the purple bruises under his black irises. "When was the last time you fed?"

He shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

"It does but I'm not going to fight you for now. Come on," I said pulling him to the couch. "Sit and be my pillow."

I pushed him until he was seated then sat next to him leaning my head into his lap. "Wake me up when the sun goes down and we can leave."

I was tired enough to fall asleep right there. So when Edward's arms tightened around me, and both he and Alice looked to the back of the room with wary eyes, I flew up. Alec -his eyes now a vivid ruby, but still spotless in his light gray suit despite the afternoon meal- walked through the double doors.

"Well good morning to you too" I said sitting up

"You're free to leave now," Alec told us, his tone so warm you'd think we were all lifelong friends. "We ask that you don't linger in the city."

Edward made no answering pretense; his voice was ice cold. "That won't be a problem."

Alec smiled, nodded, and disappeared again.

"Follow the right hallway around the corner to the first set of elevators," Gianna told us as Edward helped me to my feet. "The lobby is two floors down, and exits to the street. Goodbye, now," she added pleasantly. I wondered if her competence would be enough to save her.

Alice shot her a dark look.

We left through a tastefully luxurious lobby. I was the only one who glanced back at the medieval castle that housed the elaborate business facade I couldn't see the turret from here, for which I was grateful.

The party was still in full swing in the streets. The street lamps were just coming on as we walked swiftly through the narrow, cobbled lanes. The sky was a dull, fading gray overhead, but the buildings crowded the streets so closely that it felt darker.

The party was darker, too. Edward's long, trailing cloak did not stand out in the way it might have on a normal evening in Volterra. There were others in black satin cloaks now, and the plastic fangs I'd seen on the child in the square today seemed to be very popular with the adults.

"Ridiculous," Edward muttered once.

I didn't notice when Alice disappeared from beside me. I looked over to ask her a question, and she was gone.

"Where's Alice?" I didn't see her leave.

"She went to retrieve your bags from where she stashed them this morning."

"She's stealing a car, too, isn't she?" I guessed.

He grinned. "Not till we're outside."

"Dude you should've seen the sweet car we 'borrowed' to get here. It was amazing"

Edward just laughed and we continued to walk. It seemed like a very long way to the entryway.

I shuddered as he pulled me through the dark stone archway. The huge, ancient portcullis above was like a cage door, threatening to drop on us, to lock us in.

He led me toward a dark car, waiting in a pool of shadow to the right of the gate with the engine running. He slid into the backseat with me. I went willingly instead of insisting on driving.

Alice was apologetic. "I'm sorry." She gestured vaguely toward the dashboard. "There wasn't much to choose from."

"It's fine, Alice." He grinned. "They can't all be 911 Turbos."

I sighed. "How expensive are those. I may have to acquire one of those legally. It was fabulous."

"I'll get you one for Christmas," Edward promised.

I shook my head - of course he would. "Don't you dear!"

"What about me?" Alice chimed in.

"I'll buy you one since Jacob doesn't want it" he said smiling at me

Alice turned to beam at him.

"Yellow," she told him.

Edward kept me tight in his arms..

"You can sleep now, Jacob" he murmured. "I don't know what you said to Aro but it's over."

"I'll sleep when we're home."

The dark road was threatening to put me to sleep though but the bright lights at the airport in Florence made it easier, as did the chance to brush my teeth and change into clean clothes; Alice bought Edward new clothes, too, and he left the dark cloak he wore on a pile of trash in an alley. The plane trip to Rome was so short that there wasn't really a chance for the fatigue to drag me under. I knew the flight from Rome to Atlanta would be another matter entirely, so I asked the flight attendant if she could bring me a coffee.

"Jacob," Edward said disapprovingly. "You could always just sleep"

"I could" I said defiantly

Alice was behind us. I could hear her murmuring to Jasper on the phone.

"I don't want to sleep," I reminded him.

He didn't argue with me after that.

It would have been a very good time to talk, to get the answers I needed- the answers we both needed. We had an uninterrupted block of tirre ahead of us, and he couldn't escape me on an airplane -well, not easily, at least. No one would hear us except Alice; it was late, and most of the passengers were turning off lights and asking for pillows in muted voices. Talk would help me fight off the exhaustion.

But, perversely, I bit my tongue against the flood of questions. We would have time to talk later. My reasoning was probably flawed by exhaustion

So I kept drinking coffee. Edward seemed perfectly content to hold me in his arms

Edward didn't speak. Maybe he was hoping I would sleep. Maybe he had nothing to say.

I won the fight against my heavy lids. I was awake when we reached the airport in Atlanta, and I even watched the sun beginning to rise over Seattle's cloud cover before Edward slid the window shut

Neither Alice nor Edward was surprised by the reception that waited for us at Sea-Tac airport, but it caught me off guard. Jasper was the first one I saw but he didn't seem to see me at all. His eyes were only for Alice. She went quickly to his side; they didn't embrace like other couples meeting there. They only stared into each other's faces, yet, somehow, the moment was so private that I still felt the need to look away.

Carlisle and Esme waited in a quiet corner far from the line for the metal detectors, in the shadow of a wide pillar. Esme reached for me, hugging me fiercely, yet awkwardly, because Edward kept his arms around me, too.

"Thank you so much," she said in my ear.

Then she threw her arms around Edward, and she looked like she would be crying if that were possible.

"You will never put me through that again," she nearly growled.

Edward grinned, repentant. "Sorry, Mom."

"Thank you, Jacob," Carlisle said. "We owe you."

"Hardly," I said.

"Jacob!"

And suddenly I was being lifted off the ground. I couldn't help but laugh "Emmett! Hi buddy."

"It's good to see you"

"You too" The sleepless night was suddenly overpowering. My head felt disconnected from my body.

"He's dead on his feet," Esme chastised Edward. "Let's get him home."

Not sure if home was what I wanted at this point, I stumbled, half-blind, through the airport, Edward dragging me on one side and Emmett on the other. I didn't know if Alice and Jasper were behind us or not, and I was too exhausted to look.

I think I was mostly asleep, though I was still walking, when we reached their car. The surprise of seeing Rosalie leaning against the black sedan under the dim lights of the parking garage revived me some.

"I was starting to think you didn't come"

"And miss seeing your face" she replied coming forward and giving me a hug "Never"

Then, Emmett and Rosalie got in the front seat without speaking, while Edward pulled me in the back again. I knew I wasn't going to be able to fight my eyelids anymore, and I laid my head against his chest in defeat, letting them close. I felt the car purr to life.

And that was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep.

* * *

I had the sense that I'd been asleep for a very long time -my body was stiff, like I hadn't moved once through all that time, either.

Something cold touched my forehead with the softest pressure.

"No" I whispered "I want to still be sleeping."

A chuckle made me open my eyes and I was looking straight at Edward's face.

"Hi" he whispered.

"I need to stop waking up and not knowing where I am," I said to no one in particular sitting up and turning to Edward "But this looks a lot like you're room"

"It is"

"We're back in Forks?"

He nodded

"Well shit," I flopped back down on the bed "Anyone knows I'm back?"

"Charlie spotted us when we came back. I'm assuming he told Billy because since then Billy hasn't stopped calling. We have not been answering."

"Avoidance - the solution for all problems apparently." I closed my eyes "Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you real? I would hate for this just to be a vivid dream."

And then he was over me and kissing me. I felt like everything and nothing I've ever felt at the same time. I realized I'll never have enough of this. I would never tire of this. And suddenly he's kissing me harder, deeper, with a fervent urgent need I've never known before.

And then Emmett bellowed - "LET"S GET IT ON" - and it was over. I mean come on. I thought the rooms were supposed to be sound proof.

I laughed and pushed Edward to the side and sat up again this time actually making it off the bed "Zero privacy."

"That was amazing" Edward whispered

"Kissing you usually is" I replied rolling my eyes.

"Well yeah of course" he said getting up off the bed and coming to stand by me "But that was different."

Suddenly, he yanks me against him and tip toes -Edward has to tip toe now- to kiss me. I melt into him as his fingers tangle in my hair. My mouth opens to his, and our tongues meet for the briefest instance before he pulls away.

"You can't tell me that wasn't different than before"

"Maybe it's because one of you have been acting like a twat for the last couple of months and you miss the intimacy" Emmett - ever the cheerleader - supplied.

I laughed while Edward yelled "Can you just PRETEND that you are all not eavesdropping on our conversation please. Especially you Emmett!"

"He's not wrong" I added walking out of the room and down the step to where the rest of the Cullens were. If they were going to hear the conversation anyway it didn't matter if they were in the room or not.

"Jacob!" Edward exclaimed in mock offence.

I laughed again "What? He's not. You're a twat" I said and Edward pouted "But - you're not wrong either. It is different. I'm not surprised though. I am hungry."

"Why aren't you surprised?" Edward asked the same time that Esme - bless her heart - immediately placed a plate of everything I could ever what in front of me. There were pancakes, waffles, bacon and eggs with sausage and more. I sat down immediately and started eating.

"There's extra if you want when you're done" she said.

"Esme you're cooking is just -" I moaned successfully cutting off my sentence cause I was too busy shoving food in my mouth.

"Jacob?" Edward tried to get my attention

"What?" I asked though it sounded more like 'wot' cause my mouth was still full.

" Why aren't you surprised?"

I swallowed "You know that whole soulmate mumbo jumbo."

"That you don't believe in?" he nodded.

I shrugged "Except now I do."

"Had a change of heart?" Alice asked smiling.

I smirked - as if you could call an imprint a change of heart "That's one way of putting it."

"What's an imprint?" Edward asked

"Stop reading my mind. It's rude" I said with no bite at all "Imprinting - and this is the by the book definition - is the involuntary mechanism by which Quileute shape-shifters find their soulmates. It is a profound and intimate phenomenon."

Carlise was now very interested "Shifters have a way of finding soulmates as well? How does it work."

"You guys know the Quileutes are a secretive people. I could only find out so much without actually telling anyone I imprinted but it's basically just like the vampire version just a little more intense I guess. It happens when you look at whoever - in this case Edward - directly in their eyes for the first time. When it happens it's as if you're being pulled to whoever. Everyone and everything else in your life becomes secondary, and only the imprintee is left to matter. Which basically means the shape-shifter has a deep need to do anything to please and protect his soulmate. Edward's the one for me." I turned to him "You're it. There's never going to be anyone else."

"I guess you were just as mopey as Edward then when you were apart." Rose said

"I think I was a little worse off. Not to say that it wasn't bad for you Eddie but I -" I trailed off. They weren't going to like this part " You have to understand. The imprinter is deemed to be the "perfect match" to the imprintee. There is literally no one else in the universe I could be with but Edward. However, let's for a second forget that Edward's a vampire and that I'm his soulmate too right. Unlike me, the imprinter, the imprintee, Edward, can choose whether they accept or reject the imprint. Because it is a perfect match there has never been a reject imprint which is great but should it happen, the imprinter tends to feel unspeakable pain, and may even want to commit suicide. It wasn't fun when you were gone Edward. I don't know how I made it. If wasn't for Embry at one point I wouldn't have. It was too much and I was ready for it to just end." I sighed "But that is over you're all back and I no longer feel incomplete."

Edward looked mad "Why wouldn't you tell me this before?" his voice was raised

I pushed away my plate and got up standing directly in front of Edward "You LEFT! How the fuck was I going to tell you when I didn't know where you were?"

"You couldn't stop me?!"

"I tried!" I yelled "YOU LEFT! Why am I the one being screamed at? You! You- Edward Cullen - you left me. YOU left ME. Don't get upset now cause you feel bad."

"I wouldn't of left if I'd known you were going to be suffering."

"So I only suffered because of the imprint? Is that what your saying?"

"That's not what I'm saying. You're twisting my words."

"How are you two soulmates?" Emmett interrupted

"SHUT UP EMMETT" Edward and I said at the same time.

"I'm just saying" he whispered under his breath as Alice chuckled.

And then the tense air was broken and we were all laughing. Leave it to Emmett to make everyone laugh in any situation.

"I am so sorry for what I put you through" Edward started "If it's any consolation it felt like my chest was going to explode at any moment every minute I stayed away from you."

I sighed "Water under the bridge. You're here now and no one is going anywhere."

He stepped forward pulling me in a tight hug "No one is going anywhere" he repeated.

"Great!" Emmett boomed "This is all great. BUT ..."

Everyone sighed

"Don't sigh at me" Emmett continued "The wolves still aren't our biggest fans. Now we're back I doubt they're throwing us any parades. Plus we're now on the Volturi's radar. I don't know what you guys did to get out of there in one piece but it's bound to have consequences."

"Let me worry about the wolves and the Volturi won't bother us once I keep my side of the deal." I said

"What deal?" Jasper demanded

"Don't worry. It's all sorted."

"It's not. You don't make deals with the Volturi Jacob. They can't be trusted." Jasper insisted.

"Jacob I get you have been all alone these last couple of months" Carlisle started "And I cannot imagine how hard that must of been. But now you have us. You don't have to carry your burdens alone. We are all here for you, not just Edward."

"Dude, you're practically a Cullen now" Emmett added shoving me playfully.

I shoved him back laughing "Who said I wanted to be part of your pasty ass family" I shook my head "Fine but before I tell you about my deal with Aro, I should update you about the wolves."

Everyone nodded and we moved from the kitchen to the living room so everyone could have a seat. Alice, Rosalie and Emmett sat on the big couch while Jasper and Edward sat on the handle at each end, Jasper next to Alice and Edward next to Emmett. Carlisle and Esme took the love seat and I sat in the armchair opposite everyone.

"The wolves are pretty simple. They won't try anything. Technically I'm Alpha every though I haven't officially taken up the mantel. I haven't officially turned it down either. I've been keeping my distance. Edward's not the only one with cool mind reading powers. When shifted the wolves can hear each other. It's very annoying. So I haven't been shifting. Especially since the imprint. Didn't want them finding out so I avoided shifting. No one knows except Embry and Paul. Paul found out when I shifted. Embry found out when I passed out in the forest" Edward tensed "I'm fine" I said to him "But Laurent's not."

"What does Laurent have to do with anything?" Alice asked

"Bastard tried to kill me. Embry killed him."

"Why was Laurent after you?" Esme asked concerned.

"I think I was just convenient. I mean I was passed out half dead in the forest. Not exactly in prime condition to fight back. He underestimated Embry. Laurent did mention Victoria though."

"Victoria?" Edward asked.

"James' mate?" Jasper added

I nodded. "She gunning for me. Not exactly thrilled you lot killed James. Mate for mate Laurent said. But Victoria hasn't tried anything as yet. At least not directly so. We don't have to worry about her. Not yet. And Embry has been by my side since."

"And Paul?" Alice asked

"Paul is a dick" I laughed "But he's a loyal dick. I expected him to rat me out but he hasn't. He's actually been helping me. I didn't want what happened to happen with any of the others if I accidentally shifted like I did with Paul. So I've been practicing shielding with Paul and as we could see it has paid off."

"What do you mean?" Rosalie asked

"Aro couldn't read his mind" Edward answered "Jacob dropped a shield and it was impossible to break through. I've never met anyone who could do that."

I smiled "I'm just full of surprises."

"Talking about Aro. What did you promise him?" Jasper asked

I sighed "Trade secrets. Aro is afraid of the wolves because he has no way of knowing any information. He knows nothing about us. I just gave him a way to gain the information. He let us live and I tell him all he needs to know about the shifters. It was too good an opportunity for him to pass up."

"How do you know he won't just kill us all anyway?" Emmett asked

"Aro has always been careful. That's why they've been in charge for so long. The shifters are the one enemy that Aro has never been able to crack. He won't ruin his one chance to get information and he won't attack until he knows for certain when he does he won't lose." Carlisle said.

"Exactly." I agreed "Aro will leave us be."

"And when he's learned all he needs too?" Esme asked.

"That's a long time from now. The wolves don't even know everything about themselves. I am a lot stronger than they anticipated. Even for a Alpha. The elders don't know why. So how will Aro? And like Carlisle said Aro is too careful to attack without knowing. If he does attack we'll deal with it then. For now, we are safe."

"Jacob," Carlisle started "When I came to help you, Embry said Sam pushed you off the cliff. What did he mean?"

"Sam pushed you!"Edward shouted

"I don't remember much. I remember going up to the cliffs with Mike - side note Mike knows everything by the way - and I saw Sam. Next thing I remember is Embry yelling at me to live."

"Why the fuck is Sam still alive?" Edward asked the same time Emmett went "You told Mike?"

"Sam is alive because to the elders Sam is Alpha. They need Sam as their leader cause if it's not Sam it'll be me and they don't really like my pro-Vamp attitude. And yes Emmett, I told Mike. I was half dead and Embry was bleeding. He had no where else to go but to Mike and we had to give Mike an explanation. Don't worry. He won't say a thing. He just finds the whole thing cool."

"You have had to deal with so much by yourself" Esme said.

I wasn't by myself for the most part. I had Embry, Mike. I have Paul - which I still can't believe cause like I said he's a dick - and now I have you guys."

"So what everything is normal now? All this build up and everyone is just ... ok?" Emmett asked in disbelief causing us all to laugh.

"Look," I started "we're on the Volturi's radar, Sam's an attempted murderer, Billy is a loose cannon, God alone knows what trouble Beau's gonna cause ..."

"Who's Beau?" Edward asked

"A story for next time" I answered not really wanting to go into the 'he's a guy who likes me and also knows about vampires and might be the reason why Laurent tried to kill me' spiel "Point is ... things aren't ok ... but they aren't bad either. I say we call it a win."

"How do you think they're going to react when you go back to the rez now that we're back?" Alice asked.

I shrugged "I wouldn't know. I'm not going back."

"You're not?" Edward asked.

"Well unless you're saying I can't move in with you ..." I said playfully knowing he wouldn't say no and he just smiled "Well that settles it. I'm moving in"

Everyone just laughed and that was that.


End file.
